Obama, meeting with foreign leaders, told them our country is still working on democracy. I can only assume he then bowed to them. A top aide who was asked about the statement explained that Obama has made “historic steps” to improve democracy. What steps, you ask? Here’s what Obama has done:
TOP TEN HISTORIC STEPS OBAMA HAS MADE TO IMPROVE DEMOCRACY
10. A lollipop is handed out with every vote.
9. A camera was added every voting booth so if it looks like you’re having trouble with the ballot, someone can help you.
8. Confusing butterfly ballot replaced with mobius strip ballot.
7. Plans to add the American Idol’s “Judges’ Save” to other elections.
6. Ballot counting now done by the only group we can trust for complete accuracy: A non-partisan commission of unicorns.
5. To make ballots shorter and easier to understand, third parties are left off.
4. Leaving hanging chads is now punishable by death.
3. New Black Panthers standing at polls at threatening people with batons now must provide information on all candidates.
2. Sticker added to touchscreen voting saying, “DO NOT HACK.”
And the number one historic step Obama has made to improve democracy…
Those internet polls you vote in? Now legally binding.
11. Charles Logan for Attorney General!
Those internet polls you vote in? Now legally binding.
Oh great, Ron Paul is going to be our next president.
Eh, it can’t be any worse but it can be a whole lot funnier.
All of the polls I take online involve Tiger Woods and Jennifer Aniston.
“She wants to sit on his mushroom”
* Determine the result of an election using partisan election officials instead of those pesky voters.
* Use only “Green” ballots.
* Tell everyone how to vote so they don’t have to bother their pretty lil’ heads with issues.
What about the expedition He sent out to get the Ruby Slippers. I think that had a great impact on Democracy. Oh sorry wrong movie about a man hiding behind a curtain pulling switches and levers with a big face on a screen in a magical make-believe land.
I’m not feeling this lollipop idea. I’d like to make a motion to move toward chocolate.
This is a huge pet peeve of mine, and it irritates me to no end. I know nearly all of our politicians use the term, but, WE ARE NOT NOW, NOR HAVE WE EVER BEEN, A DEMOCRACY!!!!!!!
Democracy is MOB RULE. This is the furthest thing from the Founder’s Intentions. We are a representative republic. We are a nation of law, not of men. We cannot survive if we keep calling ourselves a democracy.
UUUuggggghhhhh…..
These lists are good. Frank’s no. 8 made me laugh out loud. Just give a mobius strip to a liberal and ask it to find the end.
Hours of entertainment.
New improvements to our democracy: bigger better coronations for Teh One. This time with bucket crowns.
Taxpayers count as 3\5’s a person. If you get any from of welfare; ie: food stamps, section 8 housing, WIC, Air Force One, you get two votes.
Man, I’m really looking forward to getting my lollipop the next time I vote. Do you think I can get a cherry or grape flavored one? And since they’re shaped like an “O” I’ll know who to thank.
I figured that to increase the speed and accuracy of ballot counting, it would be performed by highly trained union workers.
All highly trained union workers and monkeys will be told, “Just put down the poo and count the ballots.”
Actually I think there is a #7, isn’t there? Something called an electoral college? Fat lot of good it did us this time, though. Sheesh.
If the Supreme Imperial Leader wants us to say he’s “improving democracy” – whatever that means – then we, his loyal subjects, should obey and say what we’ve been instructed to say.
#7 – Scott,
I agree.
When this joker gets done ‘improving’ democracy, no one will ever use the word again; they’ll just refer to it, with shame, as “the ‘D’ word”.
“Judge’s Save” was used in 2000, wasn’t it?
Fixed:
6. Ballot counting now done by the only group we can trust for complete accuracy: A non-partisan commission of
unicornsACORNs.Which candidate brought the lawsuit that ended up in the Supreme Court?
Hint: It wasn’t the guy who won every recount.
Where do you guys get the idea that this isn’t a democracy? All the checks and balances have been eradicated decades/centuries ago. This ain’t no republic, that’s for sure.
As I’ve said before, I’ll say again the time for multiple parties is over. To be fair we’ll just use the one that comes first alphabetically.
Improve democracy… Perhaps we should start asking questions about the big picture…
Do we need a Referendum For A New Democracy?
Are you concerned about the future of democracy? Do you feel democracy is under attack by extreme greed in countries around the world? Are you sick and tired of: living in fear, corporate greed, growing police state, government for the rich, working more but having less?
Can we use both elections and random selection (in the way we select government officials) to rid democracy of undue influence by extreme wealth and wealth-dominated mass media campaigns?
The world’s first democracy (Athenian democracy, 600 B.C.) used both elections and random selection. Even Aristotle (the cofounder of Western thought) promoted the use of random selection as the best way to protect democracy. The idea of randomly selecting (after screening) juries remains from Athenian democracy, but not randomly selecting (after screening) government officials. Why is it used only for individual justice and not also for social justice? Who wins from that? …the extremely wealthy?
What is the best way to combine elections and random selection to protect democracy in today’s world? Can we use elections as the way to screen candidates, and random selection as the way to do the final selection? Who wins from that? …the people?