Archive of posts tagged News

Sunny Day…

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BigBirdWorkI don’t have anything personally against Big Bird, or Bert and Ernie, or any of the Sesame Street crew. And, I’m not happy about the latest bit of news to hit the Sesame Workshop, which makes the show. However, I wonder if they’ll finally come to realize that Obama isn’t their friend.

You see, Sesame Workshop just cut their staff by 10%.

“We at Sesame Workshop are not immune to the challenges of today’s economic environment. After careful review, we have concluded that we must operate, and achieve our strategic priorities with fewer resources. Therefore, we have reluctantly determined that we must reduce our workforce by approximately 10%,” said CEO H. Melvin Ming in a note sent to staff this afternoon.

Oh, in case you forgot, this isn’t the first layoff for the company. A dozen were let go last year. And another 60 were let go in 2009. That’s 102 of the 355 that were employed when Obama took office. That’s right, 29% of the company’s workforce has been downsized since Obama moved into the White House.

I just hope that they remember that today’s layoff’s are brought to you by the letter “O.”

But they won’t.

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Those wacky German scientists

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RobotMonkeyI must hand it to Frank J. He’s warned us about robots in the past. He’s also warned us about monkeys for years.

But now, we have a whole new worry. Yes, some mad scientists at the German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence have combined robots and monkeys. They’ve invented a robot ape.

Why?

I don’t know.

Of all the things that have happened in this world when you get a bunch of German scientists together, the only thing I can think of that’s been, well, not scary as hell, was when they put Americans on the moon. Other than that, I’m not thinking German scientists have a good track record.

Maybe we can help the Germans out. They’re smart people; they just need a little guidance.

What’s a good use for a giant German robot ape? Besides climbing a skyscraper with Robot Fay Wray, that is. I mean, there’s got to be a use for one, right? Otherwise, the why would the Germans have built one?

What do you think? What are the Germans up to? And how can we use a giant German robot ape to benefit mankind?

UPDATE (from Harvey): Springeraz [High Praise!] may have discovered the correct answer.

TBS Baseball: Then & Now

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I wasn’t happy to hear about the newest member of the TBS baseball family. I used to watch TBS back when the Braves would lose 100 games a year. But I watched and listened to Braves baseball anyway. The announcers were that good. You could watch or listen, and enjoy the broadcast while all the other teams in the league whipped your team regularly.

So, when news of Keith Olbermann’s hiring reached me, I wasn’t happy.

Neither was my cat.


[Source: YouTube]

Yeah, Frank, my cat stole your video. Bad kitteh.

Hey, Francis! I got somebody I’d like you to meet.

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PopeExorcism

Image: The Mirror

Some people appear to getting their panties in a wad over the pope laying hands on some guy and praying. They’re saying he performed an exorcism on the guy right there in line at St. Peter’s Square.

Here’s the video:

[Source: YouTube]

Now, it looks to me like he did exactly what I said in the opening sentence: he laid hands on a fellow and offered a prayer. Heck, I’ve seen Baptists do that, so I’m certainly not surprised when the Bishop of Rome does it.

But, some folks are going all gaga over it, calling it an exorcism. And, heck, maybe it was.

If it was, and Pope Francis can do that (and I’m not doubting it), I wonder if maybe he’ll do it again sometime.

I suggest his next visit to Washington, DC, would be a great time. So, in case the head of the Roman Catholic Church is reading this, here’s what to do:

  • From Reagan National, have the driver take the George Washington Parkway to I-395 North.
  • Take the US-1 exit, merging onto US-1/14th Street.
  • Left on Madison.
  • Right on 15th NW.
  • Left onto E Street/Pennsylvania Avenue (you’ll need to show ID, it’s restricted).
  • Take the first right.
  • Ask for Barack.

I wish you much success!

Shocked!

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Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

I was shocked — Shocked! — to learn that the chairman of the Democrat party in Georgia, an attorney named Mike Belon, is being disciplined by the State Bar.

Now, it’s only a Review Board Reprimand, which means no fine or suspension. I’m not sure if it even comes with a “don’t do that again.” What did he do? Well, according to WAOK radio:

The client had claimed Berlon failed to file paperwork as requested and paid an investigator without permission.

