Jury Duty

Obama skipped out on jury duty he was like:

OBAMA: I’m the president. I’m doing important stuff.

COURT: No you’re not. You’re just screwing around.

OBAMA: I have a State of the Union address to deliver Wednesday.

COURT: You’re on TV talking all the friggin’ time. No one cares anymore.

OBAMA: Jury duty sounds boring! You go away! I’m the president!

COURT: I know it sounds hard, but you’re actually qualified for this job. You just have to sit and listen to the arguments and–

OBAMA: I can’t listen to other people. It’s a medical condition. I have a doctor’s note. I can only talk myself. If you try to make me sit in a room and not speak, my brain will explode.

COURT: That sounds made up.

OBAMA: You sound made up!

COURT: You’re not getting out of this.

OBAMA: Yes I am! I don’t every do anything I don’t want to! Like all my campaign promises!

11 Comments

  1. Obama would tell them he is exempt from jury duty on the grounds of conflict of interest. It would be awkward for him to be sitting in the jury box as everyone swore on the Bible to tell the truth “so help me Obama”.

  2. Jury duty? That’s racist.

    That thing would be all like: He be a democrat, he be okay for cabinet. Lordy, holder! close the investigation on him.

    Scuse ma, yo onor, where be ma teleprompter?

    Dis don look lak Hawaii! dis look lak work!

  3. I like jury duty. I wish I could be on permanent jury duty. I get to send people I don’t like to prison for decades and give out giant jury awards that mess with companies I don’t like…basically, it’s my dream job!

  4. OBAMA: Don’t you have to be a citizen to be on a jury?

    Judge: yes but you said you were, you can’t change your mind now.

    OBAMA: #@$%^*!#

    Jury foremanperson: OK, let’s vote, guilty or not guilty?

    OBAMA: present

    Jury foremanperson: That’s not an option

    OBAMA: OK, Typical white person!!

    Jury foremanperson: That’s not an option either, the defendant is black negro African American

    OBAMA: Oh, ok, you’re racist so he’s guilty as sin but thanks to me, he’s free as a bird, not guilty you honky white devil.

    Judge: #@$%^*!#

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