Straight Line of the Day: After the Debate, Obama said to Biden…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

After the debate, Obama said to Biden…

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51 Comments

  1. How many times do I have to tell you not to giggle when you lie. I can’t believe you have been a liberal for so long and still can’t keep a straight face when lying.

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  2. … Wow! You did such a great job! You debated Ryan almost as well as the moderator!

    … Yes, yes, I’ll have someone from the Secret Service run out and get that new Pokemon game for your Game Boy… as soon as one of them is done with his nice lady visitor.

    … “meh”

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  3. …. “That was great. My debate performance looked smooth and professional compared to yours. Thanks Joe!”

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  4. . . . you stole my condescension. To the dog house with you! Yes, I licked it clean.

    . . . I think we need an intervention for you.

    . . . next time use helium to blow up the balloons, not laughing gas.

    . . . I told you my joke about the rabbi and the priest a week ago, and only NOW you get it?

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  5. … not as good as I did, Joe, but you were pretty fly for a white guy.

    … you better turn off that snide face with me, Joe. Shoot for obsequious. I’ll give you a few minutes.

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  6. After the debate, Obama said to Biden…

    … have you ever taken a midnight walk in Ft Marcy Park?

    … I told you I gave Martha a great wedding gift.

    … what, no 7-11 jokes? We might still win. I told you I want to be in my $35 million Hawaiian estate in February, living off the skim from the foreign campaign donations.

    … Great hustle Joe. I thought Ryan would lose it for sure. You were the biggest dick ever out there.

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  7. …man, Joe, you were amped up out there…those B-12 shots really seem to work…and you only cried a little when the doctor gave you that shot in your @ss.

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  8. ..hey Joe, it’s ok – you did your best and that all anyone can ask of you. If it were me up there I’d have gone to pieces for sure.

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  9. …Joe, I know I promised you a puppy if you didn’t totally mess up the debate, and I’m very very proud of you for being a good helper while Ms. Raddatz debated that big bad Paul Ryan, but I had some friends over last night and we got REAAAAALY baked. I mean we were MESSED UP. It was like…ok never mind. The point is we got hungry and ate your puppy….now come on….don’t be like that, Joe….hey…don’t cry….Joe….come on….hey…it’s not so bad, sport, I got you something to make it up to you. Look! It’s an Obamaphone! Only my specialest, most bestest supporters get one. And listen….when someone calls y….IF someone calls you, it goes “OBAMAPHONE!!!! WOOOOO!!!! ROMNEY SUCK!!!!” OK? Is that a smile? You can’t hide it….we saw that smile all night yesterday….I know it’s in there somewhere….THERE it is. See? Awww….you’re so cute when you laugh….now run along, I have some grown-up country destroy-ee stuff to do”.

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  10. Obama said to Biden, “Asssphincter says what?” to which Biden replied, “WHAT?! I know several asssphincters! They’re my mom and dad! They’re my constituents! I’m giving tax cuts to them!”

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  11. … Afghanistan, Lybia, Syria, Jordan, Israel, Qatar… you guys can’t just make up countries like that!

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  12. …Joe, I’m waiting to see what Son of Bob at IMAO thinks of the debate because he seems to know you better than I do!

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  13. …Joe, can you get Raddatz to quit interrupting so I can congratulate you?

    …can you get Chris Matthews to call me, he seemed to say he was dumping me for you when we were making pillow talk last night.

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  14. …Joe I got some good news and I got some bad news. Good news: Both MSNBC viewers though you won the debate. Bad news: turns out one of them was just a cat that sat on the remote.

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  15. …you were right, smiling does make it more believable when you lie through your teeth…no one can see your lips move.

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  16. …. keep this up and we’ll let you sit at the big kid table come the next Cabinet meeting

    … GOOD BOY! Aren’t you a good little VP? Yes you are! Yes you are! Sit. Stay. Good JoJo. (Scratches him behind the ears)

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  17. -you bear an amazing resemblance to jack nicholson’s version of the joker.

    -I thought we agreed only to laugh about deaths in Afghanistan in private.

    -no worries, joe. I like chi-town better anyway…rahm says there’s no guns there.

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  18. -did you ask raddatz where she bought that crockpot she gave us for our wedding? ‘chelle wants another one.

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  19. …well Joe, now I know why the State Department asked for an increase in sedative supplies in that report that we never saw.

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