We’ll get back to the funneh in a bit. First, some tech geek stuff.

We’ve had questions and discussions from time to time in comments about how to do certain formatting things. Somebody wants to include an image, or a video, or maybe just format some text.

If you know HTML, then you don’t really have many questions, apart from “Is this tag or that tag supported?” But, we use a thing called BBCode to allow for certain HTML functionality to be implemented, including some HTML tags that aren’t generally supported by WordPress.

Now, you may want to know why tags aren’t allowed. Well, it’s actually a security issue. It’s possible to use tags to include stuff we don’t want, from redirection to other sites, to full-on defacement of the site. Some tags are obvious, such as the <SCRIPT> tag, but what about other tags? Turns out some really smart jackasses have figured out how to do stuff like that in ways you wouldn’t think about.

The solution is to use an alternate tag system. And that’s where BBCode comes in. It’s an alternative tag system that allows comments to include some HTML. It supports some of the same HTML tags supported by WordPress, but it also allows some more.

Bold: [b]bold[/b]
Bold: bold

Italics: [i]italics[/i]
Italics: italics

Underline: [u]underline[/u]
Underline: underline

URL: [url]https://wordpress.org/[/url]
URL: https://wordpress.org/

Image: [img]https://s.w.org/style/images/codeispoetry.png[/img]
Image:

Image: [img=Code is Poetry]https://s.w.org/style/images/codeispoetry.png[/img]
Image:

Quote: [quote]Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit,[/quote]
Quote:

Quote: [quote=NAME]Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet[/quote]
Quote:

Quote: [quote=”NAME”]Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet[/quote]
Quote:

Quote: [quote author=NAME]Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet[/quote]
Quote:

Quote: [quote author=”NAME”]Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet[/quote]
Quote:

Color: [color=”ff0000″]hex red[/color]
Color: hex red

Color: [color=#ff0000]hex red again[/color]
Color: hex red again

Strikeout: [s]striked this out[/s]
Strikeout: striked this out

Center Text: [center]center me[/center]
Center Text:

Computer code: [code]function HelloWorld($greet = ‘World’) { return ‘Hello ‘.$greet } [/code]
Computer code: function HelloWorld($greet = 'World') { return 'Hello '.$greet }

Font size: [size=10]10px font size[/size]
Font size: 10px font size

Ordered lists: [ol][li]Item one[/li][li]Item two[/li][/ol]
Ordered lists:

1. Item one
[li]Item two[/li]

Unordered lists: [ul][li]Item one[/li][li]Item two[/li][/ul]
Unordered lists:

• Item one
[li]Item two[/li]

Named Spoiler: [spoiler=two plus two]four[/spoiler]
Named Spoiler:

Unnamed Spoiler: [spoiler]Boo![/spoiler]
Unnamed Spoiler:

So, if you were wanting to use any of the stuff listed above, now you know that you can. Whether or not you should is a totally different question.

Oh, and there may be some others that work. There’s also something called WordPress Shortcode, which is similar. Maybe I’ll talk about those some day. But these are the BBCode items that work here. And, you can probably use them on other places, not just WordPress blogs.

Okay, that’s all. There’ll be some funny stuff posted soon, I’m sure.

The IMAO Technical Team at work

Some of you — only a few — have received password reset emails. And that’s okay. Really, it’s okay.

Here’s the background. Some time back, IMAO had what was essentially Open Enrollment for being a subscriber, and the ability to login and comment. We didn’t keep that, since you can use WordPress, Google, Twitter, or Facebook accounts to log in. Well, sometimes Safari is a problem, but most browsers work just fine. So, an actual IMAO account isn’t really necessary.

We haven’t closed the accounts of those that created one way back when. We might. But we haven’t.

Anyway, today, as part of a security update, we forced a reset of everyone’s password. Everyones. Mine. Harvey’s. Frank’s. Everyone had to do a password reset. And, if you have an old IMAO account, you probably got an email telling you that.

