The New York Times offers this peculiarly eclectic list:
The cop who “neutralized the threat” in Roseburg would likely disagree with #25.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Where’s the part about waiting for his wife to get home from her date to tell him about how good “Gustavo” is in bed?
This guy’s modern man sounds a lot like a woman.
The New York Times?
We’re gonna have to shut you down!
(Cookies and a login? Pffft.)
So….the modern “man” is a limp wristed homo? That’s news to the 95% who aren’t.
The thing that stood out to me was 12:
So, the “modern man” thinks planning 5 minutes into the future is worth acclaim?
I suspect the author included this as a passive-aggressive jab at a roommate of his who keeps interrupting his melon-balling with demands for soap.
I think we should come with our own list of “ways to be a modern man.”
Okay, who will start?
I think the women should start the list….
Women?
Are there any women here?
Hello?
The modern man cooks his own bacon, because honestly that gal never can get just the right combination of crispy and chewy. He then lets the little woman make sammiches for both of them from the perfectly cooked bacon. ~~~~
Psst… hey, antagonist in #16 — #25 lives in a small city in Illinois with his wife and three kids.
16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away…….
That’s what happens when the modern “man” doesn’t have a gun, now his wife is living on welfare because the intruder killed him.
@7 Crabby: You reminded me of the three domestic tests for a modern man and his woman: (1) meat cookin’; (2) sammich makin’; and (3) dishwasher loadin’. I’ve only known two women in my life who knew how to load a dishwasher for proper hydrodynamic performance.
That article was fisked at Monster Hunter Nation recently. Here’s the link:
http://monsterhunternation.com/2015/10/02/fisking-the-new-york-times-modern-man/
Lots of swears there though, so be careful.
@Jimmy #10: Meat cookin’ is an important skill, but I maintain that it is OK for a woman to be second to her man in cooking (1) bacon, and (2) BBQ. Possibly also (3) chili, but that is not strictly “meat cookin’.” Other ingredients are involved.
Crabby,
I agree but chili is mostly “meat cookin”. You don’t use any beans… do you?
Every time I try to do most of the things on that list, my p3nis gets in the way.
Who the hell uses bar soap??? Bar soap is one of the most unnecessarily messy outdated personal hygiene products in existence. Liquid soap is cleaner, doesn’t leave goop under itself you have to clean, and doesn’t attract hair. Get with the times, hipsters.
@12 Crabby: I agree. A modern man loves to cook as he probably hung around his Mom in his youth, watching and tasting everything (hungry boy syndrome). However, he also knows that when the women are in the kitchen, get the frack out.
I do have a melon baller, and have actutually used it for its intended purpose. That was so long ago I can’t remember any details. Usually it gets used as a coffee stirrer when I can’t find a spoon.