Just when you thought crazy people couldn’t more crazy, they come out with even more crazy ideas.
It’s crazy!
To save species like the elephants and lions, some scientists want to transplant them here, to North America.
Yeah, that’s right; let them roam wild.
Now, as amusing as it may be to watch from my window golfers fleeing from a charging elephant, what if the elephant comes crashing through my wall? Does my insurance cover that?
And I already have alligators and sharks to deal with in Florida; are people really going to add lions to the mix? I mean, when my kitten, Sydney, bites me, that hurts enough. A lions gotta be even ten times more painful!
And you know what happens when new species are introduced to a foreign ecosystem: the animals often over breeds from a lack of natural predators. Is the alligator going to take down an elephant? The common fox? Even the few packs of wolves we have left wouldn’t dare touch one. We’ll be overrun with elephants until they’re worse than pigeons. And, I do not have a carry gun that could take down an angry elephant.
Sorry, but we American are just to used to animals like squirrels and deer – cute fuzzy animals who can’t hurt us but we occasionally run over. Adding a beast to the mix that can run us over is just a little too interesting.
Mmmm. Elephant steaks. I’ve gotta get a bigger grill.
Another problem you haven’t considered…we have flocks of geese now using our city as a yearlong resort. The goose dung is everywhere near water…now replace the geese with elephants. See the problem?
Look on the bright side. We’d have an opportunity to make bigger SUVs (hopefully, we can make them fireproof to keep eco-nuts from burning them down at SUV dealers) that can occasionally run over bigger animals like elephants and giraffe. Maybe we can make them heavy enough to compress the larger animals into oil in the process of running them over.
Here in Ohio we have a place called ‘The Wilds.’
Many endangered species reside there; fenced in, of course. We have Rhinos (I saw a baby 3 days old last year), giraffes (I fed 1), different types of antelope like beasts and lots of furry critters running all over the place.
It’s a fun place to visit just outside of Zanesville.
I didn’t see any monkeys, though.
McWert,
I hadn’t even thought of monkeys!
:^O
Alert: This is a plot by teh Liberals who see the Liberal/Conservative civil war coming. Knowing that they don’t have any guns and would never be able to learn how to use one in time, they hope to transplant Elephants and Lions here, assuming (lol) that the grateful beasts will side with them and eat all the conservatives! lol
There are Liberal training camps springing up all over the USA. I snuck up on one and saw a bunch of girleymen trying out the Tarzan scream. Yes, it brought tears to my eyes.
What a coincidence! I’m listening to Ted Nugent having a debate with a kooky environmentalist vegan on a local detroit radio show right now.
His best comment I think was:
“Everytime you open your mouth you sound like a screeching monkey!”
It’s like he’s channeling FrankJ!
And, I do not have a carry gun that could take down an angry elephant.
Well, this will give you a good excuse to get one.
Frank,
Carry a bigger gun!!
And, I do not have a carry gun that could take down an angry elephant.
I have a suggestion
With the 4-inch barrel it’s really quite petite. For an elephant gun.
I’m totally in favor of the idea. Sure, like most people I’ve traded some ivory, but I like the idea because it’s for the children.
Don’t they know what happens when you introduce non-native species to an ecosystem? Obviously, those “scientists” don’t watch the Simpsons.
Personally, I’m looking forward to larger game to hunt, kill, and consume. The local options just aren’t enough to feed a large Utah family anymore. 🙂
Hooray! This is wonderful for all of us rich Republicans! Think about it:
No more needing to be immunized!
No fear of tribal warfare!
No hours-long plane ride!
We could have safaries in our own backyards!
Methinks Mythilt’s on the right track. In fact, already picked out my new ride for that big game excursion to Montana (circa 2010).
In terms of big critter firepower, though, you all need to take it to the next level. Remember The Jackal, think spawl, and don’t be afraid to follow old Bruce’s example…testing your rig out on some punk canuck!
As long as hunters are allowed to thin the herds, we don’t have to worry about the transplanted species over-populating.
Perhaps we could transplant the environmentalists to Africa and see if they propagate.
Everybody seems to always forget Antarctica. Here is a HUGE land mass with hardly any wild animals free for the taking…
//Perhaps we could transplant the environmentalists to Africa and see if they propagate.//
Send them down to the south pole with the displaced Muslim terrorists instead!!! Documentaries galore!!
TEEEEEEEJ
Wierder yet, i stumbled across some nutcase’s website saying the African animal transplanting plan is evidence that the evil Bush clan are planning to nuke the rest of the world… yep, they were serious. Everything is a big haliburton conspiracy to them.
oh, and i actually wouldn’t mind a few extras monkeys around…
and another thing, they’re convinced Bush isn’t in Texas for his vacation. He actually snuck the whole family over to Saudi Arabia to hide from an israeli assasination attempt, because you know they actually did 9/11 you know. yep, theu believe that stuff. sorry i didn’t save the link.
I know I have a problem with pink elephants trying to kill me. They’re wearing turbans for some reason to.
That’s bad isn’t it?
Ehh,the famous Ivory hunter, WDM ‘Karamojo’ Bell slew legions of Elephant with the 7mm Mauser during the glory days of raping the environment. Of course, not that many people these days is as well versed in elephant anatomy as he was.
I’m always up for an excuse for a new rifle. Maybe a Ruger 77 in .416 Rigby.
Years ago, maybe a decade, there was a movement to bring the grizzly back to the Los Angeles mountains. There were people who seriously thought it was a good idea, and justified it by saying that we killed the grizzlies and we owed them their homes back.
Of course we killed the grizzlies. It was us or them. I’m kind of glad that the grizzlies didn’t win.