Berlon tells The Associated Press he takes responsibility for the miscommunication with the client on legal strategy.

So, a Democrat is supposed to be working for someone, but has no idea what the client wants, and it ends up costing the client more?

Heck, he’s presidential material. If you consider Obama presidential.

Here’s your sign

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KickMe
KRQE-TV/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CN

Read an article earlier this month about a worker at an Intel plant that sued over a “kick me” sign others placed on his back. The lawsuit wasn’t just because of the sign, but because people at work actually kicked him. You can go read about it if you want.

The thing is, it gave me an idea. What if somebody put a sign on Obama’s back?

Now, I don’t know if he’d sue, but I’d be willing to take that chance. But would you?

If you had the chance to put a sign on Obama’s back, would you? And, if so, what would it say?

These are not the doctors you’re looking for

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Calling Dr. Killbot

Robots have been in the news lately. There’s a robot that’s been operating on people, and killing some of them.

I know. You’re thinking that the Three Laws won’t let that happen. Well, guess what? The Three Laws are just fiction. Killer medical robots are real.

There’s an AP report out of Chicago that tells of one busy robot:

… a million-dollar, multi-armed robot named da Vinci, used in nearly 400,000 surgeries nationwide last year …

Did you know that? Some multi-armed robot has been doing surgery all across the country, at the rate of over 1,000 a day.

And, if that’s not enough, it’s a killer robot:

… the high-tech helper is under scrutiny over reports of problems, including several deaths that may be linked with it …

If I had told you when Congress was getting ready to pass Obamacare that in 2013, we’d have killer robots operating on people, you’d’ve said I was a right-wing nutcase.

Yeah, well, the Associated Press backs me up. We got killer robots playing doctor. And not in the fun way.

You thought all you had to look out for was drones. But now you have to be wary of multi-armed killer medical robots.

If I were you, I’d play it safe and avoid all multi-armed robots. For a while, at least.

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Trippin’

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Photo: Ramon Espinosa/AP

Seems some folks are getting their panties in a wad over Mr. & Mrs. Shawn Corey Carter’s trip to Cuba. You may know the Carters as Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Or, you may not.

Mrs. Carter is the one called Beyoncé, in case you aren’t familiar. She’s a singer or something. She also acts. You may have seen her in the Austin Powers movie Goldmember where she played Tamara Dobson.

Mr. Carter is a singer and part owner of the Brooklyn Nets, a former ABA team.

Anyway, now that you know who they are, they’re catching a lot of grief over their trip to Cuba. They went for their fifth wedding anniversary.

“So, where do you want to go for our anniversary, Sweetheart?”

“Well, I’ve always dreamed of walking the streets of a city where there are chickens running around loose.”

“How about Cuba? Lots of places like that down there.”

“Perfect!”

Okay, maybe that’s not how it went, but then again, maybe it was. You don’t know.

A couple of Florida Congressmen (okay, a Congressman and a Congresswoman) are all up in arms over it, according to the Washington Post.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with their trip to Cuba. I’m all in favor of them going there. I’m even more supportive of them staying there.

Envahisseur étranger?

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The Associated Press — and apparently it’s the political correct crowd with whom they are associated — has decided to stop using the term “illegal immigrant” to describe an illegal immigrant.

According to the AP blog, Senior Vice President and Executive Editor Kathleen Carroll says:

The Stylebook no longer sanctions the term “illegal immigrant” or the use of “illegal” to describe a person.

So, what should they call them?

I kinda like Jay Leno’s suggestion (as quoted by Andrew Malcom):

AP, the world’s largest newsgathering organization, bans the term ‘illegal immigrant.’ From now on AP will call them ‘undocumented Democrats.’

Maybe there’s a better term for an illegal immigrant.

Foreign invader, perhaps?

Trusting Obama

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Photo: AP

The Speaker of the House trusts Barack Obama.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking: “What’s the punchline?” Yeah, there’s not one. John Boehner says he “absolutely” trusts Barack Obama:

Boehner said “hope springs eternal” in regards to the possibility of a budget deal, and told (ABC News correspondent Martha) Raddatz that he has a “very good relationship” with President Obama and that he “absolutely” trusts him. He added that the president’s recent outreach — or so called “charm offensive” — intended to woo Republicans, is a “good thing.”

