Alice brought to my attention this web site where the Obama transition team is accepting questions from the American Public.
The website brought to my attention that they are no longer accepting such questions until next week.
The calendar brought to my attention that it’s now next week, and they’re STILL not accepting questions. Probably because they’ve all pretty much been variations of “how much did Obama offer Blagojevich to pick Valerie Jarrett as his replacement?”.
Nevertheless, should That One start accepting questions again, I have my list ready:
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* As perpetrator of the one of the most successful Ponzi schemes in history, do you think Bernie Madoff would be qualified to run the Social Security Administration?
* Star Trek Voyager featured Tuvok, a black Vulcan. Do you agree that this blackness was a pointless redundancy, since the Vulcan character Spock in the original Star Trek series was already constantly subjected to verbal attacks about his racial inferiority by a cranky, loudmouthed guy from Georgia?
* If we let you implement nationwide, government-run healthcare, will you agree to pass a law requiring Joss Whedon to make Season 2 of Firefly?
* During your exploration of ways to end the war in Iraq, have you ever seriously considered military victory?
* Do you feel that the historicalness of your election as America’s first African-American President was outshined by Joe Biden’s election as America’s first Gafferican-American Vice-President?
* What the hell is arugula, anyway?
* How will we be able to measure global warming if all the world’s mercury is used to make compact fluorescent bulbs instead of thermometers?
* Instead of raising income taxes, couldn’t the government raise revenue by selling advertising space on US currency? A Wal-Mart smiley would be a big improvement over that creepy eyeball floating over the pyramid.
* Wouldn’t the best solution to the illegal immigration problem be to just finish that little “project” we were working on in 1848 and make ALL of them Americans?
* If oil is bad and guns are bad, does this mean that Jed Clampett is Satan?
What’s on YOUR list?
*Will you do what Bush never did and commute the sentences of Officers Ramos and Campeon?
*Will you man up and openly smoke in public? I have to admit that would be pretty cool, a president who can dramatically light up during a press conference and gesture emphatically with it, then flick the butt off to one side the way only smokers seem to know how to do.
*As a followup to Mr. Harvey’s Wal-Mart question, why did they ditch the annoying Smiley Face for a Kurt Vonnegut Self Portrait?
*Has anyone checked Helen Thomas’s pulse lately. She hasn’t moved for some time.
*Does it make you uncomfortable to know that your every utterance sends Chris Matthews into fits of writhing ecstacy? Me, I think that is uber-ghey.
On a related note from the Times of London
A good news day for Obama
You can say what you want to about Obama. As long as it’s positive. At least that’s the stance of the Washington Post’s classified ads department.
They are offering readers the chance to run an inaugural message to Obama for just $10. But Media Bistro picks up on something buried in the small print.
All ads must be congratulatory in nature.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2008/12/you-can-say-wha.html
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlDC/newspapers/wapo_only_positive_obama_ads_please_103673.asp?c=rss
Will you issue a presidential decree that men’s figure skating is like way gay and is banned forever in the US?
If Obama lights up during a press conference and then flicks his butt at some idiot reporter, I’m voting for him next time!
– Would selling tickets to the upcoming Death Match between Michelle and Hillary pay for the GM bailout?
– What do you do with the slobber that covers your person every day from the loving media? Can it be used as bug spray or something?
– Is there any minimum wage increase that you wouldn’t support? If $9.50 is so good, why not $100 an hour? or $1000 and hour? Heck – make it a million bucks an hour and everybody’s a millionaire!
– Since America is doing exactly everything that Japan did and that has been so unsuccessful in getting their economy out of a depression for 20 years – what else ya got? Maybe every family can get a Hello Kitty?
– Since certain posts in your cabinet must be allocated based on the shape of a person’s genitals or skin color, do you think its right for everybody in America to assign these characteristics to jobs they might offer? I.E. some jobs are only for women or blacks or hispanics – just like you?
