The importance of being Earnest. And Pam.

A group of six Georgia legislators have proposed a bill in the State House that would make certain fake images illegal. Like when you take the head of one person and put it on, say, a porn star? That would be a crime under the bill.

The actual wording of House Bill 39 says:

… a person commits defamation when he or she causes an unknowing person wrongfully to be identified as the person in an obscene depiction …

The bill goes on to describe what “nudity,” “obscene depiction,” and “sexual conduct” means, in case you didn’t know. It also describes all the fun/naughty parts that make nudity, obscene, and sexual actually nudity, obscene, and sexual.

The six Democrats — you knew the sponsors were all Democrats, right? — really don’t like that kind of humor. Two of them were victims of such prankery, Pam Dickerson* (who introduced a similar bill last year) and Earnest Smith*. The blog Georgia Politics Unfiltered is one of the culprits that prompted such actions. You can search that site for more images, if you want. You don’t want. Trust me.

Still, I understand that those that are victims of such actions might not like it. But, a crime? Such thin skin.

Maybe I’d feel differently if I was the victim of such actions. And, no, this is NOT a call to photoshop some image of my head on a porn star’s body.

Unless it was Jenna Jameson. I’ve always wanted to be Jenna Jameson.

Foiled again

There’s an asteroid heading towards Earth. It’s named 2012 DA14 — it was named after its great-grandfather, I assume — and discovered by Spanish astronomers about a year ago.

Oh, it’s not going to hit the Earth. It’ll come within 17,000 miles of the planet, but that’s as close as it will get … this time.

Those of you who were hoping for a killer asteroid to destroy the planet would’ve been disappointed anyway. Had it hit Earth, it would have created a blast roughly equal to the Tunguska event. Hardly a planet killer.

So, if you want to witness to destruction of civilization as we know it, you’ll have to settle for watching Obama on the news.

 

 

Cartoon of the Day – Scouting

ChuckAsay20130205
[Source: Chuck Asay – GoComics]

My buddy Paul Mitchell says:

Call me kooky, but if gay men want to teach knot tying and go camping with young boys, why don’t they just advertise free camping trips for young boys? I am sure that most parents would be glad to let their boys go camping with gay men.

The Boy Scout Oath:

On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.

Consider this post my effort to do a good turn daily.

Boob job

Image: GlobalPost

Word is that in North Korea, smaller is better. At least when it comes to breasts.

Seems that in the DPRK, large-breasted women are an object of shame. Or something. It’s kinda hard to figure out. Here’s how Google translates it:

One trillion sukhyang Mr. other North Korean women, “In the North, large breasts tightly tucked around. Big Tits in the North was a shame Korea is the belle of the conditions in the sludge was amazing, “he said.

Okay, that’s kinda hard to figure out. Here’s the same passage of the article, as translated by Bing:

Another hostage takers turned to North Korea’s “premature, the chest is freakin’ skimming. Big boobs in North Korea was a shameful condition of La Belle in Korea was fabulous, “he said.

You see why it’s so hard to figure out.

Anyway, I think this phenomenon needs further study.

Volunteers?

Boycott!

The boycott that liberals called on Chick-Fil-A last year certainly made an impact.

The Atlanta food chain released figures at the request of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution — the chain is private and doesn’t have to release numbers — and here’s what they showed: sales were up 14% to $4.6-billion, and the company opened 96 new stores.

Now, to be sure, the AJC is taking the approach that all this good financial news happened despite the boycott. The AJC is a liberal paper — not as liberal as some, but way too liberal for my tastes — and spins stories to their point of view.

Still, sales up 14%? 96 new stores providing hundreds of new jobs?

I wish someone would boycott me.

Fill ‘er up, eh?

Photo: Canadian Space Agency

An orbiting robot gas station ran a successful test refueling of a mock satellite. That’s the word from a report this past week:

Dextre, a twin-armed robot from Canada, topped off the fuel tank in the mockup, showing how satellites’ life can be extended, according to the Canadian Space Agency (CSA).

Operating on the Robotic Refueling Mission (RRM) module, Dextre removed safety caps and cut through retaining wires before transferring liquid ethanol to the mockup, which is about the size of a washing machine.

That’s right. The Canadian Space Agency. Not NASA.

Now, I have nothing against our friends to the north. I’ve not spent a lot of time in Canada, but have visited. The places I went were nice. The only problem I found is they don’t know how to make breakfast sausage. Every breakfast I ate there has sausage that tasted like sawdust.

And now, a country that can’t even make breakfast right is able to make robot gas stations in space while the U.S. space program is canceling programs and focusing on Muslim outreach.

I’m thinking we wouldn’t be in this situation if we had an American president. Or Democrats who actually loved America.

Forward!

Train of thought

Alfred_Ely_Beach

What’s the fastest-growing cause of death in New York City?

Consider this: in 2012, there were 55 deaths by this cause; if this year’s pace continues, 2013 will record 116 deaths.

The cause? Subways.

No, not the sandwich shop, the transportation method.

While that’s not as many people as are killed by other means, it’s one of the fastest-growing causes of death, according to information in a CBS report.

When will liberals call for a ban on subways? I mean, that’s the next step, right? Only, how would they do it?

Ban high-capacity trains? Require a permit to own a subway token?

That’s your task: using liberal logic (?!), tell us how a liberal would handle the increase in subway deaths.

Getting your hack on

The White House wants you hackers to hack.

