Wow, way to create a straw man, Frank. As if there was really anyone that wouldn’t punch a hippie, given the opportunity to do so. Even hippies will laugh at that premise.
I wouldn’t call that a straw man per se. It’s more like conventional wisdom or common sense. Kinda like “Don’t BASE jump without a chute”. It just goes without saying.
However, sometimes we just need to be reminded of the truth. That is what makes us “Truthers”.
Always wear gloves, so you don’t get any on you.
It is unsportsman like conduct to bait hippies with pechouli oil and incense.
It is also unsportsman like conduct to hunt hippies with soap.
Never mistake a commie for a hippie and fail to shoot the commie.
Never give a hippie a bath, without the proper EPA permits.
There are some who don’t punch hippies. Remember that one PSA from a few years ago?
There once was a regular Joe named Charles. Charles was an agreeable fellow, but he was a bit of a sissy. One day while walking to lunch, Charles saw a hippy protesting the illegal American occupation of Samoa. Charles thought about punching the hippy in his monkey face, but decided that, hey, someone else was bound to do it eventually.
Then, in a flash, Fred Thompson appeared! Fred distracted a nearby policeman with his casual Southern drawl, took the policeman’s pistol, pistol whipped the hippy, and then punched Charles into a nearby planet for being a sissy.
Remember, kids, friends don’t let friends refrain from punching stupid hippies.
Frankly, I found that particular PSA to be absurd. It’s a common fact that Fred Thompson would never mar a pistol’s finish by using it to whip some dirty, smelly hippy.
Hippie Punchin’ does not mean making three small holes so you can put them in a loose leaf binder? Darn. Um, anybody want a scrap book collection? And some air freshener.
Can I replace punching with a flying scissor kick? I hurt my shoulder a while back so I can’t really put much power behind a punch. Plus it looks more awesomer.
I’m getting too old to punch. Is it okay to whop ’em with my cane? If I have to I can drill a hole up inside the bottom and melt some lead to pour in there to give the whopping a bit more authority. Please advise, there are some unpunched hippies out here, hiding from the punching committee. I’d like to help but I’m old.
Most hippies are vegetarians. Therefore, you can attract them with any kind of brown, shredded plant material with smoke wafting out of it. Then, you can hit them over the head with a ham. A big roast beef works in a pinch.
My grandfather had a hickory cane that worked quite well, because of the flexibility it raised massive stinging welts and was light enough it did not tire his whuppin’ arm out. Just something to consider Peter.
Wiser words, and all that.
Wow, way to create a straw man, Frank. As if there was really anyone that wouldn’t punch a hippie, given the opportunity to do so. Even hippies will laugh at that premise.
and kick them too for good measure.
Son of Bob,
I wouldn’t call that a straw man per se. It’s more like conventional wisdom or common sense. Kinda like “Don’t BASE jump without a chute”. It just goes without saying.
However, sometimes we just need to be reminded of the truth. That is what makes us “Truthers”.
Remember there are rules for hippie punchin:
Always wear gloves, so you don’t get any on you.
It is unsportsman like conduct to bait hippies with pechouli oil and incense.
It is also unsportsman like conduct to hunt hippies with soap.
Never mistake a commie for a hippie and fail to shoot the commie.
Never give a hippie a bath, without the proper EPA permits.
Son of Bob,
There are some who don’t punch hippies. Remember that one PSA from a few years ago?
Frankly, I found that particular PSA to be absurd. It’s a common fact that Fred Thompson would never mar a pistol’s finish by using it to whip some dirty, smelly hippy.
Hippie Punchin’ does not mean making three small holes so you can put them in a loose leaf binder? Darn. Um, anybody want a scrap book collection? And some air freshener.
Can I replace punching with a flying scissor kick? I hurt my shoulder a while back so I can’t really put much power behind a punch. Plus it looks more awesomer.
** giggles quietly to self RE – “loose-leaf hippie” **
I’m getting too old to punch. Is it okay to whop ’em with my cane? If I have to I can drill a hole up inside the bottom and melt some lead to pour in there to give the whopping a bit more authority. Please advise, there are some unpunched hippies out here, hiding from the punching committee. I’d like to help but I’m old.
Most hippies are vegetarians. Therefore, you can attract them with any kind of brown, shredded plant material with smoke wafting out of it. Then, you can hit them over the head with a ham. A big roast beef works in a pinch.
My grandfather had a hickory cane that worked quite well, because of the flexibility it raised massive stinging welts and was light enough it did not tire his whuppin’ arm out. Just something to consider Peter.