Archive of entries posted on 14th April 2011

On the Road

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Felt bad I didn’t line up any guest bloggers, so despite currently being in a car heading to Seattle (sitting next to little Buttercup), i thought I’d take some time to post something… like a reminder to buy a Nuke the Moon shirt. You only have a few more days to order one and make sure you get the size you want.

BTW, you hear about the whole budget deal being worth only like $352 million in deficit reduction? It’s like why do we even try; everyone in Congress is so useless. We should just send the lot of them to prison and start over. And if they were forced to make license plates in prison, for many of them it would be the first useful thing they’ve ever done in their entire lives.

Here’s your syrup and chicken feather

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Since Frank is away and I have a job and Harvey is working and Space Monkey is, well, Space Monkey…

What’s an IMAO reader to do?

Well, a long time ago, you could keep an infant entertained by putting a dab of syrup on his fingers and give him a chicken feather. Of course, it helped to have chickens. And syrup.

But this isn’t Georgia of some years back. It’s 2001 or something.

However, the kids do need entertaining. I gotta pack the iPad away and go back to work since lunchtime is over. So, I offer the blogging equivalent of syrup and chicken feathers.

That’s right! Open Thread!

Share your random thoughts. Plug something. Tell jokes. Just keep it clean. At least, what passes for clean around here.

What should Frank do next?

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Now that Frank J. has retired from blogging, he has all this free time on his hands.

He could be a full-time dad … Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Frank a full-time dad. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh. Yeah. Heh.

Raising a kid? That’s what Frank has SarahK for. Cooking, cleaning, having the occasional baby. Frank does his part: eating the food, creating a mess for her to clean, help make the baby. The important stuff.

Really, though, Frank needs something to do now that he’s quit blogging. This blog has consumed lots of his time. And he’s given his dedicated readers (I’ve been one for weeks years) lots of enjoyment. Eating, messing up the house, and the other stuff don’t take as long as they used to (do they, Frank?), so he still has all this time.

I have some suggestions.

  • Run for president. Sure, I’m already running, but Frank could run, too. He won’t win. If he comes close in the polls, I’ll distract him with something shiny.
  • Host a reality show. Maybe, Who Wants To Be A Blogger? Or he could have a contest between Democrats. Of course, the name The Biggest Loser is already taken. But we’re just looking for ideas now. The details will come later.
  • Obtain nuclear material and rockets, and nuke the moon himself. This may seem impossible, but if North Korea and Iran can obtain nuclear materials, then Frank can. And rockets? How hard could building one of those be? It’s not rock science.
  • Tour. Frank could take his band on the road. Play a few small venues. Conclude the tour with some stadium shows. And release a live album, Frank J. at Budokan.
  • Start a band. In fact, he may want to do this one before he does the previous one.

What else could Frank J. do to occupy his time, now that he’s retired from blogging?