So, if you did, it’s okay. Really, it’s okay. You can use your new IMAO password, if you have one. Or, you can connect with your Google account, Twitter account, or Facebook account to log in to comment. Or just leave an email address and name without logging in.

Now, back to the funneh.

Got a little housecleaning to do. And I have a request if you’re a blogger who has IMAO in your blogroll: Update our link or feed.

Here’s the background… back in 2017, IMAO added HTTPS protocol. That meant you could access IMAO securely at https://www.imao.us/

Now, we didn’t do anything to enforce that. By that I mean you could still type in HTTP and get to the blog, but if you typed HTTPS then you’d get to the blog securely.

Recently, though, we began forcing HTTPS. That means that if you type HTTP, or click a bookmark or link with HTTP, you’ll get redirected to HTTPS automatically.

Now, while that sounds all nice and good, there’s a side effect from this. Some blog feeds that try to go to HTTP instead of HTTPS just don’t work. This is true of third party feeds, and IMAO uses a third party feed. So, what’s this rinky-dink third party we’re using? Google.

You see, Google owns Feedburner, and it’s actually Feedburner we use. And some blogs that have us listed by the feed don’t update. For example, here’s a screenshot from Harvey’s blog:

See where it says that the blog last updated 2 weeks ago? That’s because it’s pulling from the old feed. It needs to be refreshed.

So, now that you see what’s happening, if you run a blog and have IMAO in your blogroll, check to ensure you have the current URL (the HTTPS instead of HTTP) or the current feed. You might even want to refresh it — remove it and add it back.

Yeah, I know, that’s a bit of a pain to do, but it would help out. And, you might want to check others in your blogroll that haven’t updated recently. It could be that they have, but they also switched to HTTPS and it messed up their feed.

Thanks. We would appreciate it.

Even though the old IMAO blog was abandoned in late 2008 in favor of this one, the old blog is still getting visits. We were looking at the logs from 2019, and found there are some really old posts and pages that get hundreds of visits. Here’s what we found that you’re looking at:

I Disagree With You, So You Must Be Murderous
Posted by Frank J. on 12 February 2004, 8:22 am

Several hundred people have visited that page this year. The funny thing is there are no comments. Now, that’s not to say there haven’t been any, but we removed all the spam (we think) and all the ones that contained mostly profanity. This post lost all its comments as a result. Now I feel sad for poor murderous Frank J. [Edit: the comments now show, though the counter still says “0”]

Next was the Author Page for Laurence Simon. That really surprised me since he stopped writing regularly here in 2007. Apparently his work is still being sought. Cat lovers, probably.

Third most visited was:
In My World: North Koreans Say that Sactions Will Mean They Will Commit a Violent Suicide
Posted by Frank J. on 8 January 2003, 8:55 am

With North Korea in the news lately, it’s not surprising that people searching for reliable information would wind up on one of Frank J.’s posts.

Next was the Author Page for Harvey. Which seems odd to me, since Harvey has many more posts since 2008 on his new Author page. They’re combined now, so whoever has been hitting that page (hundreds of hits in 2019) will see his more recent work. Unless they’re trying to avoid it.

In the fifth spot, with hundreds of visits this year, is the Category Page for In My World. The In My World posts have always been popular, but why so many hits on the old category page instead of the new category page? I dunno. Maybe you got an idea.

Next was the Monthly Archive Page for July 2005. That kinda makes sense. In addition to posts from Frank J. and Harvey, there were many posts from RightWingDuck, SpaceMonkey, Cadet Happy, Scott McCollum, plus a couple from Aquaman. It’s a good example of why people flocked to IMAO.

Seventh most visited legacy IMAO page was:
Hippies Accidentally Create World’s Largest Mercedes Sign
Posted by Harvey on 25 June 2008, 11:57 am

Harvey has been writing fake but not so fake news for some time. That’s a good example.