– Just how much of the American economy are you willing to destroy with carbon cap-and-trade? 10%? 20%?
* Is it true you’re setting up printing presses in every state to keep them afloat? In Washington, we think that’s a great way to handle our mushrooming five+ billion dollar deficit as our state collapses.
* To avoid declaring martial law in 2009, don’t you think your proposed trillion dollar stimulus package is just NOT enough? Come on – it’s only money! HOPEfully, you can spread the CHANGE around better than that!
*When are you going to start up that civilian asskicker death squad thing? I’m getting worried about my job security and need something with a future in it. Besides, I can keep my guns that way.
*When are you going to legalize dope so I don’t have to avoid all the friends I have had who are never tested and just smoke away like you?
*How much for the little girl?
*What makes you an unqualified, corrupt, stammering, drug using, never had a job, cheating, lying, college flunking, muslim loving, half-breed, anti-american PIECE OF SH!T think I am going to support anything you say, do, or think about for the next 8-10 years?
May God almighty bless you in such a way that the sparks from heaven are burned into the eyes of all your deciples for the rest of their lives.
Hmm, completely screw over our nation for the rest of time with moronic government run health care, but we get season 2 of Firefly. Or, no Firefly, no communist utopia.
That’s a tough choice. But if he goes with the communist nation and no season 2 of Firefly, then it’s time to break out the guns and start the revolution.
WOLVERINES!!!
* As President, will you help America’s chickens find a place to roost?
It’s a trap! Joe the Plumber already found out what happens when you question God-King Obamuhhhh. Sure, he’s going to put us all in camps anyway, but why put yourself at the top of the list by questioning the Dark Lord? We need all the time we can get to arm up!
WOLVERINES!
* Will you offer Senator McCain the new White House position of “Guy who stands near me in the hope that Hillary is a bad shot”?
Almost anything would be worth another season of “Firefly”……
Almost!
Would you consider a new Ussjimmycarter Omnibus Stimulus Gobs of Money Transfer 2008/2009 Bill if Ussjimmycarter were to “support” your re-election campaign with equally large Pacels of Cash?
I know what arugula is and I like it.
But then again I *am* a girl.
Well, I would support the 2009 Ussjimmycarter Omnibus Stimulus Act as long as that wealth were redistributed to this Jimmy, in keeping with the 2009 As Long As I Get Mine Redistribution To Me Act !
Do you support a ban of smoking on White House grounds? If so, where are you going to sneak one?
In as much as you have defined “change” as giving away stuff to people for free, will you support the installation of change machines in public places that actually dispense free change to people? I mean, like rolls of quarters would be good.
Marko…I think McCain has applied for the position as the White House greeter.
Dear Mr. Osam…I mean…Obama,
*Is it true you are going to outfit Air Force One with spinners and hydraulics to resemble the aircraft from “Soul Plane?”
*Are you going to bring back the “Army of One” ad campaign, as just with the Clintonista regime, that will become literal?
*Do you mean, among other things, when you pledge friendlier relations with Mexico, that your post campaign slogan will now be, “Pot in every chicken?”
*Will your current budget allow you some theme music (Reference; “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka!”)?
*Exactly when will you start paying my mortgage and my gas bill? If not, do you have positions open for TelePrompTer typists or bucket removers?
I like the site. I just hope someone reads the RANT I posted to ’em.
There will be blood.
VWAB
VFTRT
Fuc BO
Once your team is assembled,
will the entire US Constitution
be used as White House toilet paper,
or just the Bill of Rights ?
How long before you come for the Jews, oh sorry I mean Christians? Wait maybe that is the real question, how long before you come for the Christians and the Jews?
Bet it’s not long at all. Some of us Christians are kind of gamey, stringy, portly and old. I hope they’ve got enough lions and that they’re hungry.
Why the hell is my mortgage company saying I owe them a check this month? I thought you were going to pay it?!?!? Also, I still haven’t received my gas card, is there an 800# I can call about this?
