Straight Line of the Day: I Got a Christmas Card From the White House. Inside…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
I got a Christmas card from the White House. Inside…
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December 14th, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Was Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer saying, “Just remember, when we go over the fiscal cliff… Obumbles bounce!”
December 14th, 2012 at 12:04 pm
There was a tax bill
December 14th, 2012 at 12:13 pm
…was the Obamacare regulation denying coverage for virgin pregnancies and births, and a voucher for a free home abortion kit.
December 14th, 2012 at 12:21 pm
…is a picture of Sandra Fluke, Lena Dunham, and Janeane Garofalo above the words “Ho, Ho, Ho”.
December 14th, 2012 at 12:21 pm
…. was a voucher good for -$20, payable to Obama, to cover his golf expenses.
December 14th, 2012 at 12:26 pm
… were a drawing of Mary & Joseph fawning over Baby Obummer in a manger, some festive dawg recipes, a black panther recruitment pamphlet, and a GPS tracking device badly hidden in the folds of the card.
December 14th, 2012 at 12:35 pm
was a solicitation for a contribution to the future presidential library.
was a letter telling me if I should send $1 to the five people at the top of this list, and add my name to the bottom. It assured me we would all be rich within weeks!
was this sentiment:
The Obama family wishes you the happiest winter season and peace for the New Year*
* This card does not signify an acceptance of any one specific religious holiday or observance. Please celebrate whatever holiday you personally connect with – including none at all.
God (or gods, or FSM) bless America (Or all nations, or none.)
December 14th, 2012 at 12:58 pm
…was nothing good for America
December 14th, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Merry Christmas… From the whole Cornball family.
December 14th, 2012 at 1:40 pm
…was a form letter that said, “Season Greetings. You are hereby ordered for induction into the Obama Volunteer Corps and to report to…
December 14th, 2012 at 2:05 pm
…it said “If You Can Read This, You Are Likely Not A Democrat And Have Just Committed Mail Fraud”.
…was the warning: If you’re dreaming of a white Christmas Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ho Ho Ho Honkey
December 14th, 2012 at 2:52 pm
…was a bill for my share of Obamas gift to himself.
December 14th, 2012 at 4:10 pm
a bill addressed to my unborn grandchildren.
December 14th, 2012 at 4:11 pm
… was a glossy of Joe Biden sitting in Santa’s lap. The caption said “I want taxes on the rich. And a pony.” So cute.
December 14th, 2012 at 4:27 pm
I got a Christmas card from the White House. Inside…was a letter soliciting campaign donations
December 14th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
..was a coupon for a free Twinkie.
December 14th, 2012 at 6:56 pm
… Was a form letter explaining that the White House was sending a Christmas card to every tax payer in the country as part of a stimulus plan to create jobs and keep the USPS working.
It was sent C. O. D.
December 14th, 2012 at 8:07 pm
…was the warning that I had exceeded my lifetime allowance of DemoCrapic Party insults.
However, the stamp was cancelled during the Carter Presidency.
Another example of DemoCrapic Party efficiency.
December 15th, 2012 at 12:35 am
I got a Christmas card from the White House…
When I opened it, it started playing this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAcaukw_26o
while a hand came out and tried to get my wallet.
I got my big crowbar from the garage, smashed the thing flat, then set it on fire.
The end.
December 15th, 2012 at 12:53 am
I Got a Christmas Card From the White House. Inside was a tiny GPS tracker and a questionnaire.
December 15th, 2012 at 2:46 am
…was a photo of an assortment of all sorts of nuts and fruitcakes. Obama’s entire cabinet must have been in the picture.
December 15th, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Was a request that you send your Christmas gifts to his campaign, and to tell your loved ones that instead of gifts to you, to request they send the equivalent in cash to his offshore bank account.
December 17th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
…was a reminder that Obama had a son who looked like Jesus, because his son WAS Jesus. Also that worship of Obama was to resume on the 26th as scheduled.
December 17th, 2012 at 7:01 pm
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