The eighth spot was the Category Page for Precision Guided Humor posts. That actually surprises me. While they were very popular back then, that whole thing kinda stopped years ago. Check it out if you wanna remember those days.

The Category Page for Editorials was the ninth most visited legacy IMAO page for 2019 (so far). I was surprised until I discovered that there have been only seven of those on the new (post 2008) blog. So, it makes plenty of sense.

The tenth spot was the Category Page for SarahK’s TV stuff. That was from when Sarah K had time to both watch TV and write about it.

Of the top ten, only three were actual individual posts.

If you’re curious about the top ten individual posts from that era that are still getting vistis, the next seven posts are:

It’s Fun to Be Spiteful
Posted by Frank J. on 19 April 2003, 12:19 pm

Space Belongs to Capitalists
Posted by Frank J. on 6 January 2003, 1:56 pm

Office Dares
Posted by Frank J. on 18 August 2005, 3:57 pm

Frank Discussions: Donald Rumsfeld
Posted by Frank J. on 18 April 2003, 10:39 am

Meet Tulio
Posted by Frank J. on 3 October 2003, 7:16 pm

Frank Discussions: John Derbyshire
Posted by Frank J. on 22 March 2004, 7:05 am

A Call to Arms – The Most Important Post I’ve Written
Posted by Frank J. on 13 August 2003, 9:07 pm

I was surprised to see how many hits the old pages are still getting, simply because there’s much less visibility to them. Bringing the older posts into the current site ought to make the bean counters happy.

Mmmm. Beans.

I wanna talk about something serious for a moment. And I’m not talking at you, I wanna talk with you about it. But I will start, mostly because I’m writing this and that’s how blog posts work. But do share your thoughts, suggestions, objections, and complaints in the comments.

What I wanna talk about is: the ads on the site. Some of you may not know there are ads because you’re running ad blockers on your browser. And I understand why you’d do that. I get so ticked off when I go to a Website and an ad pops up over what I’m trying to read. Or one folds down on top. Lots of Websites do things like that and those Websites really tick me off.

Another thing I hate is when a Web page starts playing a video. I don’t want a video to play unless I tell the video to play. News Websites are the worst about that. And, come to think of it, the fold-over ads and pop-ups are common on news Websites, too. No wonder we hate news media.

But I do want to let you know about the ads here on IMAO. They don’t pop up. They don’t fold over. They don’t auto-play video or noise. They’re not intrusive. They are in the sidebars and they stay there. They don’t float around — I hate those that do that — and they don’t get in your way. They’re simply there, offering their wares if you are interested. Like a billboard out by the highway, they’re off to the side for you to look at or ignore. They’re not in the middle of the lane of traffic.

Another thing about the ads on IMAO is that they don’t slow down the page. Although the main content is in the second column, it’s really in the first column. You see, the content items — the posts in the middle column — actually load first. Then the column on the left. Then the column on the right. That way, the ads don’t slow you down from the main content. A lot of Websites don’t work that way. You end up waiting on some ad to load before you get to what you went to the Website for.

The thing is, we here at IMAO use the Internet too. We know what it’s like. We don’t want any ads to cause you trouble during the time you took out of your life to come visit. I don’t wanna waste my time when I go to a Website, and you shouldn’t have your time wasted either. Yeah, some of what we post here seems like a waste sometimes, but you know what I’m talking about.

So, here’s what I’d like to ask of you. If you’re running an ad blocker, try turning if off when you come to IMAO. See what it’s like. Find out if the ads are a bother or a nuisance. If they aren’t, then whitelist IMAO and let the ads show through.

The truth of the matter is it costs money to run a Website. And the ads help offset that cost. If you have an ad blocker running, you’re not helping to offset the cost. So, consider it at least. Try it for a little while.

If you decide to not, that’s okay. We’re still glad to have you here, enjoying yourself and participating in the conversation. But, we’d like you think about it.

