I can see it now: Random Labor Thoughts:
“Sarah K’s head just spun around on her head as she screamed. Does that mean she needs an epidural?”
“That labor thing looks pretty uncomfortable. I think I’d much rather play with the buttons on the hospital bed.”
“Why don’t hospitals have bars in the rooms? That way, a guy can cheer on his favorite team, enjoy a brew, and support his wife all in one. After all, time management is important for parents.”
“Would the peak of labor be a bad time to tell my wife I’m excited her boobs are going to get even BIGGER?”
I have news from Las Vegas, my friends. The over/under on posts from Frank J. during childbirth is set at 10.
Frankly, the under is the smart bet here. Our Frank isn’t the same Frank. He’ll be using the tweedle-do. Tweedle-de? Twit and tweet? He’ll be using that.
Son of Bob, when my Mom was giving birth to me, my Dad left the room for a short time to eat a sandwich, not to update his Tweeter-dee-doo account. I cannot recall the exact details of what he ate, but it may have even been fried chicken. No wonder I turned out okay.
When I delivered first kid, the hubby and doc kept ducking out of the room to check the football score. With the second, they got so involved in discussing the new digital camera he bought, they forgot to tell me when to push. Men don’t belong in the delivery room. That’s my point. They aren’t helpful and all they do is piss us off. Let Frank just blog from the bar on the corner. Corona will buy the first round.
Good luck Sarah. Frank when the doctor says she’s reached transition, move away from the bed. Eventually she’ll get over wanting to murder you. Eventually.
If Frank J Twitters during the birth, his daughter will start enjoying sports and stuff. Then as she gets older Frank and Sarah will notice that she dresses like and acts like a boy. She will have that fancy butch cut and then she will start with the tats and piercings. Finally she will bring home her new beau…Liz…to spend the night and Frank J will remember he did the Twitter on her birthday!!!!
Do not attempt to live-blog or videotape the birth. SarahK will hurt you. Badly. If you really want it blogged or videotaped, get somebody else to do it.
Just be there in the moment and enjoy it. Don’t multi-task. Just be a father. It will be one of only a few moments of pure fatherhood you will ever experience.
Live-blog the birth? GOD, NO! Some things really do not need to be public.
Frank, get the hell out of the delivery room. Bratgirl has it right – you don’t belong there. You belong in the bar, so that when they phone you to announce that you have a healthy daughter, you can shout “We did it!” (which your wife will appreciate) and buy everybody a drink.
Remember not to handle a newborn baby with the same hand you punch hippies with.
I would rather he not… idea! = Sell the afterbirth on Ebay! Feminists buy that stuff right?
Not gross enough for you? Not political enough? Here is both in spades
http://politicalvelcraft.org/2010/05/25/fbi-witness-murdered-who-had-access-to-obamasoetoro-passport-records/
The bigger question is will FrankJ podcast the birth.
“We’ll need a bigger boat.”
Sorry, that’s “We’re gonna…”
Poscast! With special guests and commentary!
Podcast is what I meant to write.
As long as he doesn’t Twitter. You don’t want your baby’s first experience in the world to be gay.
I can see it now: Random Labor Thoughts:
“Sarah K’s head just spun around on her head as she screamed. Does that mean she needs an epidural?”
“That labor thing looks pretty uncomfortable. I think I’d much rather play with the buttons on the hospital bed.”
“Why don’t hospitals have bars in the rooms? That way, a guy can cheer on his favorite team, enjoy a brew, and support his wife all in one. After all, time management is important for parents.”
“Would the peak of labor be a bad time to tell my wife I’m excited her boobs are going to get even BIGGER?”
Babys’ first screams recorded on 33″ vinyl. Retro chic.
33″?! Let’s try 12″ at 33 rpm.
Oh shut up Corona.
I think Corona found the bar. 😉
I AM the bar. Which reminds me.
It appears I’m also the mens’ room.
And the mop.
A pile of puke with a $20 sticking in it? Damn, I’m a big tipper!
I have news from Las Vegas, my friends. The over/under on posts from Frank J. during childbirth is set at 10.
Frankly, the under is the smart bet here. Our Frank isn’t the same Frank. He’ll be using the tweedle-do. Tweedle-de? Twit and tweet? He’ll be using that.
Son of Bob, when my Mom was giving birth to me, my Dad left the room for a short time to eat a sandwich, not to update his Tweeter-dee-doo account. I cannot recall the exact details of what he ate, but it may have even been fried chicken. No wonder I turned out okay.
Of course, back in those days, men were men.
Better question: will Princess Buttercup live-blog the birth?
When I delivered first kid, the hubby and doc kept ducking out of the room to check the football score. With the second, they got so involved in discussing the new digital camera he bought, they forgot to tell me when to push. Men don’t belong in the delivery room. That’s my point. They aren’t helpful and all they do is piss us off. Let Frank just blog from the bar on the corner. Corona will buy the first round.
This would be a pay-per-view event but but for Sarah K owning a .44 magnum.
Good luck Sarah. Frank when the doctor says she’s reached transition, move away from the bed. Eventually she’ll get over wanting to murder you. Eventually.
I think I’ll get yelled at if I’m busy with my iPad while it’s going on. Almost would need a third party.
Isn’t it fun how a new life makes everyone excited? I think it’s great.
If Frank J Twitters during the birth, his daughter will start enjoying sports and stuff. Then as she gets older Frank and Sarah will notice that she dresses like and acts like a boy. She will have that fancy butch cut and then she will start with the tats and piercings. Finally she will bring home her new beau…Liz…to spend the night and Frank J will remember he did the Twitter on her birthday!!!!
Do not attempt to live-blog or videotape the birth. SarahK will hurt you. Badly. If you really want it blogged or videotaped, get somebody else to do it.
Just be there in the moment and enjoy it. Don’t multi-task. Just be a father. It will be one of only a few moments of pure fatherhood you will ever experience.
Only if we can live blog comments/suggestions to SarahK. She’d appreciate that immensely.
Live-blog the birth? GOD, NO! Some things really do not need to be public.
Frank, get the hell out of the delivery room. Bratgirl has it right – you don’t belong there. You belong in the bar, so that when they phone you to announce that you have a healthy daughter, you can shout “We did it!” (which your wife will appreciate) and buy everybody a drink.
Which bar will you be in?
Yeah. It’s not that much fun right now. Every time I tweet SarahK all I get back is @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!
I’m hoping more for a live drawing. (Bonnet means baby.)