What’s the government going to do with all that ham and cheese?

Posted on July 19, 2009 6:10 pm

I assume you saw where the government, as part of its economic recovery program, has purchased $1,191,200 of ham. How much ham is that? Two pounds. No, really. (Hat tip: American Thinker and KOSMOSNET)

Don’t get discouraged. If you think all the government does is pay lots of money for ham, you’d be wrong.

They also pay lots of money for cheese. $1,562,568 for mozzarella cheese. (Hat tip: FireAndreaMitchell.com)

Now, to be fair, it doesn’t say exactly how much cheese the government gets for $1,562,568, but I have enough faith in my government to believe that it’s enough to go with $1,191,200 of ham.

Assuming that’s the case, what’s the government going to do with all that ham and cheese?

Feed the world.

Remember, Jesus fed five thousand with five loaves of bread and two fish. Surely, Obama can do better.

There were only about 200-300 million people in the world during Jesus’ lifetime. That’s less than the number of people living in the U.S. today. Shouldn’t be a problem for Obama, should it?

With all that ham (TWO POUNDS … and it’s SLICED!) and cheese (mozzarella, no less) the government bought, world hunger will soon be a thing of the past. And, for the measly price of $2,753,768 it’s a bargain!

Ham and cheese for everybody!

Oh. Except for the Jews.

And the Muslims.

Oh, heck. I think I’ve found the flaw in the plan.

I wonder if there’s any way Obama can blame this on Biden? Or Bush?

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38 Responses to “What’s the government going to do with all that ham and cheese?”

  1. IH8Socialist says:

    my head just exploded.

  2. Son of Bob says:

    This will end up being another classic Obama cult moment. He’ll start with two loaves of bread and say something Jesus-like about feeding everyone, then suddenly all this ham and cheese will appear and CNN, MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC and Shepard Smith will all proclaim that it is a miracle, and that Obama is truly “The One.” So, don’t tell anyone that they already bought the ham and cheese or it will ruin the whole moment.

    It’s kinda like the Michelle Obama miracle garden, only bigger.

  3. Ernie Loco says:

    I can only hope this is some sort of misprint, typo, or not the whole story. But given the fact that it’s the Obama porkulus/generational-theft act, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. What do you want to bet those companies are owned by big Obama supporters.

    I hope somebody raises holy hell in Washington over this, even if it is a mistake.

  4. midwestconservative says:

    he could follow the lead by mama Cass ,What the hell I’ll even donate the bread.

  5. AR says:

    I have no doubt that the “stimulus” package was nothing more than a political payday for the allies of the democratic party, but this particular instance is so stupid that I’m more inclined to believe it is the result of incompetence.

  6. MarkoMancuso says:

    Basil, nice try, but I’m not clicking on any links to “recovery.org”. Rumor is that since there has been no recovery, that website is now one big “RickRoll” prank.

    I wonder if there’s any way Obama can blame this on Biden? Or Bush?

    It’s God’s fault. God created pigs, so Obama (because he’s Obama) had no choice but to spend money on it. Afterall, if he didn’t spend money he’d have no choice but to go back to his other drug: staring at buttocks.

  7. Stevend says:

    In the gospel according to Joe:

    This was stimulating news for chickens and cows…..think about it.

  8. innominatus says:

    If one dares click over to the recovery.gov site, one finds info about the bidding process. There were only **TWO** bids on this sliced ham request. Presumably, this was the **LOW** bid!!!

    So what are we doing here on IMAO, when we should be putting in ridiculous bids at recovery.gov and getting rich? It’s not like I’m afraid of Sheriff Joe!

  9. Dr Nikolas Van Helsing says:

    What, you want some justification? Due diligence below:

    THIS SYSTEM REPLACES THE CURRENT SYSTEM THAT IS IN NEED OF REPLACEMENT.

    I don’t think they plan on doing the entire forest, but if they use the wood from the forest they can do a lot of it.

    OLYMPIC NATIONAL FOREST – ROOFING PROJECT

  10. cjtony97 says:

    I know this game. The alternative to spending 2.7 mil on ham and cheese is to do nothing. I’m sure it’s already been framed in that manner.

  11. ILoveMyFreedoms says:

    Ham and cheese aren’t exactly health foods.
    Unhealthy eating habits can lead to disease, obesity, and heart attacks.
    Many ham-and-cheese eaters will henceforth become ill.
    Under the new health plan guidelines, most of those will kick the bucket while waiting several months to see a doctor.
    These deaths should mean less of our tax dollars being spread to those with their hands out.
    But it also means less votes for Obamarama.
    Eventually he’ll figure this out and fix it.
    No worries!

  12. Obamaaintmymama says:

    $1.5 million on ham? That’s how much they paid for Pelosi? Ooops…my bad. That was for 2 pounds of frozen ham, not 120 pounds of frozen ham with no conscience.

