Straight Line of the Day: During Her Speech to Graduates in Chicago, Michelle Obama Said Her Biggest Personal Struggle…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

During her speech to graduates in Chicago, Michelle Obama said her biggest personal struggle…

21 Comments

  1. …was withholding any sense of pride in America until they elected her husband president…

    …was refraining from twerking during the inauguration…

    …was keeping herself from having Valerie Jarrett “dealt with”.

  2. During her speech to graduates in Chicago, Michelle Obama said her biggest personal struggle…

    was whether to call it a “Jihad” or not.

    restraining her Klingon genes.

    asking the military to eliminate all non-minorities.

    cake or pie. She decided on both.

  3. . . . was finding the any key on her computer’s keyboard

    . . . has been keeping a straight face during her husband’s speeches

    . . . has been pretending that she actually likes spinach, brussels sprouts, and cauliflower

  4. During her speech to graduates in Chicago, Michelle Obama said her biggest personal struggle…

    restraining herself from jumping off this stage and devouring their very souls.

    paper or plastic.

    is it easier to blame liberal hypocrisy or just plain ol’ stupidity for her condition.

    restraining herself from punching a Hippy after reading Frank’s book.

  5. During her speech to graduates in Chicago, Michelle Obama said her biggest personal struggle…

    … is the guilt of constantly throwing away taxpayer money on endless vacations (ha ha like that’s going to happen)

    … was having to discuss with Hillary how to navigate a loveless marriage of political convenience.

  6. During her speech to graduates in Chicago, Michelle Obama said her biggest personal struggle…

    …was whatever the teleprompters told her it was.

    …was to refrain from joining in the Ferguson and Baltimore riots.

    …will not stop her from being the first “true” black potus

    …trying to figure out Anonymous’ cookie recipe

  7. …is justifying that her appearance costs taxpayers more than most of them will pay in income taxes their entire lives.

    …is pronouncing words that begin with ST, like sthhhrruggull.

    …admitting that Rachel Dolezal is twice the black leader that Obama is while being 50% whiter.

    …is keeping Barry from dressing up as Bruce Jenner, in public.

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