Too many people use bad language. And I’ve been guilty of that. And it’s wrong. But what does one do about it?
Many people who use bad language do it under extreme circumstances, not as a matter of normal language. Sure, some people use profanity as every other word, it seems. But not everyone is that way. But, sure, extreme circumstances do occur.
There are some common words and phrases that some people will use instead of the … more colorful metaphors
- Oh, heck
- Darn it!
- Son of a gun
- Frikkin’
- Oh, shoot!
There are other phrases that don’t aren’t as close to profanity, but can be used in situations where profanity might otherwise be used:
- Heavens to Betsy!
- Holy Cow!
- Jeepers
Can you use these today? Sure. But they are a little lame.
However, we can come up with other phrases that might be useful as alternatives to profanity … and still express just how strongly you feel about something.
A while back, I noticed that it’s common for really bad drivers to have Obama bumper stickers. And when I encounter a really bad driver, I want to call them something horrible. Then, it occurred to me: is there anything worse than being called an Obama voter?
“Obama voter” is about as vulgar as you can get. Try it some time. When an idiot cuts you off in traffic or speeds across three lanes just to come to a complete stop in front of you, call them an “Obama voter.” It feels good to relieve that frustration … and it’s quite probably true.
And, “Obama voter” is a term of profanity fits pretty much any situation:
Frankly, my dear, I don’t give an Obama vote.
I’m as mad as an Obama voter, and I’m not going to take this anymore!
Take your stinking paws off me, you Obama-voting dirty ape!
Don’t you Obama-votin’ look at me!
Yippie kay-yay, Obama-voter.
I have had it with these Obama-voting snakes on this Obama-voting plane!
Now I want you to remember that no Obama-voter ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb Obama-voter die for his country!
See? “Obama voter” is an acceptable way of saying a very, very bad thing.
I’m sure there are more ways this or other phrases can be used and fit the situation … help us clean up our language.
Coming from a long line of American Non Commissioned Officiers ; I find I cannot participate in this
attack on a great American ART FORM.
“I’ll stick a size eight,so far up your Obama Voter, your breath will smell like KiWi ”
Nope…to much nuance.
“Yippie kay-yay, Obama-voter.”
ROTFLOL
the ‘obama-voter’ idea is funny as all ‘heck’.. but i DO hope you are kidding about discouraging the use of our most colorful and useful language, considered by some to be ‘profanity’. i mean, WTF ?!
[You mean “WTOV” don’t you? No, I’m not suggesting that all colorful metaphors, as Mr. Spock once called them, be eliminated. But, there are times, such as around the kids or in mixed company, that you don’t want to use really objectionable language. “Obama voter” is perfect for those times. It’s safe to say around anyone, and everyone — even the kids — know you mean something naughty. – B]
“Go Obama-voter yourself, you little Obama-voter sucking, mother Obama-voter”
Hmmmm, just doesn’t have the same ring to it as what I usually yell at the neighborhood kids.
[On the other hand, if I addressed you as “Obama-votingCat,” you’d feel really insulted. So, there are times when it works. – B]
Fits well with dialog from my favorite politically incorrect movie…..
——————————————————————————–
Bart: Mornin’, ma’am. And isn’t it a lovely mornin’?
Elderly Woman: Up yours, Obama Voter.
Mongo: Obama Voter only pawn… in game of life.
Lili Von Shtupp: Hello, cowboy. What’s your name?
Tex: Tex, ma’am!
Lili Von Shtupp: “Texmam”? Tell me, Texmam, are you in show business?
Tex: Well, no…
Lilly von Schtupp: Then why don’t you get your Obama Votin’ feet off the stage?
Taggart: The surveyors say they may have run into some quicksand up ahead. Better check it out.
Lyle: Okay, I’ll send down a team of horses to check out the ground.
Taggart: Horses!?
[hits Lyle’s head]
Taggart: We can’t afford to lose any horses, you dummy! Send over a couple of Obama Voters.
Taggart: I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City Obama Voters.
Ah praire s**t, one more….
Hedley Lamarr: If you will just sign this, Governor. Right here.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: Yes, yes. What the hell is it?
Hedley Lamarr: Well, under the provisions of this bill, we would snatch two hundred thousand acres of Obama Voter Land, which we have deemed unsuitable for their use at this time. They’re such children.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: Two hundred thousand acres? Two hundred thousand acres? What’ll it cost, man, what’ll it cost?
