Making my photos look like they’re from the 70s isn’t good enough; Instagram needs to add a Civil War era filter.
This may be a little late, but I’m starting to wonder if we should have stuck with the Articles of Confederation.
It would be cool if Google had an animated GIF of Muybridge murdering his wife’s lover.
Wow my HarperCollins check has a lot of security features. There must be a lot of dishonest authors trying to scam them.
None as genius as me, though.
The coolest security feature is this thumbprint that changes color when you touch. I will play with this check forever.
BTW, if you want to be featured in a future royalty check, go buy my book, only $1.99 (less than two dollars).
Most of the profits will go towards the “Buy Buttercup Cute Hats” fund.
And don’t read someone else’s copy instead of buying it yourself; that’s the same as theft which is a crime like rape.
“Only $1.99! That’s practically giving it away!” Yes, but with the distinction that we’re not.
I’m always afraid I’ll look back on my death bed and say, “I wished I’d pimped my stuff more.”
I probably won’t have a death bed, though; I’ll probably die in some sort of awesome explosion.
“R.I.P. Frank J. Fleming. When he exploded, it was hella awesome!”
I can’t wait until you all get to see my next book. I would say it will be the most awesome book ever, but that would undersell it. The previously most awesome book is so far behind it that it’s an insult to compare it to it.
Do you think the people who complain the most loudly about homophobes are secretly homophobes themselves?
BTW, I should remind you, if you already bought my book, you can also gift it to anyone with an email address (i.e., anyone).
I’m waiting to play Mass Effect 3 until they fix the face import bug. I don’t want to play with some Commander Shepherd I don’t recognize. #FirstWorldProblems
“Made it, Ronin! Top of the world!”
– Frank J. Fleming last words –
Points to any White Heat reference, you dirty
ratcat.Nowadays, we just don’t take awesome portraits like they did back then.
Dishonest authors? There is no other kind or author. But that’s okay, because publishers are even worse. Agents are just Satan’s children.
Glad to have helped chip in for the cute hat fund, though.
Frank J.’s last words will not be recorded, because he will be in a spacesuit, out of radio contact, riding an atomic missile to the surface of the moon while whooping and waving a cowboy hat around.
Just be sure not to do the last mission in ME3, Frank J…
I had no idea who that Muybridge character was, but fortunately wikipedia knows all. So the dude shot the guy his wife was having an affair with, and the jury acquitted him of murder, calling it “justifiable homicide.”
So apparently in America as late as 1874, if you slept with some guy’s wife, it was prefectly fine for him to kill you. I can’t say I have any real problem with that stance.
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Do you think the people who complain the most loudly about
homophobesracists are secretlyhomophobesracists themselves?No, I don’t wonder, the house that cost 3 times what it’s worth in the town that’s 98% white speaks for itself. It’s funny how those of us in the middle of ‘diversity’ don’t celebrate it half as much as the people who go out of their way to avoid it.
Dear Frank J.,
What is your opinion on the pricing of your book and the rumors that pennies are going to be removed from circulation. I mean, if pennies are no longer used as money, how are you going to provide change when I hand you two dollars for your book?
Why aren’t they call homoists? or raceophobes?
@Ernie – Interstingly, the jury called BS on Muybridge’s claim of insanity due to a head injury. But he needn’t have bothered with that defense since, as you cited, they did not have a problem with him killing his wife’s lover.
@DamnCat: Ya gotta love acquittal on the basis of “justifiable homicide,” given that every homicide is justifiable to someone. I ‘spose justifiable homicide is just a fancy way of saying, “he had it coming to him.”
Burmashave – one of my law school profs used to call it the “son-of-a-bitch defense.”
I met an old guy years ago in Maine who had killed his wife when he caught her with another guy. He was old but I’m pretty sure it happened long after 1874. I’m not sure if he even got charged but either way, he wasn’t in jail.
So, you kill someone who’s doing your wife….isn’t that killing him because of his sexual orientation? aka…a HATE CRIME? Oh wait, that only counts if you catch a black guy doing your wife. Justifiable hate crime?
It wouldn’t have the same ring to it when courts found laws to be unarticlesofconfederational.
On facebook my political affiliation is listed as Anti-federalist. Bring back the confederacy.
“Making my photos look like they’re from the 70s isn’t good enough; Instagram needs to add a Civil War era filter.”
Remember when everyone was fascinated with everything looking like it was from the future? Yeah, that was before we realized just how sucky the future looked, and now everyone wants things to look more like they did when the world wasn’t so crappy. Go figure.
“So apparently in America as late as 1874, if you slept with some guy’s wife, it was prefectly fine for him to kill you. I can’t say I have any real problem with that stance.”
Possibly later than that. About 15 years ago, a friend of mine came home early and caught his wife in bed with another guy. Jim told the guy to get lost, or he’d shoot him. The guy wanted to argue. Jim shot him. Cops came and gave him a ticket for discharging a firearm in the city limits.
“R.I.P. Frank J. Fleming. When he exploded, it was hella awesome!”
So you’re going to be in an explosion so big that it sends you back in time to when people still said “hella”?
How Obama is it? A company that doesn’t produce anything, has basically no employees and if it disappeared tomorrow, nobody would notice or care, sells for over a billion. I wonder how soon Stalkerbook will need a bailout?
@Viking: Law is complicated.