God: I need an Ark built.
*Jesus lowers sunglasses*
Jesus: I Noah guy.
— Master Penguin (@transvagmesh) February 27, 2014
Damn girl are you a McGriddle because I can only have you if my wife won't find out
— Brian Essbe (@SortaBad) February 27, 2014
*slams fists on coffee table* WHAT WAS SCAR FROM LION KINGS NAME BEFORE HE GOT THE SCAR
— EJ Gomez (@EJGomez) February 27, 2014
Hey computers, I'm sending an email without a subject, not launching a nuclear warhead. No need for the, "ARE YOU SURE!?!"
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) February 27, 2014
If you watch Wall-E backwards its about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people.
— noog (@noog) February 27, 2014