Cracked has a list of the most embarrassing failures in terrorism. That reminds me of how after 9/11 it felt like a certainty that we’d have more attacks in America. If someone didn’t care whether he lived or died, it seems so easy to kill a bunch of people in this country. There are so many crowded places you can go with no one checking anyone for weapons. It ends up terrorists are even dumber than we thought, though… or maybe Bush’s little laugh made them all crazy stupid just like it did liberals.

Anyway, if your god really wanted you to blow up infidels and take over the world by force, you’d think he’d use his god powers to make his followers not the biggest losers in the world. Not questioning Allah’s methods; I’m just saying.

Obama is on vacation, so it’s the perfect time to mess with his stuff and play jokes on him:

* Reprogram his teleprompters to automatically translate everything to Klingon.

* Replace all his spending bills with spending cuts. When he gets back he’ll be like, “What?! The deficit has gone down instead of up? Something as gone horribly wrong!”

* Replace the Democrat congressmen with people from the insane asylum and see how long it takes him to notice. “There’s Pelosi going on about people-faced spiders again. You tell those townhall protesters!”

* Schedule Biden for a primetime press conference. Don’t give him a teleprompter and tell him to speak off the cuff.

* Put rattlesnakes in all his desk drawers. He’ll be like, “Ow! A snakebite! I’ll just open this drawer to get the anti-venom… Aieee! Another snake! Enough is enough! I have had it with these wee-weed snakes on this wee-weed desk!”

* Invade a country while he’s gone. Man will he be surprised when he gets back!

* Instead of flying him back home, fly him to France and see how long it takes him to notice. “Wow, people are more accepting of my socialist positions than I thought!”

* Edit his Saul Alinksy’s Rules for Radicals book to include a rule that you should talk like a pirate.

* Don’t let him in the White House when he gets back telling him we found his Kenyan birth certificate which made McCain president who was so shocked that he immediately had a heart attack… so guess who’s president now!

They now have a rehab center for internet addiction. I’m against this. If anyone ever tells you that you should visit IMAO less, he is a bad bad man. I want you to report him to us immediately so we can egg his house. You can never visit IMAO too many times.

Hey, I wonder if I just put up a funny new post? You better refresh to see if I did. Just keep refreshing until something new appears.