34 Comments

  1. Drought-stricken California’s newest plan to save water…

    sacrificing a virgin to the Rain Gods. [If they can find one in California.]

    A new law on the books that mandates that all water levels in state reservoirs immediately be 75% of capacity.

    revolves around the Northwest Spotted Owl and their “drinking” problem.

  2. …is to contract with Evian for all state water needs…

    …requires all sodas be labeled “for external use only”, to be used for washing only, because sodas are a poisonous evil if taken internally.

  3. …low flush are now no flush, toilets.

    …Ron Jeremy has to import his spit from China.

    …San Fran Nan is left to wither on the vino.

    …all bimbos must be saline free by July.

    …introducing; the three ounce bong. And chewable beer.

    …no more open containers, earthquake proof sippy cups are now the law.

  4. is to acknowledge that it’s a limited resource like health care. So of course they will write legislation which makes water mandatory for everyone but free to those who vote for the legislators. Each county will set up a water exchange marketplace to handle distribution. Remember, if you like your water, you can keep your water. (It’s just that other people will drink it) This will make water $2000 cheaper per year for everyone but just to be sure they’ll generate revenue with a tax on the people who refuse to participate.

    what are you laughing at? That’s not a joke. That’s really what they are going to do.

  5. …start Warren Spahn and Johnny Sain and…whoah now, do what?

    …let the new Water Zsar, Paul Atreides go all Muad’Dib on yo water wastin’ azzes.

    …only allowed to drink doing Dog Lapping Water position at yoga sessions, and Charlie Sheen’s nap, if you’re stuck like that.

  6. Fangbeer #16 says: . . . what are you laughing at? That’s not a joke. That’s really what they are going to do.

    I live here and can testify. Truth.

    Iowa Jim says: . . . will work just as well as the state’s budgeting process and schools

    More truth. I can’t laugh, y’all. Also, I have lost my ability to even. I. Can’t. Even.

  7. Jimmy says: Crabby, you need to “call exit” from that State.

    As David Burge (Iowahawk) likes to point out, U-Haul charges Californians more than twice as much to move to Texas as it charges Texans to move to California. The law of supply and demand, vividly illustrated:

    Ten-foot truck, Los Angeles, CA to Dallas, TX: $1,577.00
    Ten-foot truck, Dallas, TX to Los Angeles, CA: $ 698.00

  8. @23: Figures. But would you move if you could?

    I have a attorney nephew in a town (that will remain nameless) in SW central CA and between paying-off student loans to attend law school and having a young practice to pay the bills (including child), he’s stuck. The good news is that eventually he’ll probably make a lot of money from bankruptcies, corporate litigation and various civil lawsuits as California continues its slide into insolvency.

  9. @Jimmy #26: But would you move if you could?

    I have a huge extended family, including elderly parents (who have more energy than I), and ALL of them are in California. My daughter might move out of state some day; I would move away from everyone else to be near her, but otherwise I would hate to leave them. We are a tightly knit bunch.

  10. … High speed rail of course!

    … They’ve narrowed it down to either blaming Bush or the Jews.

    … Putting downed trees on display in public places and collecting the Hippy-tears.

    … Hiding under some coats until California is declared a disaster area, and then the feds can bail them out.

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