We’d appreciate it.

Okay, I said to let us know in the comments your feelings on this. Agree, disagree, let us know. Anonymously, if you’d rather. It’s okay. Your feedback matters.

Thanks for listening. Or reading. You know what I mean.

As Mystery Science Theater 3000 returns, let’s take some time and think about the older series. There were 199 episodes, counting the KTMA season and the movie, but not the pilot/promo. But, for our purposes, we’ll not count the pilot/promo nor the KTMA season, okay?

So, here’s today’s question: Which episode is the best for introducing a new viewer to the show?

Thanks to IMAO reader Mark who asked this yesterday as an aside in the question about songs. It’s a good question, and deserves your full attention. Mark limited his question to the episodes on Netflix, but there are only 20 currently streaming. Shout Factory TV — apps are available for Roku, Apple TV, and Amazon Fire TV — carries 68 episodes.

I think most of the streaming episodes would be a good introduction. But what do you think? If you were introducing someone to the show, what episode would you play for them?

Word is that some of you people are nerds.

I know, I know. You’re shocked — shocked! — to find gambling going on at Rick’s. You and me both.

Anyway, here’s a story, and question, that IMAO Regular “Jimmy” related to us once:

One of my sisters is morbidly overweight. When she was visiting me one day, she asked that I get her a glass of water. I asked her if she wanted cold, filtered water from the fridge, or, room temperature filtered water. She said, “Cold. It helps me burn calories and lose weight.”

I chided her about that and asked if she’d ever done the math to know how many Calories an 8 oz. glass of 38°F water would force her body to burn. “No.” (This sister was valedictorian of her high school class and had a year of Chemistry so she should be able to do the math – at least how to approach getting an answer.)

So, I told her I had done the math long ago and gave her the answer and explained it.

IMAO nerds: How many calories will you burn by consuming an 8 oz glass of 38°F water? Provide your best answer in the comments.

“Jimmy”

Like Jimmy said, answer in the comments. Show your work, or everyone will know you simply Googled it.

Harvey mentioned earlier about fixing the annoying popups. When he first mentioned it last week, some of you asked about the cookie notice. He didn’t ignore you, but he left it to me to address. So, here’s the address:

1050 Carl Griffin Drive
Savannah, GA 31045

Maybe he meant for me to explain what that cookie notice was all about. 

Hmm. Okay. Here’s the deal.

All Websites attempt to deliver cookies. And, unless you’ve dug down deep and tweaked some settings or installed plugins and configured them certain ways, you’re going to have a cookie or two from IMAO. And from every other Website.

Some Websites also use a newer thing called Local Storage, which is another way of saying a different type of cookie. That’s a whole discussion in and of itself.

That cookie notice? Well, it’s designed for our friends in the EU. We do have a few readers there, and the EU, being the EU and all, wants Websites to issue a cookie notice. Now, the people that wrote that regulation don’t know jack squat about cookies, browsers, servers, or anything at all, based on other EU regs I’ve seen. But, it’s a notice that they want.

I thought about ignoring it, but then the thought struck me: why not? I mean, we are putting a cookie on your computer or tablet or phone. Several, in fact. The Website itself puts cookies, images, scripts, and all kinds of stuff. Just like every other Website. Unless you have caching turned off. It’s on by default, so if you didn’t change the settings, you’re getting them, from us and from everyone. It’s how the Web works.

Each ad, even if you have an ad blocker running, is trying to put cookies there. And, odds are, you’re getting the cookies, just the scripts that serve the actual ads are blocked.

Oh, and then there’s Google. We use Google Analytics to count visits to the Website. More visits means higher potential ad revenue. Capitalism! Anyway, Google puts cookies because Google.

There’s probable more, but you get the idea.

But the EU Cookie Notice? We’re simply letting you know. EU wants us to do that. I don’t care what EU wants. But, you? You deserve to know. We love and respect you that much. Or something.