Straight Line of the Day: After the Debate, Obama said to Biden…

Posted on October 12, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

After the debate, Obama said to Biden…

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51 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: After the Debate, Obama said to Biden…”

  1. Lance says:

    WTF Over?

  2. jw says:

    what, now you’re the cheshire cat?

  3. Easycure says:

    That was a funny f*cking deal.

  4. DamnCat says:

    …”What kinda choom you been smokin’? Can I have some?”

  5. g says:

    I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?

  6. Critter says:

    “Heckuva job, Joey!”

  7. Tin Man says:

    How many times do I have to tell you not to giggle when you lie. I can’t believe you have been a liberal for so long and still can’t keep a straight face when lying.

  8. blarg says:

    … Wow! You did such a great job! You debated Ryan almost as well as the moderator!

    … Yes, yes, I’ll have someone from the Secret Service run out and get that new Pokemon game for your Game Boy… as soon as one of them is done with his nice lady visitor.

    … “meh”

  9. Jimmy says:

    …I give your debate performance a solid B+.

  10. AwesometificAmerican says:

    Now do you understand why we only agreed to one debate between you and Ryan?

  11. SineWaveII says:

    …. “That was great. My debate performance looked smooth and professional compared to yours. Thanks Joe!”

  12. tomg51 says:

    You’re the man! In fact, you’re sitting in for me next Tuesday. Extreme make-up begins at 9:00 AM

  13. AwesometificAmerican says:

    Well, Joe at least you didn’t say anything racist this time.

  14. artvol11 says:

    …way to take a cue from the SNL version of Cris Mathews buddy. (

  15. rodney dill says:

    That’ll do pig.

  16. hadsil says:

    . . . you stole my condescension. To the dog house with you! Yes, I licked it clean.

    . . . I think we need an intervention for you.

    . . . next time use helium to blow up the balloons, not laughing gas.

    . . . I told you my joke about the rabbi and the priest a week ago, and only NOW you get it?

  17. TheHat says:

    Nailed it!

  18. rodney dill says:

    Next time yell, “Intercepted,” everytime you interrupt.

  19. Fly says:

    … not as good as I did, Joe, but you were pretty fly for a white guy.

    … you better turn off that snide face with me, Joe. Shoot for obsequious. I’ll give you a few minutes.

  20. Jim in PA says:

    … next time, take the emotion chip back out before you go on stage.

  21. phreshone says:

    After the debate, Obama said to Biden…

    … have you ever taken a midnight walk in Ft Marcy Park?

    … I told you I gave Martha a great wedding gift.

    … what, no 7-11 jokes? We might still win. I told you I want to be in my $35 million Hawaiian estate in February, living off the skim from the foreign campaign donations.

    … Great hustle Joe. I thought Ryan would lose it for sure. You were the biggest dick ever out there.

  22. Steel Turman says:

    You’re fired.

  23. zeeman says:

    Boy I was a 3 letter word…J E R K

  24. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    …man, Joe, you were amped up out there…those B-12 shots really seem to work…and you only cried a little when the doctor gave you that shot in your @ss.

  25. blarg says:

    ..hey Joe, it’s ok – you did your best and that all anyone can ask of you. If it were me up there I’d have gone to pieces for sure.

  26. hadsil says:

    . . . Joe, the altitude wasn’t that high, but perhaps you were?

  27. blarg says:

    …Joe, I know I promised you a puppy if you didn’t totally mess up the debate, and I’m very very proud of you for being a good helper while Ms. Raddatz debated that big bad Paul Ryan, but I had some friends over last night and we got REAAAAALY baked. I mean we were MESSED UP. It was like…ok never mind. The point is we got hungry and ate your puppy….now come on….don’t be like that, Joe….hey…don’t cry….Joe….come on….hey…it’s not so bad, sport, I got you something to make it up to you. Look! It’s an Obamaphone! Only my specialest, most bestest supporters get one. And listen….when someone calls y….IF someone calls you, it goes “OBAMAPHONE!!!! WOOOOO!!!! ROMNEY SUCK!!!!” OK? Is that a smile? You can’t hide it….we saw that smile all night yesterday….I know it’s in there somewhere….THERE it is. See? Awww….you’re so cute when you laugh….now run along, I have some grown-up country destroy-ee stuff to do”.

  28. CarolyntheMommy says:

    Obama said to Biden, “Asssphincter says what?” to which Biden replied, “WHAT?! I know several asssphincters! They’re my mom and dad! They’re my constituents! I’m giving tax cuts to them!”

  29. Yosoff says:

    … Afghanistan, Lybia, Syria, Jordan, Israel, Qatar… you guys can’t just make up countries like that!

  30. Jimmy says:

    …Joe, I’m waiting to see what Son of Bob at IMAO thinks of the debate because he seems to know you better than I do!

  31. Dohtimes says:

    …Joe, can you get Raddatz to quit interrupting so I can congratulate you?

    …can you get Chris Matthews to call me, he seemed to say he was dumping me for you when we were making pillow talk last night.

  32. blarg says:

    …Joe, if I had a father, he’d look just like you.

  33. blarg says:

    …Joe I got some good news and I got some bad news. Good news: Both MSNBC viewers though you won the debate. Bad news: turns out one of them was just a cat that sat on the remote.

  34. archangel says:

    …thanks for making me look good.

  35. Cliff says:

    …..Joe, I love how your dentures sparkle when you snicker like that.

  36. Writer says:

    I would rate that an “Incomplete”.

  37. blarg says:

    …take the dog, leave the cannoli

  38. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …you were right, smiling does make it more believable when you lie through your teeth…no one can see your lips move.

  39. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . if you keep on making that face, your face will freeze like that.

  40. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … I’m sure glad you made yourself out to be a man of the people while using a Mont Blanc pen.

  41. CarolyntheMommy says:

    .. So wait? We’re supposed to LAUGH about Libya? Good call: make ’em laugh about terrorism.

  42. CarolyntheMommy says:

    …. keep this up and we’ll let you sit at the big kid table come the next Cabinet meeting

    … GOOD BOY! Aren’t you a good little VP? Yes you are! Yes you are! Sit. Stay. Good JoJo. (Scratches him behind the ears)

  43. Jimmy says:

    …Joe, stay away from CarolyntheMommy.

  44. tanstaafl says:

    that’s okay, joe, i want out too.

  45. currently says:

    Joe, You’re the New Long Legged Mack Daddy!

  46. springeraz says:

    Good job Joe…but….what’s a Libya?

  47. archangel says:

    -you bear an amazing resemblance to jack nicholson’s version of the joker.

    -I thought we agreed only to laugh about deaths in Afghanistan in private.

    -no worries, joe. I like chi-town better anyway…rahm says there’s no guns there.

  48. archangel says:

    -did you ask raddatz where she bought that crockpot she gave us for our wedding? ‘chelle wants another one.

  49. jw says:

    joe, why were you grinning like you ate someones pet poodle?

  50. Dohtimes says:

    …well Joe, now I know why the State Department asked for an increase in sedative supplies in that report that we never saw.

  51. rodney dill says:

    “Surely you’ll win”
    “Of course I’ll win, …. and don’t call me Shirley.”

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