Anchors Aweigh!

Frank J’s always going on about how he wants the Army to have dinosaurs with rocket launchers to protect American freedom and as an added bonus kill foreigners.

Which, as a good patriotic American, I’m all for, but as a Navy veteran, I feel… overlooked. Granted, since the Soviet Union fell apart, and they were really the last country with an actual navy, there’s not much for the US Navy to do. I mean, other than play tag (as seen in Fred Thompson’s documentary, “The Hunt for Red October“).

Sadly, the Navy has withered away to a sad collection of floating airports & missile silos. Hell, our last real naval battle consisted of us giving the Iranian navy dirty looks until half of it sank due to flooding from the collective pants-wetting of its crews.

But all that is about to change. I bring you the new glory days of the US Navy…

Dinosaurs with rocket launchers… riding sharks:

20 Comments

  1. Since Killer Whales kill and eat Great Whites I vote for Killer Whales as the mount of choice for Dinosaur’s toting Rocket launchers. Besides the name is just so much more threatening. “Killer” Whales. So what could we call this new weapon. KiWhees or DinoWhales or Rock’em Sock’em Killer Whales or mayhaps ……………KWDs

  2. seanmahair:
    Killer whales are badass, to be sure. But they wouldn’t stand a chance against a shark that was carrying a dinosaur-mounted rocket launcher.

    However, your point is to be considered. Who’s to say that we don’t put money in to all kinds of kickass research?

  3. The Raptor appears to be barking commands to the shark. I think the shark knows who’s boss. Do both have reptilian brains or are there AI implants? Engineers need details!

    Harvey, that thing makes me wanna stay in a safe harbor.

  4. However, the modern military procurement process would never allow for something as sensible and inexpensive as this. The DOD has been so infiltrated by liberalism and silly twit-type Republicans that rampant fraud and waste is a calling card.

    Sharks? No, we’ll spend a massive amount of cash on a destroyer that fires incredibly expensive Tomahawks and is incapable of offering the amphibious assault concept the support it needs. I’m afraid we Ronin will have to offer ourselves up as contractors if we want proper military equipment.

  5. As far as I’m concerned — and I’m concerned pretty far — the last surface naval engagement took place when the USS Missouri and Wisconsin rained 1,078 sixteen inch shells on Kuwait and Iraq in ’91. Harvey’s plan has merit; however, we must consider that an RPG weighs a few pounds and is launched via a throw-away tube, while the cannons on an Iowa class battleship launch projectiles weighing up to 2,700 pounds from a 66 foot cannon that weighs 268,000 pounds.

    Advantage: Iowa Class Battleship (skip lame 15 second intro.)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.