Nearly 96% of students at this S.F. school are chronically absent. His job: get them back to class
San Francisco Chronicle | April 5, 2024 | Connor Letournau… With the highest chronic absenteeism rate in the district at almost 96%, Ida B. Wells [High School] faces huge challenges just to get teens in class. …
Of the 250 students who attended Ida B. Wells last year, 239 were deemed “chronically absent” because they missed at least 10% of school days. Many students went weeks or even months at a time without stepping onto the one-building campus in the Western Addition. This past winter, overall attendance dipped below 50%.
… Hire Barbara Billingsley as spokeswoman: “Chump don’ wan’ no hep, chump don’ get no hep.”
… teach the administrators the same math they’ve been requiring the students to learn – soon they’ll be able to distort real numbers at will, just like California legislators do…
One Solution to 96% School Absenteeism: …
Just pass ’em and move on. Don’t teach ’em much anyway.
One Solution to 96% School Absenteeism…. One solution, two belts. One for their backside, one to keep their pants up.
… help them to crack the top ten percent in attendance by using real crack…
… lower the attendance standards until you get the results you desire…
Move the school to Chinatown.
Forget it, Jake. It’s San Francisco.
Pay them $20 an hour to show up, call it the California attendance minimum wage.
Start earlier in the morning, mandate uniforms & joining at least one club, and more poetry memorization.
That’ll take care of the last 4%!
Put the parents in jail if they don’t attend.
Oh wait…
… ask the Legislature for more funding to reach out to these misunderstood, otherwise excellent students. After all, it’s “for the children” (as long as you don’t notice all the skimming for the union membership) …