It’s soon time to start the make Frank rich and famous club. First, I need a cool name for it. Then I need benefits for members. One will be that when I’m rich and famous, I’ll give you proof that you know someone rich and famous, which will include getting and e-mail from the great Frank J. (as I will one day be known). Also, if target dates are met, there will be greater benefits, such as if I become rich and famous by the end of next year, everyone is invited to a yacht party (when I have a yacht). Please put suggestions for benefits in the comment section. When things get started up, I’ll start a page of everyone in the make Frank rich and famous club (people who will one day have a powerful friend).
As for the readership drive, the poll says a zillion should be the target, but I think I’ll go with the one that got the second most votes that is an actual number: 10,000. 10,000 happens to be a nice round number, and, if I can reach it, then I’ll better be able to get the intellectual book I’m working on published by showing I already have a base of readers. Thus, getting more readers is key to my richness and famousness.
So, what are the benefits of me being rich and famous? I’ll tell you:
* Having someone rich and famous who writes for the blogosphere will bring more attention to blogs in general. People will say, “Hey, if someone rich and famous reads blogs, then I should too.”
* Currently the blogosphere has a dearth of perspectives from rich and famous people.
* The annoying opinions of other celebrities will be replaced with my more entertaining opinions. “Frankly, other than as a harpoon target, I’ve never understood the purpose of a whale.”
* If I become famous enough, maybe I’ll draw some wrath away from the Jews.
ISLAMIC EXTREMIST 1: This is all because of the joooos… and somewhat because of Frank.
ISLAMIC EXTREMIST 2: Kill the jooos… and smack Frank.
- Being rich, I’ll be able to have even more disdain for the poor from my high perch. The poor need more disdain to motivate them.
- I can buy a Senate seat like Corizine (well, next year I’ll turn old enough to buy a House of Representatives seat). If elected, I’ll not care about reelection and punch anyone in the opposing party who mouths off to me.
- I’ll be happy. Don’t you want me to be happy?
So, the benefits of making me rich and famous are many, so let’s get to it. Put your ideas in the comments section and I’ll start taking names soon.
Porn.
You could pander. Which raises the question, if Winnie the Pooh sold out, would that make him a Pander Bear?
I’m trying to trademark the name ‘Make Frank J Rich and Famous Club’ so that a few crumbs fall my way from the table. Anybody know a trademark lawyer that works cheap?
I’ll be starting the “I read Frank J. before he sold out and started playing arenas” club. Our main purpose will be to look down our noses at all of the johnny-come-lately types. We’ll also have a lively trade in obscure bootleg posts.
Hmm…Maybe a Permalink? Above the losers maybe?
Frank, I think you should call the members of the Make Frank Famous club “The F Troop.”
Frank, you should reconsider the benefits you have already stated for those of us who are stupid enough to make you rich and famous. For instance, getting an email from someone who is rich and famous is no big deal. Hell, all you have to do is email your congressman or senator and offer to contribute to the re-election fund, you will be deluged with personal emails from famous legislators. (except for hillary, who everyone knows is much too famous and important to be bothered about money!)
Also, many people become seasick on yachts.
How about this: You promise to provide prescription drug benefits to every last living human on the planet under the age of 99. Oh, crap, that just got done. oh, well.
memo to peter’s post: i know a great many lawyers, none of whom are willing to work cheap.
mikey
I’m sorry but Scrappleface can’t hold a candle to Frank J. Oh and today is my 20th birthday, offically making me one of those “Hot chicks in their twenties who are single and find [Frank J] irresistibly handsome and witty.” Yipee.
Anonymous girl-poster…. BOOOOO!
lol. Hey baby, like fat kids?
While Don’s “The F Troop” has some potential, I prefer the name “Friends of Frank” or maybe the “Further Frank’s Fortunes Fanclub” (FFFF, or F4, or 4F, or F2*2, or – well you get the picture)
Or better yet maybe “Famous Frank’s Happy Fun Club” and we could all carry clubs with Frank’s picture on it to use on people who don’t know about Frank. I bet they’d learn real quick if we showed them Frank’s face up-close like (and often – at a high velocity). Plus we could collect money from these newly introduced Frankites and send it to Frank to help him with the getting rich part. That’s all legal, right?
Frank, when you need a white lap cat so that other powerful types make you serious, I can hook you up.
Cat’s name is Tristan, and he likes to be stroked behind the left ear. He also makes an inquisitive meow when called.
hln
How about…
“I AM THE OTHER FRANK RICH”
ducks
Name: The Frankenphiles . . or not
Benefits:
A Case of Ammo (our choice)
Interview with Buck the Marine
A Chomps of our own.
The Cult of Frank –
Benefits: We get to wave at your gold Rolls-Royces as you drive by AND we can annoy people in airports whenever we please.
Plus, you give us all Frank Incense and Mirth. You know, gifts fit for a king!
Orion
MORNING ROUND UP
First of all, a Giant Thanks to everyone who has hit the tip jar. If you haven’t done so, don’t fret. You will be forgiven – all you have to do is join the exclusive Give Don Money Club. Now,…
Maybe just Rich,Frank.
Just avoid getting an annoying, liberal ex-wife.
how do I get into the make me rich board? There are things I need, & am willing to keep up a info page as things progress, I have seen this done on some sites, but don,t know to get on them! Cam you help,& how can I help you? Peggy
Trade Mark name for Frank…
The F F F F Club…
(You fill in the F’s)
Dear Brother Salam-O-Aliekum
It is stated that I am married man and 35 years of age, And having 2 school going children and I am only supporter of my family my wife is disabled and she is using artificial leg.
I am jobless from last 2 years. I am not getting any job and because of this jobless condition I am facing my health problem and I have taking anti-depression treatment from specialist and which money needs for my children school fees and meal I am spending it for my medicine.
We don’t have 2-time meal for our children and don’t have any source of income.
Dear Brother what crises I am facing Allah knows and my heart. Brother every one in this society ignoring me and I am very hopeless and pray to Allah that I get job to support my family and fight against all these crises and hardships and get rid from my depression.
Being aHuman being I need your attention for my job or help me financially.so that i can start my small business and then fight against all these crises and harships.
I pray for your long life and good health in my prayers to Allah. . May Allah give you everything, which you desire.
Yours brother Shakeel
Peshawar city.
Pakistan