Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
… to abolish government email servers and Country Music.
…two dogs in every pot. Breed of dog depends on past political money contributions.
. . . banning all cookies except those containing walnuts (the walnut growers have a very strong lobby).
. . . FCC regulations that throttle Internet streams carrying Fox News to 2400 kbps.
. . . requirement that all federal employees pray while facing Mecca six times a day.
. . . declare the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts, and 4H terrorist organizations.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
the letter ‘M’ stricken from the English language.
2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce cheese, pickles and onions on a sesame bun.
All golf courses PAR will be whatever he shoots that day plus 5.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
a random concatenation of words and phrases which will mean whatever the heck he wants it to mean, when he wants it to mean something.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
Halle Berry will be finishing up the role of First Lady for the next two years.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
all your money belong us.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
the Narwhal song to replace the National Anthem.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
replacing Joe Biden with Folger’s crystals. Let’s see if the country notices the difference.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
To change his name to Frank Underwood.
…a hamburger today, for which he will gladly pay you next Tuesday.
…all tax payments will be submitted directly to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be …
… just as unconstitutional as the last one.
You shall have no other gods before Me.
…more wishes.
…to have Bohner cut down the largest tree in the forest wiiiiith….a herring! (Nee)
disbanding the usa
CHANGE THE NAME TO > MEXICAN STATES OF OBAMARAMA<
SINCE THE EUNUCHS IN THE GOP WILL LET THE TYRANT GET
AWAY WITH ANYTHING.!
…a ban of all bullets. And bullet points not made up by his propaganda unit. And any leftovers from that bull that the Clampetts et.
…to outlaw gun barrel holes.
…to allow only free range chickens and taxation.
…to order all government functions begin with an invocation of surrender or a ceding of sovereignty to a dictatorial power.
a suspension of elections until the crisis has passed.
Obama gently buffs his magic lamp of executive orders …. “Oh master of the lamp, your wish is my command!” says the hermaphroditic and retarded Siamese Twin duo named Boehner-McConnell. “What is thy wish?”
Obama’s on top of his game and begins reading from the short list of stuff he wants today: “I want a new golf course. The old one is always hiding my golf balls. And I want a thousand more wishes. And my wife’s ass is too big; why can’t you do anything about that? Look, the point of all this magic wish business is so I can be happy, right? Well, I don’t like the Constitution; it’s stupid and old. I think they wrote it in Hebrew or Aramaic or something. It’s as old as punch cards, DOS, and Palm Pilots. Also I want you to get rid of words that start with ‘B’. Bibles, Bowling, Bibi, Bitter-Clingers, Benghazi. You know, stuff that stupid people think are important.”
A few minutes of intense skull-wrenching thought ensue as Obama really burns through the few synapses left intact after his stoner high school and college years and then…
“Okay, that’s enough work for today. It’s tee time in less than an hour.”
“Yesss mathhhter… ” says the retarded hermaphroditic Siamese twin named Boehner-McConnell in its best Igor-inspired fawning tone of eager obsequious toadying.
…Pax Obama.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
Reggie Love will be finishing up the role of First Lady for the next two years.
… entitled “The Bromancipation Proclamation.” Spoiler alert: it’s kind of gay.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
the United States will henceforth be the land of OZ. “If I were king of the forest…..”
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
the cancellation of “March Madness” and the use of his brackets for the “Official results”.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
DON’T RUSH HIM! Man’s gotta lot on his plate right now. He’ll get around to enlightening the masses soon enough. Now go back to watching the Jodie Arias trial.
…to open all Department of Motor Vehicle offices 24 hours a day, staffed with bilingual clerks to facilitate the identification needs of the shadow people and their cousins.
…To eliminate SCOTUS if they rule against Obamacare.
…To make all “certificate of live birth”s valid proof of whatever the parent claims is true.
…Annual I.R.S. audits for all Fox News anchors
…Federal Holidays for all Muslim religious holidays.
…”Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” only applies only to immigrants’ legal status in the U.S.
… called “The Art of Waaaaah” — A.K.A “The Tzu-premacy Clause.”
In it, he will demonstrate the impotence of “No”-ing your enemy.
President Obama announced his next executive order will be…
…to abolish presidential term limits and declare himself king of these 57 states.
…challenged in court
…BOHICA
…Executive Order 66. I have a bad feeling about this…
…signed into law before we find out what’s in it.
….”America the Beautiful” shall now, heretofore, hence, going forward, backing up, etc., be deemed as “America the Dutiful”. I, Barack Hussein Oblama do decree as retroactive to Jan 2009.
Change the National Anthem to OBAMA, sung to the tune of BINGO.
“There was a country had a KING, and OBAMA was his name-oh…. O-B-A-M-A, O-B-A-M-A, O-B-A-M-A and OBAMA was his name-oh”
You know you want to sing it…. and now that tune will be stuck in your head all day…….
Declare himself as the Greatest President in the History of Everything.
“Effective immediately, all pronoun references to Our Glorious Leader, Me, shall be capitalized – you know, like, uh…um…what’s that book…oh, yeah, The Bible. Go, Me!”
A special new Fairness Tax: if your ancestry is at least 25% Caucasian – tax! (How’s THAT not fair??)
I hope you like my next number; I call it, “The Enabling Act”
‘The Audacity of Hope’ and ‘Dreams From My Father’ shall replace the Bible in all Christian Churches.
Effective Immediately, all family dogs must maintain a minimum body fat index of 20%.
In the interests of fairness, any and all restrictions on the purchase of all firearms are hereby lifted. Oh, and all guns now cost exactly the same: one million dollars! Have fun!
The president’s name shall always be spoken as “Barack Obama”; any person who says “Barack Hussein Obama” shall receive 100 lashes.
“Oh, to heck with it: effective immediately, my word is law. Ha ha!”
The authority of Eric Holder shall be second only to mine; just think of him as a black Heinrich Himmler. Best watch your step, whitey.
All clothing stores must carry burkas and hijabs, and all retail outlets must carry ski masks and scimitars.