How about a straight answer to ANY question. The 3 most popular answers Obama has been using in his press confrerences;
“We’re not talking about that right now. Do you have another question? ”
“It woiuld be inappropriate to discuss that while the investigation is ongoing”
“The transition team is working in that and we will be making an announcement shorly.”
“
Oh sure, just like the big three I go after mine and then some sorry ass whiner like Jimmy (UAW) comes along with his hand out and wants some of the action! This is not the country that I knew!
As a cool looking African American male we expected to see babes in your cabinet. Instead it would appear that you have appointed…umm…how to put this delicately…hags. Was Michelle part of your cabinet selection team and will she continue to assess female “talent” for your administration?
Let’s face it Mamabamalamadingdong is simply Hitlery with a tan. Some song different verse……a funeral dirge to be exact, with a New Orleans twist of course.
Did some research on Sedition. It was very illuminating.
As for my question: Why should you and your entire party not be tried under the Sedition Act of 1918? Come on you’re a Constitutional scholar, surely YOU’VE heard of it.
I have and I’m not even a lawyer, a professor or a seditionist. Go figure. Must be time for some serious re-education, right YOUR MAJESTY. (he’s beginning to remind me of the Red Queen in “Through the Looking Glass . She opined:
“Well, in our country,” said Alice, still panting a little, “you’d generally get to somewhere else — if you run very fast for a long time, as we’ve been doing.”
“A slow sort of country!” said the Queen. “Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!” )
Ladies and gentlemen time to lace up your high tops, dust off your running shorts and get out the Gatoraid. We’ll be running for our lives in quick order so best do your stretching now.
Well, it’s -94 F here this morning and where’s my #%*@%#$ bailout, u$$jimmyomnibu$ ??!!! Get hot or the UAW in Michigan will enslave Minnesota and to produce the MiniDeSoto. That’s what you’ll be drivin’.
*What the hell is arugula, anyway?
This could be the most important question of the next eight years. But only because it will be the only one he does answer.
Applause for Michele. She has learned from Hilary’s mistakes. There’s no way she will let any woman into the White House who is anywhere near as attractive as she is.
I will look forward to sending in my questions too. One note on the Compact Flourescent bulbs. Why does a small fishing lure come with a lead warning, but a case of CFL’s come only with information praising how great it is and nothing disclosing it’s toxic contents? Hmmm, that question kinda reminds me of news stories about The Obamessiah.
Merry Christmas!!!!
Which reminds me read the labels on your Christmas lights and outdoor decorations.
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If you pass a law allowing a second season of “Firefly” could you also make Fox and WB allow Summer Glau to continue making “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”?
Will buckets become required headwear?
Regarding widespread rumors that you hold communistic beliefs: are you a Stalinist commie or Trotskyite commie?
Regarding widespread rumors that you are a Muslim: are you Sunni or Shiite?
Are you ideologically opposed to the idea of “fairness,” or do you just think taxes sound like a boatload of fun?
When you overturn the second amendment, will citizens be forbidden to wear short-sleeve shirts?
If one of your daughters displays insufficient amounts of blind obedience to your regime, will you punish her with having a baby? [Interpret this question as you will…]
Rather than instituting a 100% tax rate, wouldn’t it be easier to just not pay people in the first place?
In the interest of having the most qualified individual in the White House in charge of the country, do you plan to surrender the Presidency to a stack of pancakes?
Do you plan to have an affair with Monica Lewinski, and if so, is there any chance of getting that up on Youtube?
If I want free money, do I simply have to whine loudly enough until you give me an economic bailout, or am I required to prove that I have done nothing to deserve said bailout?
Hypothetically, would having a brain placed in your head make your head to large to fit in a bucket?
Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?
OK, Gonna show my stupidity here: What is “Firefly”?
* Can I have a pony?
They’ve released the top question.