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Archive of entries posted on 14th May 2015
Taking a Stand
New York’s City Council is considering whether to decriminalize some non-violent crimes like drinking in public.
Must need the jail space for real criminals, like smokers, salters, and popcorn-butterers.
If Liberals Protested Honestly
Link of the Day: Liberalism – Self-Parodying Feature Activated
[High Praise! to Hot Air]
There’s several links of background to this story that are giggle-worthy (all of which can be found here), and I encourage your perusal.
An over-brief summary (just enough to enjoy the song), is that a not-liberal-enough feminist came to the Oberlin College campus and said some things in defense of men, and the way-too-liberal feminists on campus reacted like she had just napalmed the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm.
Thus inspiring this song – which implies that it’s from the Oberlin College Choir, but is probably just by a random (and clever) satirist.
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #42,686)
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Zoo Boomerangs Noodles Funeral Dishwasher Twitter Congress
[zoo]
ME: Haha…this one's face!
WIFE: Tha-
M [bangs on glass]
W: Stop it
M [pulls funny face]
W [elbows me aside] So sorry, 2 tickets pls
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) May 7, 2015
The guy who discovered boomerangs must have been terrified
— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) May 8, 2015
ME: WHY IS MY PLATE COVERED IN HOT WET MONSTER WORMS
DATE: How do you not know what noodles are?
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) May 10, 2015
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" are basically interchangeable unless you're at a funeral.
— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) May 10, 2015
Some people say you should rinse your plates before putting them in the dishwasher. I say HAVE HUMANS ACHIEVED NOTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!
— Joe Hildebrand (@Joe_Hildebrand) May 10, 2015
My cat is aimlessly walking around the house and sporadically meowing angrily at nothing in particular like she's a metaphor for Twitter.
— Twitnter Is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 12, 2015
Except for Republicans and Democrats, the President is getting along beautifully with Congress.
— Pat Sajak (@patsajak) May 12, 2015
It’s Not All Ham and Plaques
John Kerry told an audience of young people that being Secretary of State is “the best job in the world”.
Worst job: trying to call the Secretary of State from a Libyan consulate.
Obama Warned Us – Birthright
“No matter who you are, no matter where you live, our parks … are your birthright as Americans.” — President Obama #FindYourPark
“Here’s your mess of pottage. Now beat it.”
Straight Line of the Day: A New Device Could Replace Doctors. It’s…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A new device could replace doctors. It’s…
Random Thoughts: Blaming Obama and Trains
There’s a lengthy review of my novel Superego at the SF magazine Perihelion.
Have some of you not bought my novel yet? Because that’s just weird.
The football throw guy cheated! He couldn’t throw the football as good as he throwed it!
How is all this police stuff news to everyone? If you ever watched an episode of Cops, they randomly murder like two people in each one.
I don’t follow as many women as men on Twitter, but in real life I stare at women more than men if that counts for anything.
Good way to end my 4yo’s questions and not look like bad guy:
“Why can’t I have ice cream for breakfast?”
“Because of a law President Obama passed.”
I keep confusing Liberty Mutual with the robot insurance people.
I think it would be really symbolic of our times if we increased funding for trains and took it out of space exploration.
Could Google make a self-driving train? Sounds a million times easier than a self-driving car.
I think we should just keep invading Iraq until we get it right.
Cause and Cure
A new study claims that 75% of extremely hot days are caused by man-made global warming.
100% of which can be cured by man-made air conditioners.