…take the money I was going to buy Frank’s birthday gift with and spend it on something useful. You know like a container of dehydrated dihydrogen monoxide.
Shed a tear for an America that is not able to properly celebrate its greatest…okay, one of its top ten…er, uh, one of its recognized practitioners of parody.
Host your own Staynarchy(tm) riot. Help yourself to free stuff in your home!
I’ve been looting my pantry and starting fires on my patio!
For Justice!
And juicy, thick, t-bones.
But mostly the t-bones.
…order his latest novel. That way you could enjoy his present in the present.
Available from distinguished booksellers nationwide.
Wait, his next book is out?
Why wasn’t I told!
…sit and wait patiently for his unbirthday.
As a former (and likely still) Mad Hatter, I approve of this SLotD response.
…check and clean your arms and take an ammunition inventory. Seems the prudent thing to do nowadays.
…enjoy listening to both kinds of music, Country AND Western.
…secretly switch my coffee with Folgers Crystals.
…take the money I was going to buy Frank’s birthday gift with and spend it on something useful. You know like a container of dehydrated dihydrogen monoxide.
It isn’t safe to go shopping for Frank’s birthday*, but from home you could…
do nothing while you type on the intertubes things you want people to think you’ve done.
It isn’t safe to go shopping for Frank’s birthday*, but from home you could…
party like it’s 1349.
It isn’t safe to go shopping for Frank’s birthday*, but from home you could…
sleep in late.
… sit home and contemplate why only the bestest people have birthdays on June 4th…
My sister has a birthday in June 4.
Your theory has hereby been debunked.
Ignore it like you do each year but THIS time with an excuse!
…..nuke the moon
…toast him generously, over and over.
Shed a tear for an America that is not able to properly celebrate its greatest…okay, one of its top ten…er, uh, one of its recognized practitioners of parody.