Yep, on June 1 and 2, they want you to participate in a National Day of Civic Hacking. They’re wanting hackers to participate in all 50 states. As I write this, 27 cities are participating, including 5 in Georgia, counting Columbus (where I am).

I don’t see Boise on the list, so I don’t know if Frank is going to participate. I think Harvey is within 100 miles of one of them, but I don’t know if he’s going to participate. It’s a weekend, so people that have Monday-Friday jobs will be able to play along.

Am I going to participate? I don’t know. A lot, but not all, of the computer hacky types around here are goofy liberals. I might show up just to piss them off.

Anyway, if you were to participate, what would you do?

How would you “hack for a cause?”

Not your every day, ordinary stripper fight

Two strippers in Juneau, Wisconsin got into a fight over a dollar.

Now, I know times are tough, but two strippers fighting over a dollar? It happens. I suppose.

What’s unusual about this…. Notice that so far, we’re talking about two strippers fighting over a dollar, and I’m saying this isn’t the unusual part. I’m not an expert on stripper fights, but I suspect that two strippers fighting over a dollar is kinda rare in and of itself. No, there’s more. One of the strippers is pregnant.

Now, I have no idea how pregnant the stripper is, but apparently there’s a market for pregnant strippers.

Of course, it is under Obama’s watch — into its fifth year, now — that the economy got so bad that strippers, including one with child, are fighting over a dollar. So, if you’re into that kinda thing, this is how the economy is getting better. For a dollar, some guy got to watch two strippers (one pregnant) tear each other’s hair out.

Forward!

Belief

Image: The Wearing Of The Grin © 1951 Warner Bros.

Did you hear that Megan Fox believes in leprechauns? She tells Esquire, “We should all believe in leprechauns. I’m a believer.”

She also tells Esquire that believes in Big Foot, aliens, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Bell Witch (whatever the hell that is).

Now, before we all start picking on her, let’s consider what a lot of other Hollywood types believe:

  • Obama is smart
  • Christians hate gays
  • America is evil
  • Guns, not bad people, are the problem
  • People who aren’t them shouldn’t have protection
  • They matter

So, as much as I snicker about Ms. Fox’s belief in fairies and monsters, I think those kinds of silly beliefs won’t bankrupt the economy.

Helping Obama

In Chapin, South Carolina, a Chapin High School (go Eagles!) English teacher took down an American flag and stomped on it.

The story doesn’t identify the teacher, and it says it’s not entirely clear why the teacher did it, but the students will have a permanent replacement for the rest of the year.

The suspended teacher hasn’t commented on the situation. However, he should take comfort. He’s now at the top of Obama’s short list to be the new Secretary of Education.

RUR

I have always been fascinated by robots. I’d laugh at the silly robots from some of the early science fiction films I saw on TV, although I loved the Class M-3 Model B9, General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot from Lost In Space.

I never thought of the Tin Woodsman from The Wizard of Oz as a robot, but I suppose he was. Maybe not. The chick in Metropolis was definitely a robot, though she didn’t look like it for most of the film.

The robots in a lot of Isaac Asimov’s stories and novels were always lots of fun to read about.

I even liked Johnny Five from Short Circuit — though the robot was cooler than the movie.

Of course, I had a Rock’Em Sock’Em Robots game when I was a kid.

I’m not sure what fascinated me about robots. Was it their near-human appearance that was both frightening and fascinating? Was it the idea that a robot could do work I didn’t want to do? Like Rosie from The Jetsons?

Not consciously, but maybe, in the back of my mind, that was there.

There has been an advancement in robotics. No, they haven’t turned a Roomba into Rosie just yet. They’ve made a robot that can vomit.

Seriously.

They’re studying how the spray can pass along viruses or something else just as disgusting.

That’s a pretty specialized use for a vomiting robot. But, it still has applications beyond the laboratory. If I had one, I’d have it sit in front of the TV and watch Obama, and then vomit in disgust, so I wouldn’t have to.

Gameville

I’m not an online gamer. I’m not even an off-line gamer. I have an Xbox, but I don’t have any games for it. I got it for the ESPN app to watch college football games. Other than fall Saturdays and bowl season, it sits quietly.

I’m on Facebook, but don’t do a lot of that. I certainly don’t play games on the Facebook. I know lots of people that did, though, and that’s fine. I know I enjoy some things that some people don’t care for.

I used to get Facebook updates about people I had friended playing all sorts of silly games. I would see where people bought tractors or recruited players to their mobs and all kinds of nonsense. I think I finally figured out how to stop getting those updates. Either that, or everybody I know quit playing silly games on the Facebook.

Apparently, lots of people quit playing those games. Zynga, the company responsible for Farmville, Mafia Wars, and a whole slew of other online Facebook games has decided to shut down some of their games.

They actually announced that games were shutting down back in October, it seems. But I didn’t notice, and apparently neither did Tech Crunch or Cnet, who just this week had stories about it. The games being shuttered include:

  • PetVille
  • Mafia Wars 2
  • FishVille
  • Vampire Wars
  • Treasure Isle
  • Indiana Jones Adventure World
  • Montopia
  • Mafia Wars Shakedown
  • Forestville
  • Mojitomo
  • Word Scramble Challenge

I’m pretty sure this is bad news. The reason? I don’t see Obamaville on the list. That’s the only made up environment I’ve been a part of.

Wait. What? Obama and his economy are real?

Suddenly Mafia Wars is looking more and more attractive.