(A Filthy Lie)
I got an e-mail from Glenn Reynolds last night. Seems he read Frank’s post about letting Africa starve and figured out a way for us all to become stinking rich by supporting Frank’s plan. His e-mail explaining it all is in the extended entry [CAUTION! – tasteless insensitivity ahead]:
I was very troubled by the recent report that Social Security will become insolvent by 2041. Then I realized that we don’t need government handouts. We can all make a fortune the old fashioned way – by running a fake charity.
Frank’s “Let Africa Starve” post gave me the perfect idea. All I need is $1 from each member of the Alliance of Tree Frogs (or whatever you guys are called) for start-up capital, and we can sell a celebrity recording to raise money to starve Africans. I figure if I cut the Alliance in on the skim, you bastards will stop telling filthy lies about me.
I think we could get bushels of cash just by reworking that old “We Are the World” song a bit. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
WE STARVE THE WORLD
U.S.A. Hates Africa
There comes a time when we heed a certain call
When the world must starve together as one
Not enough people dying
Oh, and it’s time to lend a hand to death
Starvation’s the greatest gift of all
We can’t go on pretending day by day
That someone, somehow will soon pull their tubes
We’re all a part of God’s great big family
And the truth – you know they don’t really want to eat
( CHORUS )
We starve the world, we snuff out children
We are the ones who take their food away
so let’s start killing
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re ending all their lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Come kill with me
Well, send’em all to hell
So they know that no one cares
Withhold food ’til they’re finally dead and free
As the courts have shown us
By killing them stone dead
It’s not murder, it’s just lending a helping hand
( REPEAT CHORUS )
They’re all down and out
There seems no hope at all
But through our friend starvation
There’s no way we can fall
Well, well, well, let’s realize
That one change can only come
When we yank their feeding tubes as one
( REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE )
And after all the Africans are dead, their puppies will be mine for the blending! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Meanwhile, let’s have no more of this “Instapundo Delenda Est” business, eh partners?
Bow Down Before Me,
Glenn Reynolds
first!
Schramm, you are lame
ha! screw you stevenson, you jealous hippy.
Love it, except the line:
“So they know that no one care”
We are starving them BECAUSE we care. They should not have to suffer by living in africa, or making crap for US consumers!
Besides, they’ll all just grow up and be tormented by having large sums of money in untouchable Swiss bank accounts.
Hey…isn’t social security going broke? Why the hell do all of these useless old people need all this money anyway when we have the “Michael Schaivo Solution” at our disposal. It’s painless and humane. Starve all the old “useless” people and let us healthy active people use the money on useful activities…And then there’s Medicare…and Medicade…and…
damn you harvey, i’ve had this song stuck in my head for at least an hour now
damn you and your alliance of tree frogs.
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
Scamnation, you rock. Harvey, you suck, because now I have that song rolling around in MY head, too, and that’s serious business for me because I’m a musician and I can’t afford to have this vile excuse for music swimming around in my grey matter. I’m turning on my U2 CD right now to chase away the garbage.