The imam Feisal Abdul Rauf has warned that moving the Ground Zero mosque could spur radicals. Also, they’d probably have to come up with another name than “Ground Zero mosque”. While I can’t dispute the second point, I wonder about the first. I mean, really, with all the things going on, that’s what’s going to spur on radicals now?

It’s funny how we can go over to the Middle East and blow stuff up and shoot Muslims, and we expect them to get along with us still because they’re kinda used to that, but it’s the Koran burning or Muhammad cartoons that will really anger the Muslims over there and supposedly turn them into rabid badgers but less rational. And now I guess the mosque moving would anger them too. Soon we’ll have radicals over there shouting, “Kill the mosque movers! They have moved a mosque, so they must die! Out of the 3,794,101 square miles of the U.S., there are a couple of blocks where they don’t want a mosque built so we must behead them!”

I think I speak for everyone who doesn’t suck when I say who cares what the Islamic radicals want? Isn’t that why we make those de-radicalizers so we can do what we want in America without worrying about what stupid violent people think about it? You know, de-radicalizers — I think some people call them “rifles”.

As we approach the November elections and it looks like the Democrats are going to take a major hit, there will be a lot of speculation on why so many people have turned against the Democrats and Obama. Here is my speculation.

I think the key to the Democrats’ troubles is the sucking. It’s just hard for anyone not to turn against them with such complete and epic sucking. They said they needed to spend hundreds of billions of dollars or unemployment could get as high as 8%, and they’ve spent their hundreds of billions we didn’t want them to and now it’s 9.6%. And then there was that health care bill we really didn’t want either which they wasted time on when all they were supposed to focus on was the economy. It’s hard to suck more than that. That’s record sucking.

But some will respond, “The Republicans also suck.” And yes, that is true. But the degree is important.

Let’s say you had a twenty dollar bill. And let’s say you accidentally misplaced it and lost it. That would suck. Now let’s say you had a bag of ten thousands dollars. Now let’s say you lost that. That would really suck. Now let’s say you had a choice between losing twenty dollars and losing ten thousands dollars. Both suck, but it’s still a really easy choice. And that’s why everyone but the most blindly partisan are turning against the Democrats. It’s pretty easy to vote for the lesser sucking when we’re talking such Brobdingnagian levels of sucking on the Democrats’ side.

So write that in your politics book on lessons learned: Don’t suck. At least not at fabled levels.

So Fidel Castro has admitted the Cuban economic model doesn’t work. Considering how much he ran the country into the ground, you’d think he would have figured that out after maybe a decade. Or if not that, surely he would have noticed things hadn’t improved after two decades. And if not that, surely he should have seen how it wasn’t a great idea after three decades — especially when the Soviet Union collapsed. But if that wasn’t enough, you’d think four decades of the ruining the country would be enough to make him say, “Maybe we were wrongheaded.” But, no, it took five decades.

So, anyway, here’s a preview of what Obama will be like fifty years from now. The important thing is that eventually he learns.