“Too much of anything, even love – or fluffy, puffy space aliens – isn’t necessarily a good thing.”
Enterprise Captain James Kirok said he still wasn’t sure what happened.
“Well, I guess we’re learning a lesson about the dangers of invasive species,” said Kirok. “Which is good timing. Better to learn it now that after hordes of well-armed lizard men with sparkly silver eyes try taking over our planet like they did to our outpost on Cestus 3. But even though these critters aren’t violent, fast moving, or even possessed of sharp teeth – or a face, for that matter – they’re still presenting some difficulties with operations.”
“At first, it was no big deal,” Kirok said. “My communications officer, Lt. O’Hara, brought one of them aboard for a pet, all fuzzy and purring and cute as the dickens. Next thing you know, they were reproducing like bunny rabbits on Clomid. They were everywhere! On desks, tables, chairs, walls, floors, ceilings, file cabinets – I even went to lunch, and the darn things were all over my chicken sandwich and coffee. I decided right then and there to get them off the ship, even if it took every man we had.”
As of this writing, plans are currently underway to transport every fuzzy-loving one of the critters onto a Russian spaceship, where they’re expected to be no trouble at all.
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< Buttigieg Accidentally Reads Generic Call For Stronger Gun Laws With Blanks Not Filled In
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IMAO asks you to support our sponsors, because the fuzzy, purring furballs are really piling up around here.
I remember a movie like this called Spaceballs.
In a distant galaxy, planet Spaceball has depleted its air supply, leaving its citizens reliant on a product called “Perri-Air.” In desperation, Spaceball’s leader President Skroob orders the evil Dark Helmet to kidnap Princess Vespa of oxygen-rich Druidia and hold her hostage in exchange for air. But help arrives for the Princess in the form of renegade space pilot Lone Starr and his half-man, half-dog partner, Barf.
Can I have one?
“It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it’s not for the timid.”
— Q, in “Q Who?”
Wait; is this story real?
Of course it’s real, it’s got sponsors don’t it?
SPACECOMM is now real. The rest…
This is what happens when you no longer have ships’ cats.
“I have had it with these monkey fightin’ furballs on this monkey fightin’ spaceship.”
– Captain James Kirok –
Perhaps his science officer, Lt Cmdr Shlock has a solution?
Unlikely, but Sergent Schlock could fix the problem in minutes.
Take them to the slaughterhouse, and every MAGA hat can be decorated with an authentic-looking Donald do.
Deep fry em on a stick, the fur adds a crunchy tang.
They need some waxing.