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  1. Straight Line of the Day: Parents are outraged to learn that their children’s school now requires…

    everyone learn this song.

    Mmm, mmm, mm!
    Barack Hussein Obama
    He said that all must lend a hand
    To make this country strong again
    Mmm, mmm, mm!
    Barack Hussein Obama
    He said we must be fair today
    Equal work means equal pay
    Mmm, mmm, mm!
    Barack Hussein Obama
    He said that we must take a stand
    To make sure everyone gets a chance
    Mmm, mmm, mm!
    Barack Hussein Obama
    He said red, yellow, black or white
    All are equal in his sight
    Mmm, mmm, mm!
    Barack Hussein Obama
    Yes!
    Mmm, mmm, mm
    Barack Hussein Obama

  2. Dress Day. All the girls and boys will wear dresses. Boys so they can see what it is like, and girls so they can show them how to sit, stand, do whatever in a dress which is different that when wearing pants. This will be such a great success that Dress Day will go from once, to once a month, to once a week.

    P. S. boys will be required to sit to pee during Dress Day.

  3. All students past the 4th grade will be required to have the single digit multiplication table memorized to be promoted to the 5th grade. Be able to demonstrate they can identify the subject and the verb in a simple sentence, and know the difference between and adjective and an adverb. They will also need to be able to work with fractions.

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