I heard a kid was thrown out of school on Earth Day for wearing a shirt with a Mars flag on it.
Doesn’t celebrating the planet we just happened to be born on seem a little mindlessly jingoistic?
Earth Day Tip: Properly dispose of batteries by sealing them in a box labeled “NOT BATTERIES” before tossing them in the trash.
Earth Day Tip: Many species are now endangered, which means they have nothing to lose and are extremely dangerous. Kill on sight.
Everyone talks about making the earth green, but shouldn’t it, by definition, be in earth tones?
Earth Day Tip: Do what you can to protect earth’s most precious resource: Gold.
Do comic book superheroes believe in Jesus? Because people coming back to life is almost a mundane occurrence for them.
Superhero deaths are like celebrity marriages – it’s rare they last more than a year or two.
How has Hollywood not done another Gremlins sequel or remake by now? I mean, Gizmo dolls gotta be a cash cow.
There’s this new lawsuit alleging that soylent green is only 35% people.
Kia is Korean for “Hyundai”.
“Press * to repeat the menu options. If you have a rotary phone, then we don’t even want your call, you @#%& hipster.”
My favorite part of Portal 2
I celebrate Earth Day failing to recycle stuff. I also try to annoy liberals by thanking God for creating this watery dump we call home. “Thank you, God, for creating a planet where I can keep all of my stuff. My stuff is very important to me.”
I celebrated Earth Day by using only cat-holes all day long (it’s a military thang).
They should release a full album of songs written by Jonathan Coulton and sung by
GLaDOSEllen McLain. Because the songs produced by that combination so far have been excellent.Superheros can’t be killed silly! Jesus wasn’t a Superhero! He was only the Creator of The Universe! Like that was suppose to be as awesome as Aquaman or something…
So if you have a rotary phone and they start babbling away at you in some language that nobody understands because it’s not English, you are pretty much screwed! We need to pass a law that all nations shall now speak English and shall rid themselves of the metric system! Any country that does not immediately comply will be Nuked as a supreme threat to Mother Earth!
Hyundai is Korean for park it in the garage, turn out the lights and listen to it rust…
Since time stops at the speed of light, shouldn’t we be trying to make Hyundais that travel at the speed of light. Then we could all get in them and zip around for like a million years, but since time has stopped for us, we would be like not aged at all and then we could stop the Hyundai and everyone would look at us like we were like Gods or something and we would be worshiped and they would give us all their Gold and stuff. Although in a million years, the Chinese will have taken over the world and everyone will be wearing the same clothes and sandles and pointy straw hats and riding bikes and such so we will have to make some changes.
@ussjimmycarter,
Apparently, you are unfamiliar with the phrase, “Get your paws off me you damn dirty ape.”
It took me 15 years of comic book withdrawal to start appreciating reality. I still relapse. When I see what’s happened to the superheroes I followed in my youth, I start to think Dr. Wertham was on to something.
Do comic book superheroes believe in Jesus?
Chuck Norris does, so they do if they know what’s good for them.
I celebrate Earth Day all year long by recycling only enough stuff to keep the town off my back. Solid waste (or waist for that matter) isn’t really a big problem in the US. It just seems so because it’s visible. It is a prob for Euro-weenies because they have no place to put it. Liquid waste is a bigger prob, which is why FormerHostage did more for the environment than 3,528 environmentalists combined.
And “Hyundai” is Korean for “why not go all the way and just buy a pile of rust?”
@Burma, the total was closer to 4,000…I had Szechuan the night before.
Isn’t Glados a civil rights group Barney Frank and Rosie O’Donnell support?
A slight change converts a Gizmo doll into Elmo. Hmmm….
I recycle my watch batteries by putting them in the church nursery. They just love to suck on those tiny little things.
Jesus is my superhero. His really cool superpower is that in the end he slays all of his enemies with a word.
Earthday? Isn’t everyday an earth day as opposed to a mars or venus day.
Kia is Korean for “not a Mercedes”
stalin’s birthday aka earth day is best celebrated by buying extra Styrofoam to dispose of and letting your diesel run all day.
earth day tip: endangered species taste best grilled.
Burma,
My Dad drives a Hyundai. It’s a nice car. And it has a vastly better warranty than the pieces of gubmint trash from GM and Chrysler. In fact, it was even superior to Ford’s warranty.
But it always felt wrong when we pulled in to the shooting club with that thing. Still glad he has a GMC, my old man is.
Marko – So the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree after all! Does your dad have yell Yabba Dabba Do and like run his feet like the dickens to get the thing moving?
USSJC, my cholesterol is down two points since I started driving my not a Mercedes. Although I had to buy really big shoes and gather 15 friends before they let me get into the drivers seat.
There are no more super heroes. If there were we would not have earth day. (Everytime I think of earth day, I hear Klytus in the back ground telling Ming the Merciless about his daily play thing.)
Hyundai is Korean for park it in the garage, turn out the lights and listen to it rust…
One word, “Yugo”.
@Marko: I apologize to any readers who may have construed my remarks to have been disparaging of the Hyundai Motor Corporation.
Rather, I apologize for taking a cheap shot at Hyundai. It was totally undeserved. And prolly not funny. I apologize for that, too.
Why do they call it “going green”? According to the pictures I’ve seen, Earth is pretty much blue with some happy clouds, why don’t they call it going blue?
They can’t possibly mean green like money cuz they all say money is evil and liberals never lie.
It’s hard to find a superhero these days who hasn’t been dead for a while. Super-villains, of course can never be counted as dead, no matter how many times their secret hide-outs, battle bunkers, hidden laboratories, space dread-naughts or palaces of doom blow up, burn down, or get crushed under a mountain of rubble, because comic book writers know they can always fill half a future issue with the improbable explanation of the villains survival.
But Jesus did the whole “He is Risen!” thing first and best.
That’s all right, Burma. Your cheap shot wasn’t that cheap at all. I will admit that my respect for Hyundai is relatively newfound. But, as I see it, the South Koreans fought well alongside us (Unlike two other countries that send us a lot of cars…) and free market capitalism is good no matter the color of the flag.