Straight Line of the Day: To Celebrate the Start of His Fourth Term As Russian President, Vladimir Putin…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

To celebrate the start of his fourth term as Russian President, Vladimir Putin…

27 Comments

  1. … bought himself that fancy packet of Hillary’s post-election emails that he’s had his eye on.

    … put out a nationwide Amber Alert for that one SOB who didn’t vote for him.

  2. … sipped a Bollinger ’42 and laughed, watching CNN footage of his enemies being Uber- and A.I.-driven, class-driven, and grievance-driven, as he listened to the lamentations of their Nasty Women (and men who identify as such).

  3. …joined all Russians in a prayer to their main line of national defense, Saint Fatalitima, the patron saint of cannon fodder.

    …declared war on Hillary’s strategy of Russian election meddling payback: personally depleting their stores of cheap Russian vodka.

    …had his burly masseuse work out the writers cramp he gets from memos to the DNC telling them that this time they’ve really gone way too far.

    …double checked that the nuke that probably works doesn’t find it’s way into the next military parade, again, dagnabbitizky.

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