Random Thoughts

Won’t be satisfied with any outcome to the budget mess that doesn’t involve most elected officials living on the streets begging for change.

Actually, great idea: Members of Congress and the president have to give up their own wealth first before raising taxes.

Unless the main part of Obama’s budget plan is him resigning, it’s probably not going to be very good.

At least Obama is actually mentioning spending cuts. He can always be bullied into eventually doing the right thing.

Republicans should refuse to let Obama be clear until he gives into their demands.

The last step in Obama one-upping Carter in loserdom is getting attacked by a chipmunk.

Obama is not looking to be one of the great presidents, but he’s hoping to get a participant ribbon.

Starting to think we just send all of Congress to a forced labor camp and start over.

The rich people who need to be punished to boost the economy are the politicians.

Saw circus peanuts in the candy section of the store today. There exists people who would buy those? With all the different candies to choose from in that aisle, what depraved individual would settle on circus peanuts?

I hope the FBI keeps a watch list of everyone who buys circus peanuts.

Instead of playing the fiddle while Rome burns, we’re playing NPR.

How come all of our road trips have to involve getting stuck in a snow storm while the baby is crying?

HER: “Nice of those fire and rescue people to tell us our gas cap was open.”
ME: “They’re heroes; that’s what they do.”

They don’t throw rice at weddings anymore because it causes a slow, painful death for birds. They throw cyanide tablets which kills quickly.

“Ha! I’d call it more of a ‘B-quarium’.” -insult I’m saving for an aquarium I don’t find particularly impressive

My GPS keeps trying to taunt me into running red lights. Is that legal?

“Less than $50 in register at night.” We get it; the economy is tough for everyone.

Admiral Akbar wasn’t a very useful caddy since I already knew what the patches of sand were called.

Oregon was stripped mined of all minerals soon after it was discovered which is how it got its name: Ore-gone.

Everyday Buttercup gets smilier, gigglier, and more playful. CAN’T TAKE THE CUTENESS!!!

I’m afraid how beautiful the rest of my family is only the more emphasizes how dorky I am.

24 Comments

  1. “I’m afraid how beautiful the rest of my family is only the more emphasizes how dorky I am.”

    Don’t worry, Frank, like good wine, you’ll just get better with age – or turn into vinegar.

  2. You are letting Buttercup listen to NPR! Child abuse, plain and simple! Don’t come complaining to us when Buttercup comes to you when she is around 13 and tells you he is not to be referred to as Bob! You can think back to your days in the car when you were playing NPR and go like “Oh No”…

  3. I hope the FBI keeps a watch list of everyone who buys circus peanuts.

    Racist.

    My GPS keeps trying to taunt me into running red lights. Is that legal?

    Never disobey the GPS! The GPS is all powerful!!

  4. My GPS could never get me to run a red light. That’s at least partially due to the fact that it’s sitting on my bedroom floor instead of in my car being used.

    I’m a man! I don’t need no stinking directions, especially from some dumb machine! If I wanted to hear an annoying woman’s voice telling me how to drive, I’d just get married.

  5. “I’m afraid how beautiful the rest of my family is only the more emphasizes how dorky I am.”

    It is indeed very sad when you pose for a family portrait and it looks like you’re photobombing.

  6. …what depraved individual would settle on circus peanuts?

    Know your audience, Frank.

    At least Obama is actually mentioning spending cuts. He can always be bullied into eventually doing the right thing.

    Well, that’s only because he’s calling for “spending reductions in the tax code.” Quite coincidentally, I’m calling for a reduction in the number of times I don’t punch him in his Orwellian mouth.

  7. Circus peanut eaters are fine; it’s those creepy types that eat Peeps that you’ve got to watch out for.

    Also, I think the federal government should subsidize my Cadbury egg addiction that comes ’round this time of year. If they don’t, seniors and women will die.

  8. So is Ore-Gone? So Jimmy doesn’t exist because Ore is Gone? Wow! That’s like super creepy! So where do Oreo’s come from? I suppose that’s another fake out? They are probably made by a bunch of homos in like Boise or something… Oh yea, Boise is like the Potato capital of the world or something…

  9. Obama said he would rather be a great one-term president than a mediocre two-term president.

    Does his decision to run for reelection mean he’s given up on the former, and is hoping he still has a shot at the latter?

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