A few weeks ago, I got a “Second Notice” from the Republican party. As I mentioned then, I’ve never been a member of the Republican party — or any political party, for that matter. So, why do they send me things that are written as if I’m a Republican? Probably because I sent money to two presidential candidates (Fred Thompson, then John McCain) this past election cycle.

Or, so I thought.

Turns out that there may be another reason. What’s that reason, you ask?

I’m glad you asked. The reason seems to be: they’re idiots. Or incompetent. Or incompetent idiots. Suffering from idiotic incompetence.

Why would I say such a thing?

I’m glad you asked. Even though it does seem that you ask a lot of questions.

I got another letter from the Republicans. Yay!

This one, though, is not just a “SECOND NOTICE,” as was the last one proclaimed in big red letters. This one came in one of those envelopes wit a big window on the front. Like you get from, oh, maybe the IRS or something.

And, it came with “OFFICIAL REPUBLICAN PARTY DOCUMENT – DO NOT DESTROY” above my address, clearly visible though the envelope.

And, it contained

NOTICE:
This SURVEY DOCUMENT IS REGISTERED IN YOUR NAME and must be accounted for upon completion of this project. If you choose not to participate in this crucial Republican Senate Leadership Survey, return this Survey Document at once using the postage-paid envelope provided.

Well, now. Isn’t that just special.

And, the pages of the form remind me of a Form 1040.

And, at the end, there was a place where I could fill out how much money I’d send them. Just like a Form 1040.

I haven’t received such an official document since Ed McMahon died.

Now, I certainly appreciate the appearance that they really care about what I think. But, I did a little checking on the Interwebz, and find they’ve been doing silly stuff like this for a bit. And, the thing is, they’ve been sending these out for years. And to many, many left–wing idiots.

Now, that makes me wonder: are they still just mailing stuff out to people that they don’t know who they are? Probably.

But, let’s imagine they’ve worked out all the bugs about who they mail these things to. The whole “official document” thing and “do not destroy” thing is … silly.

Or scary.

Depending on who does it, I suppose.

For instance, suppose I mailed out a bunch of things like that, and you got one. You’d think I was silly.

Then, suppose you lived in the Soviet Union in 1980, and got such a thing from The Party. Not so silly then. More scary.

And that’s the thing. The arrogance. Telling me I got to send this form back or account for it or something.

Now, I’m thinking about doing a YouTube of me burning it or feeding it to a goat or something.

This is why I’m not a Republican. I hang around smarter people than that.

Which explains why I steer clear of Democrats, too. And why I throw Holy Water at Ron Paul supporters.

I’m undecided about whether to do anything at all with this survey. Would my response really make a difference? Even if it didn’t, if I thought this was a meaningful part of the process, I’d participate.

So, what have I learned from this? Nothing. I already knew that the Republican party did silly stuff. Like help elect liberals and moderates, neither of which do anything useful.

Anyway, they’ve now spent all the money I sent them, asking me to send them more money.

If only they put that money into doing something useful.