And by top 6, I don’t mean the best 6 singers of the season. Obviously.
I forgot to pick the songs everyone should sing this week. But Sa called and told me what Kellie sang, and I couldn’t be happier. This is going to be fantastic.
LOL, Ryan says that it was bad luck for the ladies last week, because Ace left. Frank and I both thought, one of the ladies went home.
Anyway, tonight it’s love songs with Andrea Bocelli. And David Foster (who’s produced Celine Dion a million times and written a million of her songs if I recall correctly) worked with him on this latest album, so he’s there helping out. And Foster’s like, “Are these the finalists?” when they vocalize. And showing Foster doing the critiques, I want him on every single week to critique and coach and yell.
IDOLS 01 and IDOLS 07… Katharine is singing “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston, written by David Foster. Katharine looks wonderful in this yellow dress with wow, that’s a lot of boobage. Ok, when she walks around in the dress, it’s not so good. I changed my mind on the great banana peel she’s wearing. The hair and eyeshadow are great. The facial expressions were awful. Aight. Down to vocal business. Sa, I must absolutely disagree with you. She was awful. After such a great performance last week, I was really hopeful she’d kill the competition this week. She didn’t. It was screechy, weak, and flat. Bad bad bad. Randy says “nah, dawg”. Paula says “you’re pretty and I love the boobs”. Simon says “red, blue, green, green, yellow”… I mean Simon says you’re not Whitney so you shouldn’t have tried it.
IDOLS 02 AND IDOLS 08… Elliott is going to sing with a giant satin baby blue tie on. Elliott is singing “A Song For You” by Donny Hathaway. It was awesome, the entire song. That’s all I’m saying. Randy hates the arrangement. Paula is crying, her glycerin is above her eyes, under her eyes, and the collagen in her lips has leaked out. Simon is laughing at Paula and really trying to contain himself. I’m in heaven. HEAVEN! Thank you, Paula. Thank you so much! Oh, and Simon liked it.
AND [AFTER BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?]… Kellie is singing… this is going to be phenomenal… “Unchained Melody”. Lemme tell ya, I snorted this entire song at church camp one year for talent night, and it’s never been done as well as my snortage. So I have no hope that Kellie will do a good job. Kellie’s wearing her prom hair. She’s talking about Ghost and the pottery scene. “Isn’t that a cute scene? I don’t have anyone to play pottery with.” Yeah, that’s like one of the most erotic movie scenes ever. Real cute and playful. Wait, has she developed thighs? If so, I might have to start liking her out of solidarity. Kellie. I love you. This is what the Chinese will torture dissenters with in the future. You came through for me, and so did the judges, finally. That poor dead Righteous Brother is turning in his grave. Randy: “Dawg, you know you butchered that right?” Paula: “You’re not raising the bar each week. You’re pretty.” Simon: “It’s like the Hindenburg crashed into the Titanic.” Ok, actually that was Frank, before Kellie even sang. Simon: “I thought the torture would never end, it was so boring and monotonous and robotic and — wait! wait! I’m not finished!” LOL, They actually cut him off because he trashed the performance for so long. Frank almost felt sorry for Kellie. Me? No.
IDOLS 04 AND IDOLS 10… Paris, with her 19th hairdo since getting to the voting rounds, is singing “The Way We Were”. Her head is bouncing a lot. First half is extremely boring. Second half is terrible, whiny, and screechy, not to mention offkey in a lot of spots. Randy liked it a’ight. Paula thought she oversang. Simon thought it was a good vocal but old-fashioned. Simon not happy about being cut off last time.
So. All the girls were bad tonight. Elliott’s the only good one so far tonight. And I reiterate about David Foster. Every week. Please.
IDOLS 05 AND IDOLS 11… Captain Tightpants is back. That’s unfortunate. Cap’n Tightpants with the velvet tux jacket. I really wish he’d stop dressing like Elvis. Anyway, Taylor’s singing “Just Once” by James Ingram (I think). I still don’t think he’s ever hit a bad note, maybe in his life. Great vocal, great finish, great night for Taylor. And no crazy dancing, yay! Randy didn’t like it but likes the tightpants suit. Paula didn’t like it. Simon thought it was hotel lounge singery, and Paula cut Simon off with a big jump up out of her seat and rah rah cheer cheer we love you Taylor, Simon’s crazy even though I said I didn’t like it either!!! Simon: Again not happy about being cut off, this time by Paula instead of Ryan and the music. Anyway, I think the judges were wrong on this one.
IDOLS 06 AND IDOLS 12… Chris is singing “Have You Really Ever Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams. David Foster got Chris to lie on the floor to learn to sing with his body and not just his throat. Wow. I don’t know what to think about what he’s wearing. He’s on stage with a guitarist on each side, which is great for effect. This song has always been very Don Juany for me. Very Mexico. That reminds me. I made chicken chimichangas tonight, and they were awesome. My mom loves this song, of course. I’ve always been iffy on it. So to Chris… Beginning is very good and vulnerable. One low note was “pitchy”, but overall great quality… The high notes on “tenderness” and “treat her right” — he got there, but with his facial expressions, you could tell he wasn’t sure he would make it. He made it though. I thought the performance was excellent. Randy: “We love you!” Paula: Jumping out of her seat, sending out seal-claps with a forward motion – what is that? A dolphin clap? “We love you!” Simon: “Good song choice, great performance, very sexy song.” Yay! However, I’ll bet tomorrow I’ll read on a bunch of blogs and boards: “Yeah, it was great, but he did a song that Bryan Adams already did before! He cheated!”
