Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The weirdest thing about the new Apple Car…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The weirdest thing about the new Apple Car…
…it was designed using only Common Apple Core math.
…is the worm drive…
…is that the interface isn’t Siri-ous…
…- it isn’t PC…
The weirdest thing about the new Apple Car…
is a Apple CAR for chrissakes!
The weirdest thing about the new Apple Car…
it doesn’t drive too far from the plant.
if you buy one a day you keep the doctor away.
you can’t compare it to the new Orange car.
it was driven only by a little old granny Smith.
The weirdest thing about the new Apple Car…
it gets easily upset.
it’s not as good as a Strudelbaker.
it’s perfect for sale during the new Depression.
…. is the massaging fingers in the driver’s seat…. wait, where’s my wallet?
…the brake lights look like spinning beach balls.
…if you get stranded somewhere you can eat it.
…is its durability as one drives through building while relying upon Apple Maps for navigation.
…is if you don’t press the gas pedal at just the right angle, it doesn’t work…according to Apple this is a design flaw with the human foot.
…everything is welded in place – if something breaks you have to send it back to Apple for repairs.
…they kept the Mac slogan “crash different”.
…it’s twice as expensive as its non-Apple equivalent and half as useful.
…is that it drives itself off the map.
if you sit in it, it will bend.
The Weirdest Thing About the New Apple Car…
It’s almost as reliable as a Yugo.
…you can only fill up at Apple stations.
…is that in the middle of a drive it will stop and notify you that you have an upgrade pending.
…is that you can only register 4 passengers at a time.
…a new one is introduced every year with slightly different specs, immediately dropping the value of the previous model by at least half, and rendering all previous models completely worthless.
…it will have features that other auto manufacturers made standard on their cars 4 years ago.
…is that it doesn’t have any Chrome on it anywhere.
…you it only runs on Apple Fuel – which is 40% more expensive than gas.
…the Apple Car Genius Bar is just a bunch of tattooed/gauged out hipsters that know nothing about cars. They just try the ignition a couple of times, do the “hold both door handles open while pressing the high beam switch” reset, and then say “yup…it’s hosed…has to go back to the factory….it’ll be back in 4-6 weeks”.
… Hillary’s already taken out a patent on the wipers.
It DOESN’T come in rose-gold.
… is that the air bag is a beach ball that spins when it crashes.
When it catches fire it smells like Grandma has an apple pie baking.