Cigna’s Critical Race Theory Training: Don’t Say “Brown Bag Lunch” and Be Mindful of “Religious Privilege”
Washington Examiner | 3/19/2021 | Joseph Simonson

Employees say they are pressured to comply with “inclusive language” outlines that suggest replacing terms like “Brown Bag Lunch” with “lunch-and-learn” or “grab ‘n’ go.”

A bunch of sacks felt insulted? Sounds about accurate.

“No!! You used the word brown!!!11!!”

You’re kidding me, right?

. . . And the #MeToo crowd doesn’t mind you suggesting “grab ‘n’ go” as a replacment?

Other suggestions include avoiding the phrase “No can do” and replacing it with “unavailable.”

The two phrases don’t mean the same thing.

Can’t offend that no-can-do crowd, I guess. Remember to blacklist Hall & Oates, by the way. And to “cancel” those who use the word “blacklist” instead of “cancel.”

Employees are told to avoid gendered descriptions

They’ve invented fifty-seven gender descriptions and you can’t use them?

of romantic partners

“Hey, Mike, let me describe my romantic partner to you …”

“Fine with me.”

“… with a non-gendered description.”

“No. Stand over there, away from me.”

or family members,

“Well, how about my family members, then?”

“No. Farther.”

and not to use “Hip Hip Hooray” [it should be replaced by “Hooray!” or “Yay!”] at birthday parties, so others feel included.

“Hip” replacement therapy for those who just aren’t hip.

Microaggressions listed include questions such as “Do you even know what Facebook is?”

Well, how do you find out if people do?

What about “Do you even know what the Tenth Amendment is?” or “Do you even know where my left sock went?”

and “Are you a nurse?”

Listen, if I’ve been sitting alone in a paper gown in a cold examining room for over an hour, that’ll be the first thing out of my mouth to the next person I see, Cigna, and it won’t be a microagression, either!