Straight Line of the Day: More “Pack-Up” Lines (pick-up lines that don’t work): …

Courtesy of FormerHostage:

Ignoring the fact that there are already strict safety protocols that were ignored by Baldwin and company, Hollywood elites are calling for replacing handguns with post-production CGI.

Straight Line of the Day: What are some of the other suggestions our social betters are making to improve movies?

…  Instead of using prop weapons, actors will instead point their finger while saying “pew, pew, pew”

…  Vehicles will no longer be used for car chase scenes which will now consist of forced perspective shots of RC cars interspaced with closeups of actors sitting in parked cars making vroom vroom noises.

Psaki: ‘Unfair and Absurd’ To Say Companies Would Raise Prices in Response to Tax Increases

Freebeacon.com / Sept. 28, 2021

White House press secretary Jen Psaki on Monday defended House Democrats’ tax plan in the face of criticism that the legislation would see taxes and consumer prices rise for many Americans. Psaki insisted President Joe Biden is committed to keeping taxes the same for anyone making less than $400,000 a year, and she called it “absurd” that companies would raise consumer prices in response to higher taxes.

“There are some … who argue that, in the past, companies have passed on these costs to consumers,” Psaki said. “We feel that that’s unfair and absurd, and the American people would not stand for that.”

A number of economic studies have found that consumers bear approximately 31 percent of the cost of corporate tax increases through higher prices on consumer products.

Straight Line of the Day: Psaki and AOC know Democratic economic principles, like…

Not Bright: Florida Man Attempts To Trade-In Stolen Car To The Dealership He Stole It From
The Free Press (Tampa) | September 26, 2021 | Jake Grissom

A Florida man landed behind bars after attempting to trade in a car to the same dealership he stole it from, police said.

Timothy Wolfe, 50, is facing charges of grand theft of a motor vehicle, dealing in stolen property, criminal mischief, and petit theft, according to the Lake City Police Department.

Early last week, Lake City police responded to a report of a stolen vehicle at a Chrysler Dodge Jeep dealership.

According to investigators, employees told officers that Wolfe was trying to trade in his vehicle for a new ride but when a VIN search was performed, Wolfe’s trade-in wasn’t his after all.

The car was stolen was the same dealer lot a few days earlier and Wolfe found himself in an awkward situation.

Wolfe, 50, admitted to police that he stole the vehicle, police said, and the crime was captured on the dealer’s surveillance video system.

Wolfe was arrested on charges including grand theft of a motor vehicle and criminal mischief and booked into the Columbia County Detention Center.

Straight Line of the Day: Another crime so crazy it just might work would be…

German Parking Garage Unveils Dedicated Spaces For LGBTQ And Migrant Drivers
Nation & State | 10-7-2021

The three “diversity” parking spaces were put up in an underground car park in Hanau city centre, according to the Daily Mail.

The aim of the spots was to “help people who feel a special need for protection,” according to Thomas Morlock, Chairman of the Supervisory Board of the lot.

Morlock told the Daily Mail the spaces were built to set a “conspicuously colourful symbol for diversity and tolerance”.

He said they “are not necessarily meant” to be used by a “separate group of people”.

And of course, as the Daily Mail puts it, the kicker:

“It is not immediately clear how the authorities intend to monitor whether people who park in the spaces are in fact part of the LGBTQ community or migrants…”

Straight Line of the Day: A German parking garage has dedicated spaces for LGBTQ and migrant drivers. This will help because…