  13. zzyzx says:

    My suggestion would be to use some stimulus money to buy a couple of million dollars worth of eggs, and whip up the worlds largest ham and cheese omelet. Millions more stimulus dollars would have to be provided by the government to construct the worlds largest frying pan to cook it all in. Of course an operation this big would require an ‘Omelet Czar’ to coordinate it all and as I have a lot of spare time on my hands and am fond of omelets I would like to nominate myself for the job. Of course I would need a suitable salary, nothing less then $170,000.00 per year, which, in this day and age, is cheap for a experienced czar much less a professional Omelet Czar….problem solved.

  14. marvin says:

    This is a horrible oversight, and the solution is obvious. We need four more czars. A ham czar, a cheese czar, a bread czar, and the final czar will be the sandwich czar for when after the three are combined. Each will have a six figure salary, not counting benefits, and a multi-million dollar budget. We may need more czars for peanut butter, and jelly.

  15. Terry_Jim says:

    “Now , wait ,um , a minute. That ham we ,uh, inherited from the Previous Administration, and I want to assure our Jewish and Muslim friends that we ,er, changed the order to 4 lbs of Kosher ham, saving the American people over $1 Million.”

  16. Veeshir says:

    Sure laugh, just wait until you see how much the bread and mustard are going to cost.

  17. Crusty says:

    Man, for $1,191,200 that better be a 3 pound sliced ham, not just a 2-pounder.

  18. G Snakes says:

    Tina, come get some haaam!!

  19. Chuck says:

    I just heard Joe Biden on MSNBC:

    ” Folks I have just two words for you on this…..Pizza. Everyone loves pizza and I’m sure our Hebrew and Mohmmadite friends can agree,especially if it’s kosher.”

  20. Patrick1 says:

    Hope & Change just became Ham & Cheese.

  21. storm1911 says:

    This is just a bail out for Dennies. Free Moon over MYHamy for everyone !!!

  22. “Ham & Cheese For Everyone!” « Gunservatively! links:

    [...] & Cheese For Everyone!” Jump to Comments From one of my favorite websites, IMAO asks: What’s the government going to do with all that ham and cheese? …the government, as [...]

  23. Emmett says:

    Mark Levin always said that government cheese was free. Somebody should let him know about the policy change.

  24. Oil Field Trash says:

    Man…. They should have shopped at Walmart

  25. NunyaB says:

    LOL #20

  26. RandyG says:

    http://www.soulpittsburgh.com/images/idiot.jpg

  27. Live Free Or Die says:

    19Chuck is right, and if they look hard enough, they’ll probably find a few million spent on Pizza Dough. Yet it won’t go to feeding the world’s hungry. It’s already been eaten up by all those congressional staffers working late into the night thinking up ways to ‘spend our way out of the recession’.

  28. Teleprompter Messiah says:

    Pork for Big Pork. There hasn’t been an Administration this ironic since James Earle Carter got attacked by a rabbit.

  29. Teleprompter Messiah says:

    Of course, this could be Lightworker’s way of showing he isn’t a secret Muslim and laying those rumors to rest in 2012..

    “Dude, do you have any idea of how much I spend on pork products” will be his response when challenged on why he hasn’t done the Haj yet.

  30. DesertElephant says:

    Huh. Finally being honest about the “stimulus” money by spending it on ACTUAL pork. Now that’s some transparency.

  31. MikeLL says:

    Man. The USDA quickly fired back that this was not for one 2lb. piece of pork, but for a whole bunch. They sound defensive.

    Well, now that that is settled, maybe they can explain the $1.4M door repair. Must be a big damn door.

  32. TimothyJ says:

    PIZZA!!!!

  33. heinlock says:

    guess the bammy logo should change to taste we can belive in
    http://www.royalbaconsociety.com/store/viewProduct.php?ProductID=57

  34. IMAO » Blog Archive » Makin’ Bacon out of a Molehill links:

    [...] post I wrote that appeared both on my little blog and at IMAO has garnered the attention of Ace of Spades HQ. Okay, it was the IMAO posting. They’ve never [...]

  35. brianf says:

    “Blessed are the cheesemakers, they will be called the sons of God.”

    ["Obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products." - B]

  36. silaS marreD says:

    Did anyone notice this part of the page:

    Date Signed 2009-04-28
    Ultimate Completion Date 2009-06-30

    It took them 2 months to deliver 2 pounds of cheese! I suppose that would be suprising if it were not a government contract.

  37. adagioforstrings says:

    As the objective scientists at PETA will inform you, farm animals contribute to global warming climate change. Hence, by pricing pork out of the market, the benevolent US government is helping Americans become responsible world citizens.

  38. adagioforstrings says:

    Comrades on the Peoples Cube have a picture of the $1,191,200 package of ham.

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