Canadian woman becomes first person diagnosed as suffering from ‘climate change’
The Hill | November 8, 2021 | Brooke MigdonA Canadian woman could be the first patient to be diagnosed as suffering from “climate change” after doctors said heatwaves and poor air quality brought on acute breathing problems.
Kyle Merritt, an emergency room doctor in Nelson, British Columbia who was responsible for the diagnosis, told Glacier Media that it was the first time in a decade he had determined a patient’s cause of suffering to be climate change.
“If we’re not looking at the underlying cause, and we’re just treating the symptoms, we’re just gonna keep falling further and further behind,” he said.
Merritt added that the patient, who is in her 70s, was diagnosed in the summer shortly after a heatwave in June sent temperatures soaring past 121 degrees Fahrenheit.
Straight Line of the Day: If you’ve been diagnosed with climate change…
Take 2 frosty barley pops and call me in the morning.
If you’ve been diagnosed with climate change…
Rx: Cooking large quantities of red meat on a charcoal grill
Followed by large quantities of cold beer to wash it all down!
Followed by? More like before, during and after…
…make sure it isn’t covid by asking Fauci then schedule a consultation with Al Gore for further instruction.
. . . move to Antarctica. The climate there never changes.
“If you’ve been diagnosed with climate change…”
…your doctor is a quack.
Call Greta.
How Dare You!
“If you’ve been diagnosed with climate change…”
…it’s time to find a new vet.
Maybe ivermectin will work on this.
Stop attending summits.
You should probably not use a doctor whose diploma is signed in crayon.
Pay the bill with carbon offsets.
“If you’ve been diagnosed with climate change…”
Suck it up! Change is gooood! Admit that this is your 51st alien visit
. . . stop using doctors who are guest starring on Impractical Jokers
The “gist” of the problem is that you must see your optometrist because the sign you read as oncologist actually says climatologist
… immediately apply for remediation funding from the UN…
… sue anyone who has ever made a climate-related movie or television show for violating your HIPAA rights…
Just “Identify” as a climatesexual. Seems to work with everything else lately.
That there is brilliant. Now I have to break it to my wife…
Game over man, game over!
…you’re just a little under the weather.
I used to climb at change.
Then I moved my piggy bank off the top shelf.
If you’ve been diagnosed with climate change…
…no matter what symptom you might have will support the diagnosis.
If you’ve been diagnosed with climate change…
… it’s a mental disorder. There is not a damn thing you can do about it!
The real question is, who’s mental disorder is it? Yours, or you doctor’s?
If you’ve been diagnosed with climate change…
…. you probably should’ve gone on a diet when you noticed the meatballs in orbit just out of arms reach.
…it may be time to trim the “forest” to reduce the “humidity”
We have a job for you at the USPS.
…and you’re in you seventies, congratulations, we only have twenty years to save you.
You may have assumed room temperature already.
If you’ve been diagnosed with climate change…
…. you put de lime in de coconut an drink it all up!
Now, let me get this straight – you take the lime and the coconut and put them both together… you put the lime in the coconut, and then you’ll feel better?
You got it! ~ Dr. Fauci
… you gotta call in Bill Nye, the Science Guy…
Congress has been, and they’re reining men.
Start living in a van… down by the river.