A way to see if waterboarding is effective is to mandate its use for all politicians to see if it can get them to tell the truth.
A refried bean swastika? I thought we defeated the Mexi-Nazis in WWIII: The Search for Spock!
“Epistemic closure”? Sounds like something a doctor would prescribe a funny-smelling cream for.
Democrats can question people’s patriotism without controversy because no one takes them seriously on that issue.
I have a horrible wife. She takes way too long to cook me homemade quesadillas for lunch.
Liberals are threatening to stay out of Arizona. If the bill also got hippies to threaten to bathe, if would be the greatest bill ever.
Why do they make maternity clothes but not paternity clothes? I plan to get fat too.
Talk about how green something is and you can make yourself feel good. Make something save money and you can help the environment. Personal benefit is always going to be a million times greater a motivator than some religious green experience.
Pollution is inefficiency, and the best system we have to fight inefficiency are free markets.
Too much arguing. We either need to start loving each other or get better at killing each other so as to make the point moot.
“Gentile” is Hebrew for “gringo”.
If I had to choose only ten sites on the internet and lose access to all others, tvtropes.org would be one of them.
“Redneck,” southern for no nonsense and low maintenance.
Is’t a libzi chastising my patriotism kinda like a moozlum tellin’ me;”Hey buddy, that’s just NOT the Christiean way to act”?
I meant ‘Christian’. Most sincere My Bad..
I read a story there once:
He’d buy a big prosthetic forehead
And wear it on his real head
Everybody wants prosthetic
Foreheads on their real heads
(Everyone who plays a Klingon, that is)
Liberals are very much smarter than we are because they have big words that mean “close minded.” As proof that they are right, my close mindedness prevents me from using their term for close mindedness.
Naaaah, they’re made of tougher stuff. Might need to go old school.
My random question for the day is this: Whyizzut that I always get to be a blue space alien insect for my avatar? Is this a mark of pride or shame? For a while, I was a red space alien insect. Was I promoted, and if so, can I list this with my other achievements on my resume?
Why do they make maternity clothes but not paternity clothes? I plan to get fat too.
Actually, there are paternity clothes. The only thing as revealing as a maternity dress is a paternity suit.
I accuse you of Mexicaniness!
Our cars just love the religious experience of dirty ethanol tainted gasoline reducing their performance and increasing their emissions!
“Liberals are threatening to stay out of Arizona. If the bill also got hippies to threaten to bathe, if would be the greatest bill ever.”
Man, we got to get us a bill like that in FLA! If we can get the liberals to stay out of FLA AND get the hippies to bathe (and hopefully follow the liberals’ lead in staying out of FLA), what a wonderful world this could be, as that sappy song says.
Shoot, every state needs a bill like Arizona’s. Then we can finally get the liberlas to emigrate to Greenland or something. Then again, whenever liberals say they’re gonna leave they never do, I’m starting to think liberals might be liars too.
Silicon Valley Jim: Now, THAT was clever.
I got plenty of nothin’
Nothin’s got plenty of me,
so… ♪ ♪♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
We need a bill so that liberals would boycott America AND bath. How about an enforcable ban on illegal aliens and hybrid cars? Make ’em run for sure.
A refried bean swastika must be from the Food Network Nazis…Iron Chef Mexicano.
The secret to quicker quesadillas is to purchase the store brand, pre-shredded cheese in the 2 pound freezer bag. Saves all that time grating the cheese, and the most discerning palate will be unable to tell the difference between this melted cheese and fresh-grated, especially if you use lots of Pace picante sauce, or better yet, homemade salsa.
Have you ever thought about using Twitter, Frank? A lot of these Random Thoughts would work well on Twitter. You really should investigate it. I think you’d be awesome at it.
“Liberals are threatening to stay out of Arizona. If the bill also got hippies to threaten to bathe, if would be the greatest bill ever.”
Illegals are leaving AZ, liberals aren’t going to AZ, this is already the greatest bill ever written. So, Jeb Bush hates it.
SarahK (and you) will soon learn about “epistemic closure”, right after the baby is born and the doctor starts stitching.
P.S. My wife recommends the epidural.
Frank J is way too cool to be on Twitter. So is Sarah K.
I consider not being on Twitter and Facebook to be my greatest acomplishment on the Web.
If it isn’t the former Soccer Teaser!
Some RT I have been working on”
-Father -Brothers -Male Cousins of the world:
For young girls their is no more profound and life changing gift you can give then to make sure she has at least one relationship with a man where you genuinely care about her and want nothing sexual in return. If you do this successfully she will not fall prey to the lure of false affection.
-Physical nature will tell you to be with the prettiest, strongest, or smartest person you can attract. But find out who you are then improve that a few ways and moderate your faults. Then find someone who you can be yourself with. No one can pretend forever and who would want too.
