[High Praise! to Time]
Find Out What Your Name Would Be if You Were Born Today
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Call me Jim.
Sex: Male/Female
What about all the other sexes? TIME is TRANSPHOBIC!!111!!11!!1!!!!
(I learned a new word from a “news” story further down the page so I just had to use it.)
It says my name would be Jackson if I was born today, I’m glad I wasn’t born today.
Srsly, only two gender choices? And my name would be “Ariel,” which of course is a male spirit in Shakespeare’s The Tempest, and a man mentioned in the Old Testament – still, Disney named a female mermaid “Ariel,” so I guess it’s a good name for a time of fluid gender identities (and, in the case of mermaids who grow legs, fluid species identities).
I have never liked my name, now I’m kinda grateful it wasn’t so very much worse. Depending on the decade, I coulda been Letha, Alta, Freda or Tori. Gack.
@3: I think “CrabbyOldBat” is a fine name. You know, I’ve always been so impressed with it that I’ve been thinking of changing mine to something like:
“GrouchyOldBastard”
“CrankyOldGeezer”
“OldSpermDude”
Of course, for bugging Frank about his lack of blogging, he’d prolly assign me a name like:
“PainInTheAss”
“PotatoLicker”
“NothinButTrouble”
“NagNagNagNag”
However, there’s absolutely no way I’m going back to the two nicknames I was given as a toddler:
“Two Gun Pete With The Smelly Feet”
“Fruitcake” (Apparently, there was a time when I loved it.)
GREYSON? Bleeccccch — what is the matter with parents nowadays?
Mxyztplk! Good thing I was born yesterday.
I think I come out ahead on this one. My boring given name of “Mark” becomes “Ethan” if born today. I could live with that. Not that I would want to live as a man born today…
Well, as I suspected, James was the most popular name for boys in the 1950s, when I was born; there were a lot of us in every classroom that I sat in. So I guess that I’d be Noah today.