Some people are working on robot fish farms. They’ll swim around the oceans full of fish, helping the fish live more naturally while still keeping them in cage. Now, I’m not sure how a robot full of fish swimming around the ocean will take over the world, I just know they’re going to try.
They will certainly make odd Aquaman villains at least.
Cheney has finally gotten his memos showing he’s right that making terrorists very uncomfortable get information, but the Obama administration is still planning a probe to decide whether to prosecute people in the CIA for the methods they use. Personally, I don’t care what they do to someone if he’s a terrorist… or a terrorist sympathizer… or someone who hangs around a lot of terrorists like someone from the Middle East.
So what are the Enhanced Interrogation Methods the CIA uses? I will tell you:
ENHANCED INTERROGATION METHOD
* They shake a cat in front of a terrorist yelling, “Look at how we’re shaking this cat! Tell us what we’ll know or we’ll keep shaking this cat!”
* They flush a Koran down the toilet and then make the terrorist unclog the toilet because that doesn’t work too well.
* They let them watch American Idol’s results show right up until the reveal of who’s leaving, and then turn it off.
* During the questioning, all the CIA agents eat lots of tasty tasty bacon and the terrorists can’t have any.
* Their families are threatened, such as a vow to send their daughters to school.
* They ask the terrorist if he likes apples. If he answers in the affirmative, he is punched in the nads. “How about them apples!”
* Mandatory Muhammad cartoon drawing class. If you’re cartoon isn’t funnier than today’s Family Circus, it’s a beating.
* They threaten to splice their genes to give them a curly pig tail.
* They Let in an ACLU lawyer to check on whether the terrorists rights are being violated, then they beat up the lawyer in front of the terrorists saying, “This is what will happen to you if you don’t talk!”
* Al Gore is invited to give a slide show. Only excuse to get out of it is that you’re busy confessing terrorist plans.
* Not sure what exactly the final method entails, but it involves five minutes alone with Dick Cheney, a phone book, and a bottle of Vodka.
This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com
I get to sit back and let everyone else do the work this week.
Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.
From blarg:
Also from blarg:
From Cynthia of A Conservative Lesbian:
From db:
From Hellrider:
From Basil:
[reference link]
From Crusty:
From John:
From Peregrine John 1:
From Peregrine John 2:
From Peregrine John 3:
From Peregrine John 4:
From Russell:
From theoldcenturion:
[reference link]
From Trevor:
[reference link]
This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:
PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
I was thinking, a lot of stand up comedians get accused of stealing jokes. The thing is, they’ll steal a joke, put a little variation to it to fit with their act. If their variation is no good, it dies there, but if is good then others will see it and steal the joke as well. Then they’ll add a little variation and process repeats. Eventually all the variations added into a joke from it being constantly stolen will result in a completely different joke.
Anyway, my theory is that all jokes are stolen from some knock-knock joke a caveman told thousands of years ago.
I thought Obama was vacationing in Martha’s Vineyard, so why does he have those Mickey Mouse ears on?
It would be neat if Obama vacationed at Disney World and then they renamed the Mickey Mouse ears as Obama ears.
Where do you go to get over an addiction to rehab?
If we replaced all liberals with giggling schoolgirls, we’d significantly macho up the country.
I think “death panel” would be a good name for a revolver.
Man, I’m feeling tired. When you fire energy blasts out your eyes, it really drains you.
Anthropologists a thousand years from now will have plenty of time to figure out the root causes of terrorism. We’re too busy.
Showed the RiffTrax of Raiders of the Lost Ark to my dad and he liked it just fine except for the guys talking over the movie.