It’s nice to know that Boehner trusts Obama. I was worried that all the lies and tricks Obama had told and pulled over his life would make him untrustworthy. But Boehner can see right through that, and know that Obama can be trusted.

And that’s good news. Boehner will be able to work with the president to make good things happen. I believe he’ll work with Obama and deliver a good, workable plan for the future of the country. After all, Boehner delivers. Just think about how he managed to deliver his home state in the last election.

Now, don’t you feel better?

This ranks right up there with Microsoft Bob

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Bill Gates has a wonderful idea: give Barack Obama more power. Because that’s the problem: Obama doesn’t have enough power.

Being able to kill you with a drone strike while you are sitting on your couch at home isn’t enough.

Being able to take all your money and give it to people who sit on their couch all day long, isn’t enough. (And, no, those aren’t the one’s Obama would send a drone after.)

Raising your taxes isn’t enough.

Taking your guns isn’t enough.

No, Obama needs more power. So says Bill Gates.

This is the same Bill Gates that released MS-DOS 4, by the way. And Windows ME. And Windows Vista.

Yes, that Bill Gates. He wants Obama to have more power.

Now you know why I have a Mac.

To Mars!

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MarsDennis Tito wants to go to Mars. In fact, he says he’s blasting off to head to the Red Planet in January, 2018. Look at a calendar; that’s less than five years from now.

I know what you’re thinking: Who the heck is Dennis Tito? Well, he’s the guy that, in 2001, paid the Russians a bunch of money to take him to the space station. He’s the first private citizen to go to space. Now, he wants to go to Mars.

I kinda got my doubts about the feasibility of a trip to Mars, at least right now. But, hey, it’s his money; he can do what he wants with it.

But just wait until the liberals find out what an investment consultant is planning. They’ll throw a hissy fit. Someone like Dennis Tito wasting all that money on a trip to Mars when the government could waste that money right here on Earth.

I’m kinda with the liberals on this one. Kinda. Let me explain.

I think the first person to Mars should be Barack Obama. I mean, he’s as well-qualified to be an astronaut — or would he be a cosmonaut? — as he was to be elected president. Or to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Or… well, anything he’s done. His lack of qualifications haven’t stopped him from being all these other things, so why should they stop him from being the first man to Mars?

And, we shouldn’t wait, either. Send him now. Tomorrow. Heck, send him today.

Sure, there are some problems with the physics involved, since the positions of Earth and Mars right now make the trip a little difficult. But, if they simply put a “Physics-Free Zone” sign on the rocket, he’ll get there and back in around 500 days. Maybe even less.

There’s also the problem of oxygen. Obama would need oxygen. A lot of oxygen if he talks a lot. But, as wonderful and magical as he is — giving us free phones and food stamps and such — I bet when he breaths out, it’s not carbon dioxide, but even more oxygen. So, that problem is solved.

Of course, there’s the issue with food. [See previous paragraph and apply to this topic because I don’t really want to write about that.]

Anyway, I say we send Obama to Mars.

Except…

There’s the whole problem with space radiation exposure during such a long trip. What if the 1950s movies were right, and it caused Obama to grow to incredible size when he gets back to Earth? He’d go crazy and destroy everything.

Of course, he’s kinda doing that now, but at least we’d get a 500-day reprieve. So, let the countdown begin!

Heat map

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Have you seen the new meteor impact heat map?

Well, there’s a map that plots all of the recorded meteorite impacts on Earth since 2300 BC. Note, this is recorded impacts. If no one saw it or found evidence of it, it’s not recorded. That’s why there aren’t a whole lot shown over the oceans. So, it’s not a full mapping of every meteor impact, just those we know about.

You can go to the interactive map and zoom in or select any place on earth. It contains information about each strike. I found it interesting.

Naturally, it’s inspired by the recent meteor strike in Russia. But, it’s not the only map inspired by recent events.

Here’s a map of areas of the United States that are victims of the economic impact of Obama and Democrat policies. Those adversely affected are shown in purple.

It’s a little more accurate than the meteor map. And a lot more scary.

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