WASHINGTON, DC (AP) – After taking the first step toward establishing the United States Space Force as the 6th branch of the armed forces by creating Space Command (SPACECOMM) as part of the Department of Defense, the new military organization is already struggling with its first operational crisis. Crew members aboard the Nuclear Space Ship Enterprise (NSS 65) report that they have been overrun by aliens in the form of large quantities of purring, spherical furballs that “are turning up everywhere”.

Enterprise Captain James Kirok said he still wasn’t sure what happened.

“Well, I guess we’re learning a lesson about the dangers of invasive species,” said Kirok. “Which is good timing. Better to learn it now that after hordes of well-armed lizard men with sparkly silver eyes try taking over our planet like they did to our outpost on Cestus 3. But even though these critters aren’t violent, fast moving, or even possessed of sharp teeth – or a face, for that matter – they’re still presenting some difficulties with operations.”

“At first, it was no big deal,” Kirok said. “My communications officer, Lt. O’Hara, brought one of them aboard for a pet, all fuzzy and purring and cute as the dickens. Next thing you know, they were reproducing like bunny rabbits on Clomid. They were everywhere! On desks, tables, chairs, walls, floors, ceilings, file cabinets – I even went to lunch, and the darn things were all over my chicken sandwich and coffee. I decided right then and there to get them off the ship, even if it took every man we had.”

As of this writing, plans are currently underway to transport every fuzzy-loving one of the critters onto a Russian spaceship, where they’re expected to be no trouble at all.
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