Mythbusters: Republicans


Tonight … on “Mythbusters” … we’ll look at myths about today’s Republican Party.

Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman will look at what’s right … and what’s not right … about the party of the right.


With recent election results … and even more recent primary results … there has been a lot of discussion about what actions the Republicans should take.


The conventional wisdom …


Is that the Republican National Convention?


Ha ha. Very funny. The conventional wisdom is that if the Republican Party swings hard to the right, they’ll alienate most Americans and ensure that Democrats will retain power.


We’re going to build a Republican Party that’s a Big Tent Republican Party. Then we’ll test how well it works.


We’ll start with the base. There’s the gun owners. You know, the Second Amendment crowd.


Over here, we have some who are proud of their country. Typical conservatives.


Okay, that’s a start. This sounds a lot like the TEA Party or the Sarah Palin crowd. But aren’t we going to include more than just stereotypical conservatives?


How about some independents, like those that helped elect Obama? You can’t win without them.


Let’s throw in some Charles Johnson types. That’ll keep the religious right in check.


We can’t leave out the Ron Paul group. Ron Paul! Ron Paul!!! Ron Paul!!1!!!11!!


There are the old guard. The establishment. They used to be called “Rockefeller Republicans.” And they crap themselves every time a candidate supported by the TEA Party is successful.


Those scared of Sarah Palin? Got them covered, too. Can’t let her take charge of things, can we?


What about those moderates that try to balance conservative principals with cooperating with liberals? Everyone knows that compromise is the way to go. As long as by “compromise with” we mean “give in to” liberals.


What do you think? Do we have enough of a big tent crowd? We have those scared of Palin and the TEA Party, moderates, Ron Paul supporters, Obama voters, the Charles Johnson crowd…


Let’s try this group out and see how it does. Tory? Go run an election with this crowd?


OOF!


OUCH!


Tory’s election day performance with a Republican Party that compromised true conservative beliefs and included nutcases from all over the spectrum … didn’t go so well.


Well, there’s your problem!


This Republican Party we put together doesn’t stand true to conservative principals. Instead, it’s a large group of a bunch of small groups.


Since they don’t share the same principals, they are always fighting each other.


This Republican Party looks like Democrats Lite. That’s why the GOP lost the White House in 2008. Sure, the Republican candidate had some good qualities, is a war hero, and is an honorable man and a fine American. But he isn’t true to the conservative principals of Goldwater or Reagan. And he got his clock cleaned.


Jamie and I have been exposed to this Big Tent Republican Party for too long. We need to scrub ourselves clean.


While Adam and Jamie remove the stench of moderates, we’ll leave you with this reminder: conservatives will be attacked by Democrats, and by some Republicans. And, you won’t win every battle. But, you’ll come out stronger for it.

Harry’s Pet

Sen. Harry Reid on Delaware’s Democratic Party U.S. Senate candidate Chris Coons, a self-described Marxist:

“I just think the world of him. He’s my pet.”

Well, at least he doesn’t shed.

Cross-posted at America is an Obamanation!

Global Stuff Happening

John Holdren, director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, thinks environmentalists should stop talking about “global warming” and instead call it “global climate disruption” — probably because people keep making fun of environmentalists when things don’t get warmer and it’s hurting their feelings. I got an even better vague term, though: Global stuff happening.

“All our activity is causing global stuff happening, and only anti-science troglodytes would claim stuff isn’t happening because Science! can definitively prove that stuff does happen. Just look at these test tubes. There’s stuff happening right there!”

That should help accomplish whatever it it environmentalists are trying to do… though I guess I forget what that is. They don’t want people driving cars or something. But have they thought of making giant robots part of the environmental message? “We need giant robots to combat stuff happening globally!” That’s the sort of message people could really get behind. It could make you rich!

Harry Reid Shows Affection, Creepiness

So in praising Christine O’Donnell’s opponent, Chris Coons, Harry Reid said, “He’s my pet.” That guy just doesn’t know how to not be creepy. And here’s some other things he said in praise of Coons:

OTHER THINGS HARRY REID SAID IN PRAISE OF COONS

* “I want to keep him in a pit and make him put the lotion on the skin.”

* “Please make him Senator! I promise to walk him every day!”

* “I wish we could both die side-by-side in a fiery car wreck so we could always be together.”

* “I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George.”

* “Tee hee. It makes me giggle when he eats from my hand.”

* “When I gaze into his eyes, I finally understand why some people turn to murder-suicide.”

* “I wish I had a miniature version of him I could keep in my pocket at all times.”

* “I just want to lick his face! Don’t you want to lick his face?”

D Is Democrat, and That’s Not Good Enough for Anyone

So the Democrats hyped some big announcement to get their base energized, and all it was was a new logo. I thought they were finally going to do something about how much they suck, but I guess that was too hard. And the logo is just a ‘D’ with a circle around, much like you might get drawn at the top of a test you barely didn’t fail. So, in a way, you could look at their logo as being highly ambitious for Democrats.

Random Thoughts

I am not impressed by many tweets. So many people just phone them in.

While I admire the pregnancy/birthing process as a cleverly patched together system, as an engineer, I still recommend a complete redesign. Obviously it works, or the human race would have ceased to exist, but it will never have good reliability unless the design is started over.