This one is admittedly a challenge. Good luck, Mr. Phelps..
Straight Line of the Day: Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
When an atom absorbs or releases energy via the quantum leap of an electron, it becomes heavier or lighter. This can be explained by Einstein’s theory of relativity (E = mc2). However, the effect is minuscule for a single atom. Nevertheless, the team of Klaus Blaum and Sergey Eliseev at the Max Planck Institute for Nuclear Physics has successfully measured this infinitesimal change in the mass of individual atoms for the first time.
Astonishing, but true: If you wind a mechanical watch, it becomes heavier.
The same thing happens when you charge your smartphone.
…
However, this effect is so small that it completely eludes our everyday experience. A conventional balance would not be able to detect it.
But at the Max Planck Institute for Nuclear Physics in Heidelberg, there is a balance that can: Pentatrap. It can measure the minuscule change in mass of a single atom when an electron absorbs or releases energy via a quantum jump, thus opening a new world for precision physics.— Successfully Measuring Infinitesimal Change in Mass of Individual Atoms for the First Time
Max Planck Society via Phys.org / May 7, 2020
…why can’t the determine the mass of Michael Moore?
… If they ever figure it out the units they should use is the Slug.
What my guess of “Infinity” was wrong?
…can they tell us WTF is going on with Woopie’s hair?
It’s science, not magic.
…they can tell us if it’s Basil or Basil.
…they CAN say it’s aliens!
Straight Line of the Day: Scientists Can Now Measure Changes in the Mass of Atoms. If They Can Do That…
they should be able to predict the weather and/or climate.
Scientists Can Now Measure Changes in the Mass of Atoms. If They Can Do That…
why can’t they put a man on the Moon?
“Back”
Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
they can rule the world!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
It’s Pinky. It’s Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.
…they’ll work on figuring out proper tipping etiquette.
Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
finally find where racism stops.
Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
they can find out why my concert T shirts don’t fit anymore.
Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
they can stop asking for government funding.
Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
they can lecture them on proper social distancing.
Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
…they can determine the location of a quark.
Why-a-quark?
No, no, no, where’s the quark.
We already know how to do that. Just deploy a bunch of ducks, and they’ll announce every quark they can find.
It’ll be in the last place they look.
They should start there.
Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
cure male pattern baldness. NOW!
Or at least make the pattern more artistic.
Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
….they can finally name the “ion to be named later” from the 1974 Braves/Royals trade.
Too soon for that. But when you find out, HOO BOY will you be surprised!
Was it Ion Kennedy?
… they’ll soon figure out more ways to cause mass changes in atoms, which will culminate in the most important application for nuclear technology imaginable: Atomic Weight Watchers.
Still not sensitive enough to detect ‘systemic racism’ in America.
Other than Democrats, of course.
… drugs are bad, mmmmkay?
Straight Line of the Day: Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
…the next breakthrough is measuring the integrity of a congressman.
Unpossible…
Straight Line of the Day: Scientists can now measure changes in the mass of atoms. If they can do that…
…they can finally accurately measure the covid19 threat level.
…finally and scientifically, through direct measurement and observation, calculate the velocity of a swallow, both African AND European, accounting for both laden and unladen circumstances.
What about migratory patterns?
…the can develop a way out to make sure that damn cat in Schrodinger’s box never comes out alive.
Oooh, you are so dead man, box or no box.
Damncat! Where are you?
And y’all busted on me for my (intentional) use of Karen’s “loosers”. I used the imperfect nominative, NOT a proper noun.
Sheesh… you’d think I did that on purpose….😁
ACM! All Cats Matter!
… they can accurately weigh a witch without drowning one in the process…
But we already know that witches weigh the same as ducks.
I’ve known some pretty fat ducks…
I’ve known some pretty fat witches.
Did they call you “Newt”?
Oh, snap!
You know I always wondered about that…
…measure the combined weight of AOC’s and Joe Biden’s brains.
This is exactly why imaginary numbers have already been invented.
They have? Damn, there goes that marketing idea.
….they can then take a look at the ass of madams.
…put Joe Biden’s brain on the edge of a razor and see that it looks just like a pea rolling down a four…. lane…. highway.
They can FINALLY find the line that separates the hot from the cold on the handle of my shower
Preach it brother!
Scientists Can Now Measure Changes in the Mass of Atoms. If They Can Do That…
… they could certainly explain how Paul Krugman won a Nobel Prize for Economics when no such prize exists, at least on this planet.
…”I can retire”- One of the Pope’s more confused atoms.
…our cancel culture can better schedule summer vacations.
…Otto can time his Funky Chicken, slow dance partners at the discotheque to his advantage.