Apparently, people are calling up health insurance companies wondering when they get their free health care, because, you know, the supporters of Obamacare are smart people.
Anyway, here is the free health care plan info that I got directly from the White House website:
The health care plan does not come fully in effect until 2014. In 2014, you will get your free health care plan delivered by a unicorn — which is yours to keep FREE just as Obama promised. When you stroke the unicorn’s horn, it should crap rainbows. If it doesn’t crap rainbows, we will have a hotline setup for unicorn troubleshooting. Also, if you are not satisfied with your free health care, we have another number you can call and we’ll send someone to your house to explain to you why you should be satisfied and maybe shake you and yell at you a bit.
So make sure to spread that info around to avoid any further confusion.
He promised me that unicorn in 2008. I will not wait six years! I won’t do it!
Don’t back out on this, Barry!
Thanks Frank. I swear, I wouldn’t understand anything if you didn’t take the time to explain it.
I was thinking, what they should do is send out an informational pamphlet in the mail. First though, send a postcard telling everyone that the Free Healthcare Informational Brochure is coming in the mail, and then follow up with a hostile and vaguely threatening letter telling people they had better have read the brochure, or else. That should help get the message out.
Today!*
* illegal aliens only
To be fair, Nancy Pelosi only promised us that health care reform was like a giant pinata, and that we wouldn’t find out what was inside until we whacked it with a big bat.
Frank J. I will be more than happy to spread the word around about a rainbow crapping unicorn. There will be no confusion when I finish spreading the word.
A Unicorn that craps rainbows…Hmmm…Mine just came today and all it craps is tree pollen. Wonder if mine’s defective?
But he’s the savior………..well I guess that little s means he’s nothing but a poser. You want change, you got to go with the big S as in Savior of the world. Libs, they’re always confused about things like punctuation, capitalization and integrity. I guess they should have done something else in college besides bar hop, smoke dope and fornicate like bunnies………they might have actually learned something or their heads may have exploded. That would have been a win win for us though.
The taxes start now but the benefits start in 2014. The CBO score was based on a 10yr projection. This way the score was based off collecting taxes for 10 years but only having to pay benefits for 6 years. Obviously unless we cancel Obamacare 4 of every 10 years in the future then it will cost almost double just from that alone. You don’t need wish granting unicorns when you can just outrageously manipulate the numbers and no-one in the media mentions it.
when the second trouble-shooter arrives, do I get any say in where and how I am shaken?
My pinata was full of tax forms. Hmmm….
Doesnt “fully” go into effect until 2014? When is 2014? Can I have the partial effect that starts before the full effect kicks in? Or is the partial effect the increase in my policy costs and taxes coming out of my pay before “the full effect” kicks in?
I feel cheated…….I went and built a unicorn stable & everything.
@ Dodsfall: Ohhhhhh that’s good. And sadly true.
Not to worry everyone….according to the Mayan calendar the world is going to end in Dec. of 2012.
Dude OMG! WTF!
I thought my unicorn would EAT rainbows and crap golden coins
with Obama’s glorious image,I’m so upset.
I’m going to scrape the 38 Omama/Biden stickers off my Prius
that are covering my
‘Impeach Bush !!’, ‘Crucify Rumsfeld!!’, ‘Kill Condi !!’, ‘Hunt Cheney !!’, ‘STFU, GOP!!!’,
and ‘Coexist’ stickers.
Signed,
Millions of stupified Obama voters
who wonder why the President ISN’T
paying their mortgage and putting free gas in their cars.
Instead of a rainbow crapping unicorn, we elected a Donkey-crat that is crapping all over us.
Those brown piles don’t smell like rain.
Health care will be free but the shipping and handling will be $8000/year and you can only get it monday thru friday
Welcome to the FREE Health Care Hotline:
Press 1 For Spanish, 2 for Ebonics, 3 for none of the above
*3
We’re sorry, you do not qualify, please hang up and get a job so everyone who really deserves it can have free health care.
Senators and Representatives get a gold-plated unicorn.
I’m guessing Stupack’s not getting the unicorn he was promised.
Stupak’s unicorn got aborted.
That’s too funny Spacemonkey.
If it’s troubleshooting, can we shoot troublesome unicorns?
Any policy on mounting rocket launchers on unicorns?