Hurley is fat. I hope the finale explains why.
POSSIBLE ENDINGS TO LOST
* It was all a long con by Sawyer to steal Jacob’s buried treasure (Jacob is a pirate).
* It’s revealed it was all Vincent’s dream. Apparently, what a dog is dreaming when he runs in his sleep is more complicated than most people would imagine.
* It ends quite predictably with a basketball competition between the Harlem Globetrotters and robots.
* Ends up it’s not an island at all… but a peninsula!
* The show was an analogy for the true meaning of Christmas, hinted at when they early on encountered polar bears (the island is the remains of Santa’s workshop).
* The ending isn’t shown at all, and when people call ABC, they will claim to never have heard of LOST. ABC will then ask the people calling, “If it’s a real show, describe the plot.” When people try, they’ll realize how made up it sounds and start to question their own sanity.
* They discover that all the weird stuff is caused by Hurley messing up the gravitational field of the earth.
* The Smoke Monster lays dying, but Jack is able to save him by urging the viewers at home to clap and shout, “I believe in random nonsense!”
* The answers to everything were always hidden in Kate’s freckles.
* The Dharma accounting department finally notices the “Ship food to mysterious island” budget item and ends it. Everyone on the island starves.
* While the Oceanic-flight-815-crashed timeline ends in the finale, the one where it didn’t crash was basically a reboot so that the alternate time line goes on for five more seasons.
* Considering all that’s happened, it ends the only sensible way it can: With a disco dance competition — IN SPACE!
* It’s a two and half hour long apology from the writers admitting they have no idea where the story is going.
* It’s a two and half hour long apology from the writers admitting they have no idea where the story is going.
No, that’s the plot of “Lost: The Movie”
The most likely explanation is that ABC fired its writing staff en masse some years back and replaced them with schizophrenics hooked on crystal meth. Viewed through that lens, everything pretty much makes sense.
* Jack Bauer kills everyone.
* The experiment ends; Mike and the ‘Bots return from the theater.
* Fred Thompson reminds everyone that, clearly, some writers take a dump without a plan.
* I remain content with my decision to stop watching this show after the first episode.
* The whole thing was a dream. Some guy wakes up and says “Wow, what a weird dream. I gotta give up the turnip and beer smoothies before going to bed.”
* The psychotic monkeys who make up the show’s audience realize they just wasted 6 years of watching this dumb show so they riot and fling poo like only psychotic monkeys who’ve been duped for 6 years can.
* Fan designed t-shirts and gear for Lost? As in people dumb enough to admit they wasted 6 years watching that show? Well, they did watch the show for 6 years so they’re probably dumb enough.
* Lost fans have had enough of Proud Infidel telling them how dumb they are for watching that lame show and they send out a lynching party to take care of that loud mouth smart ass. Unfortunately, instead of heading for South Florida were he lives, they wind up “lost” in the Himalayas because they thought Florida was India. I told you they had to be dumb to watch that show!
The furry critters indigenous to Alaska called Squishes, make everyone wear “If it moves, mount it” tee shirt.
The finsl episode is cut short in mid seteance for a Nancy Reagan anti-drug speech.
A company of Marines comes ashore. The captain says to the First Sergeant, “Gather up all these jerk-wads and get them out to sick bay on ship.” The show ends with a Navy doctor explaining that remnants of a hippie colony concocted a mixture of LSD and native plants.
Lost is a interesting mush of genres. A TV story but broken up like a puzzle made from a hundreds of hours of video.
Unlike most TV that punishes thinking, Lost rewards it with twists and turns and ambiguous loose ends. Leaving your room to piece them together and wonder what if.
If I was single would I watch it? No, I didn’t watch TV when I was. But, when you are married anything that can appeal to both of you without making you feel like your brain is the grandparents from the old Willy-Wonka is a good step forward IMAO.
Gee, now I feel even better that I never watched it. It sounds pretty much like Gilligan’s Island without that annoying theme song that anyone my generation can sing from memory.
If history is any guide, Infidel should be spot on for the closer:
By the way, that annoying Gilligan’s theme song is running through my head now. “Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip…” Now it’s running through yours, virus like.
* Pam Ewing was dreaming again.
While I think this season has had its great moments, it’s been choppy at best. It’s probably impossible to craft an end to the series that will wrap up so many loose ends and satisfy viewers, but the producer’s should learn from some of their past mistakes – which are littered throughout the show’s last seasons (especially the third season). I think that some of the deaths (notably Rousseau’s), should have been tied up more, and other characters not introduced. In these last two episodes, they better justify why so many new characters were introduced this season with so many past characters still left with open-ended pasts and futures. http://thesmogger.com/2010/05/17/looking-at-lost-five-bets-the-show-shouldnt-have-made/
It turns out that the whole time they were on the moon, and in the final moments of the finale a disgruntled blogger sends nukes to destroy them and their island. And viewers cheer for the nukes.
Plus, many ask for t-shirts.
I’m thinking it turns out to have been the latest series of Survivor, the Extreme Edition.
_______ finds a boat
and waterskis and uses them
to jump over a pen of sharks.
Construct your own snarky comment with the above “Handy Snark Kit.”
I was going to put Sawyer’s name in the blank,
but I have no idea who any of these characters are.
As the show comes to a close, we pan back to see the hand, and then the face, of the animator. Bugs Bunny looks at the camera, says “ain’t I a stinker?”, and roll credits.
Very good, Stephen!
Pippin, Sam and Frodo show up looking for Merry, who wondered off 6 years earlier after smoking some bad ‘pipe-weed’.
If they end up having Spock inject Red Matter into the island, I’m going to hunt down J.J. Abrams and kick his ass.
Q. So what’s the end of Lost?
A. None! Because ice cream has no bones!
That whole series was an experiment. Seems to have been a successful one. Yes, you can make money with no talent.
I dropped out during the second or third season. It was obvious that questions would rarely (if ever) be answered as new ones piled up. One takes a leap of faith watching or reading a story. There is an unwritten agreement that all questions will be answered by the end. It was clear that Lost would default on that agreement a long time ago.