So the men killed and the chicks dogged it tonight. In order of vocals… Ouch, it’s a severe tossup between Elliott and Chris for top spot (we voted for both 4 times)… I have to give it to Chris, maybe because it was a little sexier, and maybe just because he was in the final slot. But Elliott was only behind by a hair. Ok, so…
Chris****
Elliott****
Taylor**
Paris
Katharine
Kellie
Prediction: The girls will be the bottom 3. Going home? I think it’s finally Kellie’s turn. Wait, it’s been her turn for-like-ever. It’s either her or Paris. Ok, yeah, I’m going with Kellie.
UPDATE: Related thoughts from Tracey, Cullen, Dean, Althouse.
kat — yikes, what’s up with the vpl — i thought it was quite a bit better than the judges did, but i’m a mcphever fan — the dress was way way way too tight and revealing — as it turned out, it was fortunate she wore underwear since her dress was bursting buttons all over the place
elliot — this guy bores me — i wish he didn’t, cause i like him — paula’s weeping: pathetic or insane? you be the judge
kellie — “i don’t have a boyfriend, and need someone to mold a clay phallus with” — pitiful (and i’m not even talking about the singing . . . no need to state the obvious) — and i can’t stand the “doe in a headlights” to save her from getting crucified thing — it’s almost as old as the country hick act
paris — “bor-ing, musty, schlocky cover, bor-ing” — she’s back to the bobblehead thing
taylor — he’s slipped back into lazy/lousy mode — and he really needs to wear clothes that fit — just because you can stuff yourself into a size 34 pants when you’re a size 38, does not mean you will look good doing it
chris — am i crazy to think that chris should sell-out and be our generation’s michael bolton? he could make a fortune doing soft rock covers
Chris
Katharine (come on–that was pretty darn good and certainly better than whitney could do today)
Elliott
Taylor
Paris
Kellie
Right now, DialIdol has Kellie and Paris neck and neck at the bottom. Ya know when a blind man can tell you’re blonde….. well, just sayin’.
I hope Kellie stays just to torment you…Damn that pic of the dog was hilarious! LOL!!!!!!
Glad I’m not the only one who wants to see Kellie P. go.
Should’ve been her last week, and not Ace.
Nuff said.
I rank them
Chris
Elliott
Paris
Katharine
Taylor
Kellie
Someone PLEASE put Kellie out of our misery!
Ron
Katharine was hot, sexy as hell and quite good. I ran it back a couple of times after the insane comments by Randy, Moron and Simon to make sure I heard it right the first time. It was great.
And she flashed her panties. What more do you people need?
I think Paris is leaving even though it should be Kellie. I have a sneaking suspicion that the residents of Kellie’s hometown actually had some of those new-fangled telli-fone thingimajigs installed in their homes when she made the finals. And then they went and learnt how to dial them. Dang.
I got a good laugh out of Kellie’s tidal wave bangs. I kept imagining little surfers catching the “big wave” right there above that dumb expression on her face. It was slightly distracting.
Kellie completely blows chunks. She’s never been good enough for the top 12, and it’s a travesty that she’s in the top 6! Time for the Ballsy Barbie to hit the road.
By the way, Elliot kicked pinkytoe last night! I voted for him 10 times. I voted for Chris a couple of times… but not as many because I knew that he’d get the majority of votes anyway. Elliot is the underdog that I want to go all the way… at least to the third spot. He deserves a record deal. I’d buy his CD, as long as he doesn’t pull a Bo Bice and record an entire album in a genre that he’s not cut out for.
Awesome dog picture… I laughed my pinkytoe off! 🙂 The pickle on the dog collar was the frosting on the cake. 🙂
First, Is anyway else tired of the Ryan/Simon back and forth. Simon is harsh, but these “idols” want people to buy there albums by the millions and go to there shows. They should be judged on this basis. Seacrest needs to get out of LA and visit real people. I could do without Ryan and Paula on this show.
Sarah, is the poodle for Kellie or Paris. I see the “Unchained Dog”, but Paris does have her groomed hairstyles.
I agree the girls were poor this week, but I didn’t think Kat was as bad as the judges portrayed her (I got McPhever). Paris is light years better than Kellie.
I thought Taylor’s performance was excellent and boring. Technically correct can still be uninteresting.
I have never been an Elliot fan. I simply wouldn’t buy his albums. However, I respect that he is a good singer. And Kenny G is a good saxophone player.
I’m so glad that David Foster pointed out Chris’s flaw (really all of the Idols’ flaw). Chris sounded better on the ground; unfortunately, he stood up for his performance. At least he sings a song with passion without being over-the-top like Taylor.
I’m not looking forward to the last few weeks. Simon deserves his time, especially if we get to see punch drunk and emotional Paula for 90 seconds. Kellie needs to go. Ryan needs to drop the improv.
If Kellie doesn’t go home I’ll have no choice but to go on a statewide killing spree.
If Kellie doesn’t go home I’ll have no choice but to go on a statewide killing spree.
Elliot – best performance of his so far – probably better than any this season except for Katharine’s “Someone to Watch Over Me”;
Paris – weird song choice for someone under 50, but done very well;
Katharine – could have been rated lower without the great visuals and stage presence – she shouldn’t try beltissimo when the softer tones can melt anyone;
Taylor – as said above, boring;
Chris – should have sung the way he did on the floor rather than the howl/scream thing he always does;
Kellie – Simon nailed it when he said it was robotic.