-When it comes to dating if you are catching the wrong kind of fish you are probably using the wrong kind of bait. (slut bait does not catch nice guys, Drunk bait does not catch responsible guys, Bitchy I am women here me roar bait will not catch nice guys who want to have an equal relationship)
-Nature did a good job of giving us all default physical survival skills and Emotional offensive skills. But when it comes to emotional survival skills were all Helen Keller.
Super RT funny thoughts:
Been working on this comedy bit about “I died met god and he gave me some messages to give back to you, and he would appreciate if you would stop bothering him about all of them.”
-yes you married the wrong person
-yes that thing you did when you were younger ruined your life
-your money problems aren’t from him you are in idiot who is bad with money
-No he did not choose who would be president you and your neighbors did.
-yes newscasters who fear-monger old people and the ignorant poor into statism go to hell.
-the parents you got were actually better then you deserved
-yes you chose the wrong career
-no your cat really doesn’t like you and it even blabs all your secrets to all the other cats in the neighborhood.
-all the other drivers aren’t idiots you are
-people arent picky you are a terrible cook they were trying to be nice.
-everyone is not discriminating against you, it is just that you are boring, smell funny, and not very bright.
-politicians are many things stupid is not one of them. After all they get you to keep voting them in.
-hair dressers and taxi drivers are right as often as any broken clock
-If a polar bear ate you he might he might laugh under his breath
-Yes he a man created the earth the women demanded they get to try first but after billions of years of tearing everything up and having committees and inner disagreements they finally all realized none of them knew how to build anything.
-yes he counts tears and the manipulative ones subtract 3 for every 1 real one.
-some idiots can survive anything because he doesn’t want them back and they haven’t done anything bad enough yet to justify sending them to hell.
-yes he kills off great people early. He missed them and didn’t trust them in your hands.
-yes he knows that when you talk about helping people you only do it for the ego boost. And yes it subtracts 3 to 1 from unselfish good acts.
-He used to listen to your prayers as a child but as an adult its been all gimme gimme gimme and blabber blabber blabber and so he has not been listening for sometime.
-Yes there is a long dark tunnel and a light on the end so that the people who aren’t really dead cant see heaven.
-No he does not like slave masters the plantation type or the government type. If you are bad he will let you be taken into slavery though for a few hundred years until you learned some lessons.
-Yes he is returning soon but he is waiting until we have mostly all blown up or killed each other so that after he gets here we cant whine that if we just had a little more time we could of done it on our own
-yes people who eat dogs to hell
-no all those things you thought were signs were not
-yes all those things you ignored because they would have contradicted what you wanted were signs.
-yes he will forgive you. Maybe he will take you back he wants to see what you do with the rest of your time
-yes radio advertisements are annoying but that is what we sound like yelling telling him to do things right away.
-No he doesn’t want you in hell but he cant have you in heaven hitting on other peoples spouses, trying to cheat the system, and complaining about everything when you deserved nothing.
-yes he is taking your dog back to heaven with or without you
-yes your good for nothing ex is there no you wont be joining them. They got forgiveness because of all your craziness and manipulation
-your ex spouse was better then you deserved and he wont be trusting you with anyone decent again
-About charity homeless people are a no-brainier but drunks and junkies are a gray area
– yes he is ok with you not believing in him. No this does not get you off the hook for what you have done when you knew better
– No there are no lawyers in heaven. Technically there could be but no one has pulled it off
– No he is not responsible for standing by while terrible things happen all over the world all of the able adults of the world are.
– No he is not going to stop people killing each other any more then he is going to enforce speed limits.
– Yes he if fine if you nuke the moon , he said it would “look totally boss”
–
A fine collection, Shiggz. Many excellent gems! Not a klinker at all in the bunch. Mebbe it could be done as spoken word set against music like that dude did about college graduation.
Thanks B.
Music would be cool, but tricky as like many in my race the only rhythm I can feel is iambic pentameter.
Which I still insist would make a hilarious black on white style dance off movie where one gyrates the other tells the sonnets.
#5 – Burmashave,
go to en.gravatar.com and creator your own icon. If I can do it, anyone can!
Thanks, 5of7. I think I may keep the blue alien insect. I kinda like it.
All this talk of San Francisco wanting to boy-cot Arizona has me worried…what exactly do San Franciscans do to boys in their cots?
Is this the reason the concealed carry law was passed first?
Some Nazis were referred to as “Brown Shirts”
This is because while painting swastikas on windows, the refried beans would often drip on their clothes.
A random thought…
When they make the trillion dollar bill, I hope they put obama’s portrait on it so everybody will get constantly reminded who was responsible for the devaluation as they dole out 30 or 40 of them for a stick of gum.