Hedley Lamarr: [brings out a carton of paddleballs] A box of these.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: Are you crazy? They’ll never go for it. And then again they might. Those little Red Obama Voters…they love toys!
+100 points for the Yippie-kay-yay. Hi-larious.
“This code of honor of yours makes me wanna beat the Obama voter outta somebody.” -A Few Good Men
“Listen, you little punk. To me you’re nothing but an Obama-voter, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to an Obama-voter. And a lot of things can happen to an Obama-voter. He can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground, he can dry up and blow away in the wind, or he can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful at the ballot box.”
You’re a class act, Basil.
For a Few Dollars More…El Indio: [Talking about Agua Caliente] Yes, I have many friends here. It looks just like a morgue. But look out. It could be one so easily.
[Looks at Groggy]
El Indio: They don’t like Obama Voters, huh?
Groggy: No. They don’t like anybody!
Excellent post. I will be using this the next time I’m stuck in traffic and all those Obama-voters are making me late. And then I’ll tell them to go take a flying obama vote.
…And the Obama voter they rode in on!
From The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly….Tuco: [trying to read a note] “See you soon, Ob… ” “Ob… ” “Ob… ”
Blondie: [taking the note] “Obama Voter”. It’s for you.
Planet of the Apes -1968
“YOU BLEW IT UP! Obama-voters! Obama-vote you all to D.C. !!!
A Christmas Story- 1983
Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Only I didn’t say “Fudge.” I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the
“O-dash-dash-dash-dash-V-dash-dash-dash-dash-s” word!
Mr. Parker: [stunned] *What* did you say?
Ralphie: Uh, um…
Mr. Parker: That’s… what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] It was all over – I was dead…
From Dawn of the Dead…..Dr. Millard Rausch, Scientist: The normal question, the first question is always; are these cannibals? No, they are not cannibals. Cannibalism in the true sense of the word implies an interspecies activity. These Obama Voters cannot be considered human. They prey on humans. They do not prey on each other, that’s the difference. They attack and they feed only on warm human flesh. Intelligence? Seemingly little or no reasoning power, but basic skills remain a more remembered behaviors from normal life. There are reports of these Obama Voters using tools. But even these actions are the most primitive, the use of external articles as bludgeons and so forth. I might point out to you that even animals will adopt the basic use of tools in this manner. These Obama Voters are nothing but pure, motorized instinct. We must not be lulled by the concept that these are our family members or our friends. They are not. They will not respond to such emotions.
[the gathered crowd starts arguing]
Dr. Millard Rausch, Scientist: They must be destroyed on sight!
From Porky’s……..Mr. Cavanaugh: Look’s like I’m gonna make an Obama Voter out of you yet, boy.
Tim: An Obama Voter? If being an Obama Voter means being what you are, I’d rather be queer.
Get shorty, Dennis Farina answering the Phone “Obama Voter, Obama Voter, Obama Voter, Obama Voter, Obama Voter”
not so much.
“They say the Obama Voting Smog is the Obama Voting reason for the Obama Voting beautiful Obama Voting sunsets”
maybe.
From Gremlins…Murry Futterman, Billy’s neighbor: [drunk, looking inside his car] Obama Voters….
Murry Futterman, Billy’s neighbor: [turning to Billy and Kate] You got-you gotta watch out for them forgeiners cuz they plant Obama Voters in their machinery.
[he climbs inside the car]
Murry Futterman, Billy’s neighbor: It’s the same Obama Voters that brought down our planes in the big one.
Kate: [laughing] The big one…
Murry Futterman, Billy’s neighbor: [turning round] that’s right! World War Two.
[He puts his hand to his head]
Murry Futterman, Billy’s neighbor: Good old WWII.
Murry Futterman, Billy’s neighbor: [Murray tries to start his car] Y’know their still shippin them over here. They put em in cars, they put em in yer TV. They put em in stereos and those little radios you stick in your ears. They even put em in watches, they have teeny Obama Voters for our watches!
And last but not least….
Olson Johnson: All right… we’ll give some land to the Obama Voters and the chinks. But we don’t want the Irish!
[everyone complains]
Olson Johnson: Aw, prairie s**t… Everybody!
[everyone rejoices]
——————————————————————————–
Bart: Sir, he specifically requested two “Obama Voters”. Well, to tell the family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.
——————————————————————————–
Buddy Bizarre: [stomps in time to music on each word] Watch me, Obama Voters!
