Archive of entries posted on 18th April 2011

Oh, Look… The Left Found Something to Be Offended About

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This picture:

With this caption:

“Now you know why — No birth certificate.”

Let’s be honest.

George W. Bush has short hair and big sticky-out ears – he looks like a chimp

Obama has short hair and big sticky-out ears – he also looks like a chimp.

Michelle Obama does NOT have short hair and big sticky-out ears – she does, however look like Lursa.

Exit question: how come I had to paw through half of Google to find this picture, even though dozens of sites are mentioning it, yet the liberal media had no problem slapping me upside the head with Abu Ghraib photos every day for a month?

Obama’s Reelection Chances

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They keep talking about how weak the Republican presidential field is, but I’ve never really gotten that focus. In 2012, the big question is going to be whether Obama deserves to continue with the job he’s been doing, and I just don’t see how in the world he’s going to make that case.

Let’s just face it Obama sucks. At everything. When first running for president, he had no achievements to tout. Now he’s been president for a few years and he still has no achievements to point to — or at least any positive ones. He’s spent trillions on stimulus that has done nothing and made a hugely unpopular health care program. And he can’t even enthuse his left-wing base because he’s kept Gitmo open and started a brand new war. What in the world is he going to run on to justify giving another shot to someone who makes Jimmy Carter look competent? He’s still black, which was part of novelty of electing him in the first place, but electing a black president is done with so I think everyone is ready to move on to other things… like maybe electing the first competent black president.

The common wisdom still seems to be that this is Obama’s election to lose, but I think he’s already lost it. You can’t ask to continue in the most important job in world after years of being absolutely useless. And I don’t get the worry that the Republicans are going to nominate someone extremist. Calling someone “extremist” is a far cry from saying the person is actually less competent than Obama. We’ve never seen someone this idiotic and utterly useless as president. That actually leads to a great slogan for Republicans: “Vote for Republican nominee in 2012 because electing someone worse than Obama is statistically impossible.”

Still, people seem to think that Obama has a good chance of being reelected because the Republican field is weak (Intrade currently has a 59.7% chance of Obama being reelected), but I don’t think it matters that the Republican field is weak as long as they nominate someone since it’s a pretty easy case to make that someone — anyone — would be better than Obama. I mean, he’s like if you took all the people in America and scored them on being president, Obama is easily in the bottom 10th percentile. Randomly grab someone on the street, and you’ll more than likely have a better president. Obama is the aggressive kind of bad where someone actually has to put effort to suck that much. So, not to sound too optimistic, but it seems like kind of a lock for 2012 if Republicans just point out the obvious of how awful Obama has been. Am I missing something?

I’m Back

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Yay! I’m back!

Yeah, I was like gone and stuff.

Oh, and just to be clear, I’ve been joking about the whole quitting thing. I don’t actually have any plans to quit because if I stopped blogging then ad revenue would go down and SarahK would yell at me and it would be hard to buy pretty new hats for Buttercup. So no plans to quit… until I like die or am exploded or something. But maybe by then I’ll be able to replace my predictable humor with an algorithm and be able to continue on anyway.

That said, did you buy your Nuke the Moon shirt?

You only have like a day or so left to order one to make sure you get yours, and if enough aren’t ordered, I’ll quit blogging!

BTW, while I was gone, Crowder released a new video. I’ll post it here since I like to support the arts. It’s about the American dream and involves punching:

So, I guess I’ll get back to regular blogging and stuff. So what’s like happened in politics? Don’t tell me Obama did more stuff because I’m tired of talking about him.

Random Thoughts

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Won’t be satisfied with any outcome to the budget mess that doesn’t involve most elected officials living on the streets begging for change.

Actually, great idea: Members of Congress and the president have to give up their own wealth first before raising taxes.

Unless the main part of Obama’s budget plan is him resigning, it’s probably not going to be very good.

At least Obama is actually mentioning spending cuts. He can always be bullied into eventually doing the right thing.

Republicans should refuse to let Obama be clear until he gives into their demands.

The last step in Obama one-upping Carter in loserdom is getting attacked by a chipmunk.

Obama is not looking to be one of the great presidents, but he’s hoping to get a participant ribbon.

Starting to think we just send all of Congress to a forced labor camp and start over.

The rich people who need to be punished to boost the economy are the politicians.

Saw circus peanuts in the candy section of the store today. There exists people who would buy those? With all the different candies to choose from in that aisle, what depraved individual would settle on circus peanuts?

I hope the FBI keeps a watch list of everyone who buys circus peanuts.

Instead of playing the fiddle while Rome burns, we’re playing NPR.

How come all of our road trips have to involve getting stuck in a snow storm while the baby is crying?

HER: “Nice of those fire and rescue people to tell us our gas cap was open.”
ME: “They’re heroes; that’s what they do.”

They don’t throw rice at weddings anymore because it causes a slow, painful death for birds. They throw cyanide tablets which kills quickly.

“Ha! I’d call it more of a ‘B-quarium’.” -insult I’m saving for an aquarium I don’t find particularly impressive

My GPS keeps trying to taunt me into running red lights. Is that legal?

“Less than $50 in register at night.” We get it; the economy is tough for everyone.

Admiral Akbar wasn’t a very useful caddy since I already knew what the patches of sand were called.

Oregon was stripped mined of all minerals soon after it was discovered which is how it got its name: Ore-gone.

Everyday Buttercup gets smilier, gigglier, and more playful. CAN’T TAKE THE CUTENESS!!!

I’m afraid how beautiful the rest of my family is only the more emphasizes how dorky I am.