42 Comments

  1. A rogue lion with a scar across his face was seen in the vicinity…

    An NBC grocery store “investigation” went horribly wrong…

    He’s not really dead, but in witness protection to save him from the Serengeti mob…

    A certain queasy sea serpent was jealous of the new-found name fame that used to be his alone…

  2. All right conspiracy theorists, how did Cecil the Lion REALLY Die?

    People let tell y’all a story about Cecil the Lion
    on that tragic and fateful day.
    He was and sound until he was lured
    from his refuge in Zimbabwe…

    And did he ever return?
    No he never returned.
    But his fate took a sad turn
    He may live forever in the hearts of Liberals
    he was the Lion that never returned…

  3. Cecil received an iPod of Obama speeches, and asked to die.

    He ate one of Mooch’s school lunches.

    He committed suicide after he found out Hillary adopted him when she heard his name was “Lyin’.”

  4. All right conspiracy theorists, how did Cecil the Lion REALLY Die?

    He was abandoned by the State Department during a terrorist attack.

    The incident was going to be blamed on an obscure internet video, until someone at State remembered they already used that one.

    Instead, they blamed a dentist.

  5. His mane was lured into Havana harbor by Obama’s commie cat and mouse games.

    ObamaCare dentist was ordered to extract an abscessed incecil by an 3:01 a.m. executive order.

    Just like all African heritaged cats, he was pulled over for DWB, you dig?

  6. All Right Conspiracy Theorists, How Did Cecil the Lion REALLY Die?

    He failed to adapt to the environment, and became personally extinct.

    No conspiracy theory here, just “The Theory Of Evolution” in real time right in front of everybody’s eyes!

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