——————————————————————————–
[It should be “we’ll give some land to the Obama Voters and the Obama Voters.” – B]
From My Best Friend’s Girl (just watched it like twice in 24 hrs):
Tank: Are we gonna do this or what? Come, it’s not gonna Obama-vote itself, momma!
Obama vote yourself!
Obama voting mother Obama voter.
Who the Obama vote died and made you Obama voting King?
You think your Obama vote doesn’t stink? Well I got some Obama voting news for you.
Obama voting Obama vote faces!
“It’s the one that says Bad Mother Obama Voter.”
“Take your stinking paws off me, you Obama-voting dirty ape!”
We know what you meant but…
I don’t have a profanity problem. But what’s wrong with you Obama voters, Noonan and Althouse ?
It has pointed out that the “Obama vote” substitute is perfect for pr0n.
“Ooh yeah, let me have some of that juicy Obama vote.”
“Suck that Obama vote you Obama voting Obama vote.”
“I’m gonna Obama vote!”
British pr0n:
“You like that Obama vote? My Obama vote will give you the dirty squirty.”
“Oh yeah luv, let’s give you a little of the ol’ Obama vote.”
“Right. Give my Obama voting dogs a bath.”
my roommate and i spent the better part of an hour coming up with these…heres a few
We Can’t Stay Here, This is Obama Voter Country!
I shouldn’t have done that. You’re not supposed to tell a guy you’re gonna kill him no more. I got to tiptoe through the tulips with these Obama voters. Taking all the fun out of the job.
Obama votin!- What the Obama voting!!. Obama. Who the Obama Obama’d this Obama voting… How did you two Obama voting Obama voters? Obama voting Obama!
Well that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
If you get on the plane and you vote for Obama. You’ll regret it. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
[Oh, that Casablanca reference is priceless! That alone makes me glad I wrote this post. – B]
Obama vote the Obama voting Obama voters.
Ok, I’m done. I prefer the real thing, Basil.
Meep! You! http://salemnews.com/punews/local_story_313233045.html
Well, you’ve just cratered the market for racist jokes. Thanks a lot.
you can always say:
*what a peice of Pelosi
*I think I just step in some dog Pelosi
*man that mexican food gave me a bad case of the flying pelosi’s
*when liberals get mad they always resort to flinging Pelosi
I know not as good as subing Obama Voter for dirty words but it could work too.
[Oh, that’s excellent! There is no reason to limit to “Obama voter”; it’s just the thing that inspired me. Reid, Rangel, Olbermann… Just about the entire left can substitute for profanity. – B]
It’s always time for a colorful metaphor!
From Full Metal Jacket
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy dog Schumer. Only steers and Obama voters come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don’t look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you Frank Barneys?
From Goodfellas
Jimmy Conway: [Grabs telephone cord and chokes Morrie with it, then his wig falls off and Henry starts laughing] You got money for that Obama votin’ commercial. Obama votin’ commercial, you don’t got my money, you don’t got my Obama votin money, huh?
…or
Henry Hill: Just… ya know… you’re funny.
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little Obama voted up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to Obama votin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry Hill: Just… you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the Obama vote am I funny, what the Obama vote is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny!
Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the Obama vote out of here, Tommy!
Just stick that Kennedy up your Schumer, you no good Reidin’ Pelosi !!! What a Obama voter !!!
…or Pulp Fiction?
Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: What country you from?
Brett: What?
Jules: What ain’t no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHEROBAMA-VOTER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Then you know what I’m saying!
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Describe what Marcellus Wallace looks like!
Brett: What, I-?
Jules: [pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherObama-voter. Say what one more Obama-votin time.
Brett: He’s b-b-black…
Jules: Go on.
Brett: He’s bald…
Jules: Does he look like an Obama-voter?
Brett: What?
[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]
Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE AN OBAMA-VOTER?
Brett: No!
Jules: Then why you try to Obama-vote him like an Obama-voter, Brett?
Brett: I didn’t.
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to Obama-vote him. And Marcellus Wallace don’t like to be Obama-voted by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.
here’s one from “WaterWorld”
The Decon: Your like a Pelosi that just won’t flush!
The problems with this are that our friends on the left could easily appropriate it as “Dubya Voter” and that being a typed medium we get stuck with the joke about when Mark Twain cut himself shaving and let loosing a streak of obama-vote this and obama-vote that and his wife came in and said “do you know what you just said?!” and repeated it back to him in monotone, leading Twain to quip “you have the words my dear, but not the tune.”