A couple of guys around the water cooler were joking about the plebe that stuck his head in our active particle accelerator. Well, it got me thinkin’, and when no one was looking I put in my own. For the briefest of moments I had the most massive boson on the planet. Talk about an ego boost.
Unfortunately for me, my new “god particle” seems to intimidate rather than impress. Any suggestions on how to stop all the giggling over it?
The Man Who Put His Head Inside A Particle Accelerator While It Was Switched On iflscience.com | 22 APR 2021 | James Felton
Particle accelerators are machines that propel charged particles at incredible speeds, generally to collide with other particles. It’s highly advisable that the particles the high-speed particles collide with should not be part of your head, as one man learned the hard way.
On July 13, 1978, particle physicist Anatoli Bugorski was working his job at the U-70 synchrotron, the largest particle accelerator in the Soviet Union. The 36-year-old was inspecting a piece of equipment that had malfunctioned when the accident happened. Unbeknownst to him, several safety mechanisms had also failed, meaning that when he leaned over to get a good look at his task, a proton beam shot through the back of his head at close to the speed of light.
Or at least, closer to the speed of light than you’d like a proton beam to be traveling at when it shoots clean through your face.
At first, he felt no pain. He knew what had happened, as he had seen a light “brighter than a thousand Suns,” as well as the gravity of the situation. At this point, he didn’t tell a soul, and merely completed his day’s work before heading home and waited for the inevitable to happen.
… “Some chick with glasses noticed my pocket protector and asked about my pocket, which I took to mean, you know, one of the ones in my PANTS! {snort}”
In the Ornithology lab the only station available for work on my study of farm fowl was to the left of one seabird study and another seabird study. I had no choice but to insert my cockerel between two boobys.
…I’m not sayin I was involved in a failed abduction by aliens but I was involved in a failed abduction by aliens.
Maybe they just want you to think it failed.
Now I think about it I am missing about 4 hours. Weird.
I remember Scientific American.. Used to be some sort of magazine about …. Science. Used to be.
… I now identify as… someone who doesn’t believe anything you publish…
… I don’t subscribe to cultic religious publications like yours any longer…
A couple of guys around the water cooler were joking about the plebe that stuck his head in our active particle accelerator. Well, it got me thinkin’, and when no one was looking I put in my own. For the briefest of moments I had the most massive boson on the planet. Talk about an ego boost.
Unfortunately for me, my new “god particle” seems to intimidate rather than impress. Any suggestions on how to stop all the giggling over it?
Tell ’em it can be up, down, strange, top, bottom, or have charm.
That’ll get the ladies with glasses among them to stop giggling, anyway.
MMMMmmmmmmm. . . . . chicks with glasses in white blouses . . . . not giggling . . . .
The Man Who Put His Head Inside A Particle Accelerator While It Was Switched On
iflscience.com | 22 APR 2021 | James Felton
Particle accelerators are machines that propel charged particles at incredible speeds, generally to collide with other particles. It’s highly advisable that the particles the high-speed particles collide with should not be part of your head, as one man learned the hard way.
On July 13, 1978, particle physicist Anatoli Bugorski was working his job at the U-70 synchrotron, the largest particle accelerator in the Soviet Union. The 36-year-old was inspecting a piece of equipment that had malfunctioned when the accident happened. Unbeknownst to him, several safety mechanisms had also failed, meaning that when he leaned over to get a good look at his task, a proton beam shot through the back of his head at close to the speed of light.
Or at least, closer to the speed of light than you’d like a proton beam to be traveling at when it shoots clean through your face.
At first, he felt no pain. He knew what had happened, as he had seen a light “brighter than a thousand Suns,” as well as the gravity of the situation. At this point, he didn’t tell a soul, and merely completed his day’s work before heading home and waited for the inevitable to happen.
…he mutated into the Vicious Chicken of Bristol
… “Some chick with glasses noticed my pocket protector and asked about my pocket, which I took to mean, you know, one of the ones in my PANTS! {snort}”
Is that a pocket in your pocket or are you just quantumly indeterminate?
Smartest guy in the world comes up with worst pick-up line ever.
“Want to see what’s behind my zipper, Miss SchroeDING-DING-DINGer?”
Maybe it isn’t dead…
Heh {snort} {snort}
…just mostly dead… Maybe you need some miracle manx pills.
Or a magnetic hat!
I think you’ll better consider a ferrite choke. Last thing you want is stray induction turning your zipper into a zapper.
Six Million Dollar (Bionic) Man: Z-Z-Z-A-P!
Girl: “What the hell was that?”
“Don’t choke the ferrite.”
“Dear Scientific American… I Never Thought This Could Happen To Me, But” …
I believe tin foil hat wearing guys on the internet more than I believe anything you publish.
…I was abducted by aliens for @nal probe testing, but the @nal probe was labelled with “Made in China.”
In the Ornithology lab the only station available for work on my study of farm fowl was to the left of one seabird study and another seabird study. I had no choice but to insert my cockerel between two boobys.
…sounds like a tern for the worst.
Huffin’ and Puffin. Went on to study the tits.
Just avoid the Sapsucker and Swallow